The Last Day of the Year

Today is the last day of the year. The year has gone by so fast. As always, I still have no plans for tonight. We had about 10 different types of plans, but nothing was ever set in stone.

A house party, going to a "club", dinner, etc. But, none of those things really went anywhere. I am hoping that Frank hears something at work today. Otherwise, it is Happy New Year in my living room.

It's not like I NEED to go out, it's just fun to do so. I can't really do anything super crazy - I have to leave tomorrow at 9:30 am to get Colin. He has been away almost a week at his father's house. I miss him so much. Evertime I pick him up, he looks different to me...like he grew a foot or something.

Colin only sees his father twice a year. The week between Christmas and New Years, and then a week in either July or August. This is not my choice, but, his father has always been a jackass so I guess the lack of visits should not be a surprise. Whatever.

I may add to this post later - in the mean time.......HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My life - 10 days at a time

I think it is true. I am living my life 10 days at a time.

CD 1 - 10: Living carefree. Pissed that I got my period. But, excited that I did not have a 110 day cycle. Constantly checking the calendar for CD10, when I will start using OPKs. Thinking about my due date if I get pregnant this cycle.

CD 10-20(ish): Taking OPKs, waiting and waiting for a positive. Looking at an OPK in bizarre ways in the HOPE that maybe upside down, one eye closed, standing on one foot, using a black-light might produce a darker second line. Taking multiple OPKs because of my fear that I will miss a LH Surge. Tying really hard to keep sex fun with my husband.

CD 20-30(ish): Hoping that OPK that I was SURE was positive actually made me ovulate and hoping that we did the deed (DTD) enough. Writing on the calendar and circling with a big red marker 10 DPO. Over thinking every little non symptom - wondering if this was THE cycle. Taking HPTs way too early thinking that I will get a positive. Again doing the upside down, one eye closed, standing on one foot, using a black-light dance thinking that maybe I will be able to see a second line.

I don't want it to be like this, it just is.

Amy got ran over by a reindeer

Sing it....Amy got ran over by a reindeer, driving home from family's house Christmas Eve.....



Yup, I hit a deer driving home from my IL's house on Christmas Eve. This was about 10 minutes AFTER I avoided hitting a HUGE deer.



I don't know if I killed the deer, it was not on the side of the road....so, if it did die, it died in the woods.



Luckily, there is not too much damage to the car, and we are all OK. But, it damaged the side panel, the bumper, the hood, and broke the headlight that I just replaced. So, I am sure it will not be cheap to fix.



Here is a picture (PS - that is not mud on the side of the car. Apprently, that is deer snot!):

Cycle Day # 2

Well, I guess I should be happy that I did not waste my last expensive pregnancy test. I got my period yesterday; so today is CD2.

It is really weird, I am disappointed.....but not crying my eyes out upset. We have an RE appointment next month, so maybe we will get some answers soon.

This is going to sound weird, but I am hoping that I have another late(r) ovulation date. The night of CD13 and CD14 I will be out of town....without my husband. I really can't cancel it either.

So, if I ovulate on CD 20/21 like I did this past cycle I will be OK. However, you know damn right I will be jumping my husband as soon as I return on CD 15 - just to be on the safe side.

My appointment with the RE will be on CD19, I have no idea if it makes a difference or not.

On the plus side, I have been able to get my period on my own for several cycles in a row. With a decent cycle length (45, 30ish). So, there is still hope that we can do this on our own.

I am sure that when we meet with the RE, they will talk to us about our options and then order CD3 bloodwork. I am hoping that there will not be a CD3, because I will be pregnant.

Gift Cards and Shopping

OK, like I posted before, I am not happy with the quantity of the gifts for Colin this year. He is getting a few high ticket items. So, that means not as many.

So, I have been buying stupid non-gifts things that I would have bought anyway, but will wait until Christmas until he gets them (socks, underwear, etc)

So, I got a $50 AMEX gift card from my boss, I spent the entire thing on more gifts for Colin to put under the tree.

A bunch of little things like a cheat code book for his video games ($5); Magic cards - 3 Packs ($4 each, total $12); DVD/CD tower ($20); Pez for the stocking with refills ($3); Track Pants - 2 pair ($12.00).

I really don't need anything anyway. Besides, I would rather he has a nice Christmas than me buying myself a cute purse or something.

Although he does not believe in Santa anymore, he is still a little kid.

RE Appointment Made

I made my RE appointment.

I have been putting this off since November. I guess I kept thinking that THIS would be the cycle that worked. Maybe it has - I still have a few days before AF is even due - so who knows.

But, it turns out that the doctor that I want to see is only in my local office on Thursdays - so I figured I should make the appointment now, so I can be seen in early January.

My appointment is Jan 10th. I am HOPING and PRAYING that I have to cancel this appointment.

I guess I should be more specific

I know 11 dpo is still early, but I figured I would test this morning to be on the safe side. I am not a big drinker. But, I wouldn't drink at all if I got a + test.

Even though I am POSITIVE that I got a +OPK and did the deed (lol) I am not sure it worked. I totally do NOT feel pregnant. I will not test again until Sunday (probably - lol).

I am dissappointed, but since it is still pretty early, I know I still have a chance so I am not upset yet.

1 1/2 Drinks

I will probably have my 1 1/2 drinks tonight.

The End

Following Blogs

I read a few blogs on a regular basis. To be honest, there are some that are not listed on my "blogs I read" list. I go to a blog and then sometimes read the blogs that are on their list.

But, in reading these blogs, I feel so personally connected to each and every writer. It seems like I know so many personal details about their live. And, that I actually KNOW these people.

I have actually only met a handful of the people that I read their blogs. I follow every one so closely hoping for good news. I check several times a day when I know a certain date is coming up, just to see if there is an update......yeah, I know, I am a loser.

My sister has also sent me a few links to other blogs as well....although, I am still not sure if she reads mine.

If you read my blog and want to share your blog (if it is not listed on the side), please let me know and I will add you.

My blog is about everything and anything....so your blog can be any topic also.

Do you think we made a baby?

I am 8 DPO and I am going crazy. Tried to keep myself busy, and I really don't think about it every second of the day. But, the thought does cross my mind a few times a day.

I asked Frank last night if he thought we made a baby. He replies, "Hell yeah!!" I hope his confidence is a good sign :)

I even had a few drinks last night - thinking to myself that it hopefully will be one of the last drinks for 9 months!

I am not gonna test until Friday, which at 11DPO is still very early. But, we are going to a party and I would hate to drink my normal 1 1/2 drinks and worry about it for nine months. I am not a big drinker. I maybe drink a total of a dozen drinks a year. So, it won't be a big deal if I do not have a drink on Friday.

Even at my Christmas Party a few weeks ago I just drank soda....even though I knew I could have thrown back a few if I wanted to.

So just a few more days until the testing begins!!!

1400 Cookies

Yep, you read that right. 1400 cookies.

Every year my sisters and I have a cookie baking marathon. We go to my parents house and bake all day. We always lke to set a goal of 100 dozen. This year we made 119 dozen so that is a little over 1400 cookies.

We have been doing this for god knows how long. And every year we give them all away. OK - maybe we keep a few for ourselves, but the majority of them are given to others. People at work, neighbors, in-laws, etc.

I love the fact that all my sisters get together to do this. We do a lot as a family and I would not have it any other way.

By the end of the night we are exhausted and my parents house if DIRTY....mom is in charge of cleaning, we are in charge of baking.

Let me tell you, though - I hated that hout long frive home at almost 11 pm last night!!!

DPO ???

I can honestly say I had to look at my chart to see what DPO it was. I have been really busy the past few days so I lost track. I can totally understand why people stress out over the 2WW. I am only 4 DPO and can't believe how much longer I have to go.

I actually only have one HPT (internet cheapie) in the house - and I think I may have gotten it wet at some point. Which means that I either have to buy more now and test, test, test starting at 10 DPO...... or wait until I am at at least 14 DPO and buy one. Gee, let's see what do you think I will do???

I hate buying them in the dollar store though. I feel like a teenager trying to sneak out and get a pregnancy test. I always get the cashier that gives me "the look". You know, the look of "why the hell is she buying 10 pregnancy tests" or "Can't she afford a real test" or "it only takes one test". I am sure everyone has been given "the look".

And, or course, I refuse to buy a "real" test unless I am sure it will be a positive result. Pregnancy test are EXPENSIVE!!

So, now we wait

Got 2 positive OPKs on Sunday. So, I possibly ovulated on Monday. So, now we wait. Just in time for Christmas - although you know I will be testing early. I am a member of the PIAC (pee in a cup) addict club!!!

Also, I have a Holiday party on the 21st, so will probably test that morning so I will know if it is OK to drink or not.

This is my first official 2WW; I know it will be a long one! I just hope that I actually ovulated, not just the LH surge. Especially since I am not having any signs of ovulatation (no cramps, etc).

I am going to an RE in January if I do not get a BFP this cycle. I have been putting off making the appointment since October. Each cycle I think, "this will be it" and I won't need the appointment. Or that somehow making the appointment will jinx the cycle.

Luckily, the place that I am going to go does not have a long waiting list. When I called originally, they said that I can get an appointment within 1-2 weeks. I know some women that have to wait 6-8 weeks for an appointment at other clinics.

The office that I would be going to is an office in a smaller town. But is part of a huge association of other offices. Plus all the doctors go to all offices. It is one of the better clinics in my state. I got lucky because it is only a 20 minute drive from my house and on my way to work.

So, I hope in less than 2 weeks I post my BFP!!!!! Keep those fingers crossed.

A positive OPK!!!!!

As you read a few weeks ago, this cycle is really weird.

I was using the CBEFM and since I had to start my cycle over after I already used 3 sticks, I ran out when I had to start over.

I also did not have any left-over internet cheapie OPKs. So, I went to CVS and refused to spend $50 on new sticks for the CBEFM. So, I went with Answer Brand. $20 for 20 OPKs. The same price as the Dollar Tree, but less embarassing to purchase.

I have been taking them for the past few days - nothing to report.....until today.

I took one at 1:15 PM - got a positive result in less than a minute!!! I still waited the full 5 minutes because I was sure the control line would get darker. It did get darker, but the test line was also getting darker.

I really thought it might be a fluke. Maybe I dipped it too long, or maybe the strip was actually reversed and the "test" line was really the control line.

Since I doubted it, I took another on at 7:30 PM (according the instructions, you can take any time of day)

Yep, you guessed it. Another positive!!!! Today is CD19, counting from the new CD1 (see sidebar)

Here are the set of pictures. I am getting some tonight!!

OPK Pictures

1:15 PM - CD 19 7:30 PM - CD19

101 Things in 1001 Days

OK - I guess I am a bit of a copy cat. I was thinking about my "list" and went to my good friend , Google, for help. I can't rememeber exactly what I searched for, but a bunch of "101 things to do in 1001" days came up. So, I decided to look into it.

A lot of what I found were lists of actual things to do or buy or try. But, when I started my list, a lot of my "items" are not so specific. But, I am OK with that. Heck, it is MY list.

This is a description of what the 101 Things to do in 1001 days is all about:

The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?: Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.
2. Stay Focussed. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.
3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.
4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.
5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

So, I have started my own list. I am about 1/2 way there to 101. So, here goes.....(in no particular order)

101 Things to do in 1001 days - my list

1. Grow and maintain my nails
2. Plan a “just us” day every month with just me and Colin
3. Have a date night at least once per month - every month
4. Remember that sometimes “good enough” is …well, good enough
5. Make a will
6. Call my grandmother out of the blue - just to tell her I love her
7. Drink more water
8. Walk instead of drive
9. Encourage Colin to learn the guitar (and not guitar hero)
10. Join a book club
11. Remember to stop and smell the roses
12. Visit my local museums
13. Finish an entire Sudoko book - wrong answers or not
14. Invite friends over for a home cooked meal - at least once a month
15. Try to find a red wine that I will actually drink
16. Learn and make 10 new recipes that my family loves
17. Take at least one “just for me” class at the local college
18. Understand football enough to make my own picks for Fantasy Football
19. Send a note by MAIL to someone I am thinking of at the moment
20. Have a neighborhood BBQ and invite the crabby lady across the street
21. Send in my application for the Women’s Crisis Center volunteer program
22. Figure out what looks best on me and not care about what size it is
23. Buy clothes for my current size, not the size I think I still fit into
24. Travel to a state that I have never been to before
25. Start a new family tradition
26. Learn all the phone numbers that are saved in my cell phone
27. Go to see a Broadway play (or other NYC show), at least once a year
28. Learn to knit or crochet
29. Write a compliment letter ever time I receive great service AND mail it
30. Go to Las Vegas
31. Pay for the toll of the person behind me - at least once a year
32. Make 2 weeks of meals in one day and freeze them
33. Go to bed late once a week just to spend more time with my husband
34. Make a complete list of birthdays of all the cousins (and their kids).
35. Call above on their birthday
36. Post on my blog at least 3 times a week
37. Go away for the weekend by myself - just a me vacation
38. Get really dressed up and invite friends over for a fancy cocktail party
39. Learn how to skip stones
40. Re-learn to make stained glass
41. Surprise someone when it is not their birthday
42. Pay cash for all purchase for a whole month
43. Take a long distance road trip
44. Invite someone from church for an after service lunch
45. Blow-dry my hair for work at least once a week
46. Send a local family in need a donation just because
47. Learn to stop rolling my eyes
48. Write a letter to let my son know how much I love him
49. Meet Colin’s step-mother

I am going to make a separate blog of this list and update it has times goes by.

I'm gonna make a list

Every year I make the same old New Year's resolutions. And just like everyone else in the world, I break them by January 15th.

This year I want to make a list - not a resolution, but a list of realistic things that I would like to do in 2008. I am sure that the list will include stuff like lose weight, but I think it might be things like "grow and mantain my nails"; "plan Just Us days for me and Colin"; stuff that can be realisticly acheived and that will make me happier.

Ok - so I have 2 (above) so I hope by the end of the year, I will have a ton.

Suggestions are welcome!

Maybe it's the chain letters????

I HATE!!!! chain letter e-mails. Now, there are times that I do send a forward. But it is only when I think it is really funny. I also delete all the extra crap and also delete the "forward to 10 friends in 30 seconds" crap - plus give the disclaimer that I never forward, but found this funny, etc.

I don't mind the funny forwards, or the forwards that have the question/answer things. But, do I really need a picture of Mary, the mother of Jesus, sent to me saying that if I do not forward then I will be subject to horrible bad luck?? And not have a bad day bad luck....but struck down by lightening bad luck. Please, give me a break.....and please stop sending me these.

Is this the reason why I have had no luck in the past year??? Because I don't send the forwards??

Maybe I should start a chain letter, maybe that would make up for the fact that I never forward the ones I have received in the past.

For ONCE, Colin is ahead of the game

OK, I have never been one to spoil my child. And to be honest, Colin is normally the kid that gets a "new to him" toy/video game/etc.

For years, Colin has gotten whatever game system that was 3 systems ago. Mainly because the were cheaper and I can buy used.

Example, Colin has a Game Boy Advance. Since this model, they have made Gameboy SP, Nintendo DS and Nintendo DS Lite (basically all gameboys). Colin only got this gameboy last year. Each new model plays the older games so trading up would never be an issue.

For his birthday he was given a used Playstation 2. Playstation 3 came out last year. So, he is still repeating the "new to him" trend.

BUT!!!!!! Colin's birthday was Nov 1st. About 4 days before his birthday a new game came out (Guitar Hero III for Playstation 2). I had traded in a few games and an old system and got this brand new super cool game.

Colin got it WAY before most of his friends got it (most MIGHT get it for Christmas)....and now it is considered one of the "Big Ticket Items" for this Christmas. Which means that you can't get it - sold out.

So, for once....Colin has the newest and greatest "hot item" and is the envy of all his friends. I think probably for the first time........oh wait, there was the original Tickle me Elmo....but that is another story all together.

Bigger project than I thought

OK - I have been making custom candy wrappers for about 5-6 years now. I sell them on ebay (well, right now I am on an ebay break).

I thought it would be nice to make candy bars for everyone in my husbands department (12 people) and for everyone at my office (30 people). This is fine, I do this all the time so it really does not take too long.

Yeah, well I thought I would step it up a notch this year. I saw on a scrapbook site about a little bag that you can make out of one sheet of paper. I played around with the measurements and figured out the size I would need to fit the Candy Bar.

Well, since I have this pretty bag, I don't want to have JUST the candy bar. So, I decided to fill it with Peppermint bark, the candy bar, and other candies.

Well, the little bags are taking longer than I want and I can't seem to properly melt the white chocolate for the peppermint bark. UGH. I will do them all. When I start a craft, I just HAVE to finish it (not because I am stubborn - but beacuse I don't want to waste the supplies LOL)

I will post pics when I get home tonight.

Colin's Christmas List

Mp3 Player - Check
New Gameboy Thing - Check
Video Games - Check
Books - Check
Sibling - Um, what???

Colin said (not joking) it would be nice to get a sibling for christmas. He really does not know that we are trying. But, knows that we would like to have more children. He knows it takes 9 months to HAVE a baby. But, I doubt he knows how long it can take to get pregnant.

I told him, "these things take time - I promise, I will tell you when it happens"

Now, I know he will not be disappointed if he does not get everything on his "list"....but it kills me that Colin want's this just as much as my husband and I do.

2 long posts in a row...wow

The last 2 posts were really long, so I will not bore anyone with another one.

It is a little less than a month before Christmas, and I am basically done with shopping. Not only that, but the presents are wrapped and under the tree.

I have a couple of projects that I want to do for Christmas, so I guess I have plenty of time for that now. Besides, December is so full of activities that I am not sure I would be able to find time to go shopping.

It kind of upsets me about the amount of presents for Colin. I always spend around the same amount of money on Colin. But, this year his wish list were for expensive things that come in really small packages - video games, mp3 player, etc. So, I still spent the same amount, but there are less presents.

I spoke to Colin about this. Told him that we only spend $XX and that it is possible that there may not be a lot of presents under the tree. He totally understands. I think he would rather get what he wants as opposed to a lot of stuff that he does not want.

Plus, as much as I object, he is totally spoiled by my sisters and my parents.

19 and Pregnant (Continued)

If you want to follow along, you might want to read the post right below this one.

OK - where was I? Right, break up with year long boyfriend, that I guess I technically lost my virginity to (see below).

Ok, we broke up in late sept? And since it was a new year away at school, there are tons of new people to meet and hang out with. I started hanging out with this guy and his friends that lived on the same floor as me. We would hang out as a group or just watch TV in his room or my room. Just as friends.....well, at first.

By December, we were hanging out all the time, still just as friends. We went to the movies, went to concerts, went to dinner. I really started liking him as more than friends. Over the Christmas break (about 3 weeks) we talked all the time on the phone Yep, regular old land-line long distance, this was way before the internet, AIM, e-mail, cell phones, etc. We are talking about Dec 1993!!!

We were talking every day almost. I kind of knew that we would be more than friends when we got back to school in Jan. Yeah, I was right about that. I don't know if we ever went on an actual date, but it was just assumed that we were a couple.

We started hanging out as a couple in late January. We were fooling around by this time. I told him that I was not "experienced" and he was OK with that for a couple of weeks (2 maybe). So, we were basically doing EVERYTHING else but "IT", and we got to talking.......he basically convinced me that "it really is not that big a deal; it is not like it is life changing; can be a lot of fun"

I really thought, "you know what, he is right" Maybe I put so much pressure on myself for the "first time" and now that it is technically over, why not just enjoy being young.

I could not have been more wrong. "IT" was life changing. About a week after I made the decision to sleep with this guy, I got the strangest feeling. I KNEW I was pregnant. So, I talked the the guy. He said, "don't worry about it...I always pull out". Well, OK then. I was a stupid naive 19 year old with NO experience so I figured he knew what HE was doing.

I can't believe how much trust I put in a guy that I just started being intimate with.

So, wouldn't you know it.....about 2 1/2 weeks into my "intimate" relationship with this guy (the first intimate relationship I ever had) I find out I am pregnant.

I call my sister a few days before my period is due and tell her that even though I am not late, I think I am pregnant. I had planned to go see her at college that weekend and wanted to give her a heads up. Now, way back in 1994, and early pregnancy test was one that you could take as early as 3 days AFTER your missed period. So, this was going to fall during my visit to my sister.

We have our visit, go out partying (no, I did not drink), stay up late, etc. We buy a pregnancy test at the Drug-store across the street from the bus station. My mom would be so proud, it was on sale AND had an attached coupon. For some reason, I can't rememeber why, I do not take the test until I get back to my college.

I take the test, I am pregnant. I don't even remember how I felt. Seriously.....I have no idea.

Here I am, a pregnant 19 year old.

Pregnant from a guy I just started sleeping with less than 3 weeks ago.

Pregnant from a guy that said "sex is no big deal" and "this will not change the rest of your life"

Pregnant and 6 hours from home.

Pregnant while I am a sophmore in college, my dream college.

Pregnant while trying to work 3 jobs to pay for college.

Pregnant and not married.

Pregnant and 19.

I just can not believe it. The guy is pledging a fraternity, so I have to wait to tell him .... wait until at least the next day.

I call my sister and then the next, not really sure what I want them to tell me. Not really if I want to believe them when they say it will be alright.

I really don't sleep that night. my room-mate is bugging me for answers why I seem so distant.

Fast forward to the next day. The guy is on a break from pledging so I have a couple of hours before he has to leave. I go to his room and shut the door.

I tell him.......he tells me that i HAVE to get an abortion..."no way" I say. If I keep the baby, he wants nothing to do with it or with me.

"It won't change your life" ........ words that will stick with me forever.

He breaks up with me on the spot.

I am 19, pregnant, alone, a single mom. From the day I found out I was pregnant, I became a single mom.

I knew my life would never ever be the same.

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My life, of course was never the same since that moment. Still to this day, more than 13 years later....his father really has nothing to do with my son. Two years ago, my son got a dad when I married my husband.

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It really does feel good to get it all out. There is obviously so much more to the story of the last 13 years, maybe I will share it from time to time.

19 and pregnant

A post on the Nest broght back so many memories. Many are saying is made up drama (MUD); but it really does not matter if it is or if it is not real. Not that I want to defend this person, or to bash her----I am just saying that it brings back so many memories (good and bad)

Here are the "facts" - I will assume that all facts are true and not MUD.

The post (in summary) is about a 19 year old college student that is engaged. She is getting married around Valentine's Day 2008. She was planning on waiting until marriage to have sex. Well about 2-3 weeks ago, in the heat of passion, she wind of having sex with her fiancee.

Yep, you guessed it. She is pregnant. Now, while she says that it was totally unexpected, she thinks it will be "cool" have have this child serve as a flower girl/ring bearer at their wedding.

The posts (and follow-ups) go on and on about a bunch of crap that really is not important for my sake and the sake of this post.

Anyway, many of you know by now why this brings back so many memories.

I was a 19 year old college student, far away from home. I really never thought that I would wait until marriage to have sex, but obviously at 19 I did not give it up yet - I guess I was waiting for someone special.

In my freshman year of college, I dated this one guy. We were both virgins so not having sex was really not a big deal. We dated for a little under a year before things started getting bad between us. We would break up and then get back together - over and over again.

He finally convinced me one last time to get back together, right before our 1 year anniversary. On our anniversary, we went out for dinner, went to see the sunset and it was all romantic.

We decided to lose our virginity to each other that night. In the physical sense, I did lose my virginity that night. But the act was more like a technicality. It was over in less than 5 seconds because I stopped it beacuse I thought it felt wrong - not physically, but emotionally.

So, the "act" was never finished. But, I guess since there was one moment of penetration, I guess I was no longer a virgin.

We broke up again (for good) 2 days later.

I will continue in another post......1. because it is 5 pm and it is quiting time and 2. because it is a pretty long post already.

I will give you a teaser - this guy is not my son's father........more later

CD1 or CD9????

I have no idea.

Just a warming, this post will be full of TMI.

Some basic info:Did 2 clomid cycles way back in may/june. Since then, have been on a medication break. No meds, no appointments, nothing. I do take the occasional OPK, but not really on a regular basis.

Ok, last wednesday I posted that I was super excited. I got what I thought was my period. Which would mean that I just ended a 28 day cycle. My cycles have been 110 days down to 45 days. So, I was thrilled. I even thought that I had ovulated on my own about 12 days before I got what I thought was my period.

Some TMI - the reason why I thought it was my period was the obvious reason. I wiped and saw blood - not a tiny spot or anything, but like most of the toilet paper. So, I use a tampon. Happy for the next couple of hours (weird, I know...happy to get your period)

So, (more TMI) - I use the bathroom again and change the tampon, not a heavy flow or anything, but I think enough to use a tampon again and not a liner.Again couple of hours later, go to bathroom, only a few spots on the tampon. So, I use a liner this time. For the rest of the day they is really not too much on the liner. And nothing overnight.

Next day (CD2), only need a liner....and could have probably used the same one all day (not that I would, but just based on flow amount). I got maybe enough to cover about an inch wide of a liner throughout the day.

Even less the next day (CD3). Also, on what I think is CD2, my boobs are KILLING me. Just barely touching them hurts really bad.

So, I kind of think, "hey, this is a weird period, my boobs really hurt, and I don't have bad cramps"........do you see where this is going? Yep, I take a pregnancy test. Of course it is negative. So, I figure that I just had a super light period. Which I think is fine since before BCP, I remember having super light day and a half periods. My boobs are STILL killing me.

I did not post about the above since I figured so many people have much worse problems and no one would want to hear me whine.

OK - fast forward to today. If the above was a period, then today would be CD9. Yeah, well this morning I use the bathroom, and when I wipe, I get toilet paper full of blood. Huh???? So, I of course use a tampon and now I have period like cramps. What the heck??

I know they both could not be a true period. You can't ovualate and get a period within 9 days of each other.So, should I start over and count today as CD1 and just assume that last week was some kind of mid cycle bleed? I don't think last week was any type of ovulation bleed, since I got what I "thought" was a + OPK about 12 days before the previous mentioned CD1.

Even if I was not TTC, I would still think this is odd. I guess I will see how this goes and then maybe tomorrow I might make the decision to call this CD1 or not.

The plan was to start OPKs tomorrow at CD10, becuase I thought that it was possible that I would get a + OPK around CD16 (but did not want to miss it).

So, for now, I guess I am stuck in limbo.

You will die eventually

I love my husband to DEATH apparently LOL. Before I say anything, let me remind you that we were joking around and were laughing so much!

On my way to bed last night, I kiss Frank and say " I love you". He of course replies, "I love you too"

"Good", I say, "cause you are stuck with me FOREVER" He says so lovingly, "It's OK, you will die eventually"

We laughed so much I almost peed my pants. LOL

28 Days!

OK, if you read the post below, you will see that I said that I thought this cycle would be shorter than 45 days. I thought that because I "thought" I got a postive ovulation test on CD16. Both lines were lighter than what I have seen in the past. Even the control line was kind of light. But, both lines were the same light color. Possibly making it a "positive" test???

Since both lines were so light I really was not sure if it was positive, or if the control line was defective in some way and should be darker...which everyones knows..a darker control line is a negative test.

So, My husband and I did what we had to do, assuming that it was positive. Well, yesterday (CD29) I got my period (now CD1). Which means that that test probably WAS positive. I was not even upset about not getting pregnant..I was just super excited that I got my period after only 28 days!!!

Is this even possible, that after over a year, that my cycles are back to "normal"??? I will believe it when it happens over and over again (assuming I do not get pregnant)

So, since I am a pee-in-a-cup addict, you KNOW I will make sure that I PIAC around CD11-CD18 (or until I get a + OPK).

I already told my husband about this and asked him how he would like me to tell him "we need to do it today". Some people have said to light a candle in a certain place, try to seduce him, etc.......He said to me 'just tell me, "it is CD? and I got a +OPK so we need to &*%$@ now" Wow, so much class I tell you.

So, I am hoping that my post in about 14 days says, "OMG, I got a +OPK!"

Stay tuned!!

Cruise here we come :) or :(

OK, many of you know that we were taking a break from IF meds and any other type of assistance. We have been on this break since June. We just used no assistance, but we still tried. We figured that if we did get pregnant, than it would be a blessing.

We took this break because we are going on a huge family cruise in April/May 2008. This cruise was booked in Aug 2006 (yep, 20 months in advance). According to the cruise line, you can not be more than 24 weeks pregnant on the day you board the ship. So, even though when we booked the trip I thought I would have a kid by that point and be pregnant again, I never thought that I would be an issue.

So, being the super anal person that I am, I figured out what day I would have to have the first day of my period and assuming that I got pregnant that cycle, h0w far along I would be at the time of the cruise. So, today (nov 9th) is the day that the break officially ends. Any period that starts after today MAY result in a pregnancy that will be less than 24 weeks on April 25, 2007

Nov 9th plus 24 weeks = April 25, 2008 (again, remember that pregnancy weeks are calculated based on the first day of your last period, not when you ovulate).

Now, I have not gotten my period yet, which means that I still might have a chance this cycle (slim to none, but I still want to be hopeful) My last period was Oct 16, I don't think I ovulated at all (or yet). My last cycle was 45 days long, and I am only on CD 25 so I guess I still have a while.

So, since now I am in the OK zone to get pregnant, and it has been over a year....I am in the clear to make an RE appointment. But, something is holding me back from making that call. Maybe it is because my cycles are getting shorter and shorter (from 110 days to last cycle of 45 days) and I kind of think that maybe this cycle will be shorter than 45 days. If I get down to a managable cycle length, maybe I will also ovulate on my own.

Also (bad excuse though, I know) - I only have 3 vacation days left for this year. So, if I go to an RE and they start testing/monitering, etc then I will need to take some time off. So, maybe it is better to start in the new year???

10 Years Together

Wow, it has been 10 years since Frank and I started dating. I can't believe it. We were just some young kids when we had our first date.

I still can't believe that at 23, he was A-OK with dating a single mom of a 3 year old. He said that it never really was an issue. I find it hard to believe....but either way I was happy that he decided that I was worth a try.

I remember our first date, we went for drinks...I actually was not even sure if it was a date. We met at work a few months before and were hanging out in groups. I went out a couple of times and went to a few parties where it was a group thing and he was there.

So, when we went for drinks, I was not sure if I was going to find 5 of his friends there also. When I saw that it was just going to be us, I was excited!!!!! In the middle of the "date" I even said to him, "to be honest, I am not even sure if this is a date".....he kissed me and said "does that answer your question?" Uh, yeah, I guess so. Luckly I was into to him....or otherwise that would have been very weird LOL.

We went back to his house (well, his mom's house) and we were just hanging out, getting to know each other and he hands me a single rose, my favorite kind. So sweet.

Ten years, where does the time go?

My Favorite Picture so far!

This is my favorite shot from Colin's Photoshoot. There are so many great ones, but this is the one that most people also say is their favorite.

Since I could not decide on which ones to purchase...I bought the entrire CD of images. This way I can print them all and also print enlargements for gifts. You KNOW everyone wil be getting these pictures as gifts.

I should get the CD this week, so I will add more pictures when I get them.

If you want to see the whole photshoot....Click Here

Happy Birthday Colin!!!

Colin turned 13 today. Where does the time go. It is official, I am the mom of a teenager.

I really thought that by now Colin would have been a big brother. I can't say that it does not bother me that IF I ever have any more kids, they will be light years apart in age.

I grew up very close to my sisters. There is 5 of us within a 10 year span. We are still close to this day.

More than likely, Colin will not have a close relationship with his siblings when he is young. Maybe when they are older. The minimum age difference will be 14 years.

I'm a model you know what I mean....

I swear my kid is SOOO cute. We did a photoshoot in a park because I am horrible at taking pictures and as he gets older, they are far and few between.

I love the way they came out!!!

Here is a link to the photoshoot....enjoy
Colin's Photo Shoot

I will have a teenager this week

Colin will be 13 in a few short days. I can not believe that I will be the mom of a teenager. That makes me feel really old!!!

I still can't belive that Colin is my parents only grandchild. You can tell too, he is spoiled spoiled spoiled!!

Nestie Power

I posted this a few weeks ago, but now the project is done so I just want to share.

I am very active on my local board (NJ). This board is very active and very populated. One of the girls on this board was recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She also just had a baby a few short months ago.

She will be going through many treatments in the next few months. Someone thought we could all come together to help her get this this difficult time. A quilt idea was brought up. Well, since many know I am a quilter (I made quilts for a triplet mom - another story all together), they approched me with the idea.

I jumped at the chance to help. I decided to make one for this nestie and a matching smaller one for her daughter.

Each nestie that wanted to participate sent in a small piece of fabric. We also put the idea out there for everyone to send me a inspirational quote or a personal message to the woman.

I would make the quilt and another nestie offered to make the key. The key would have a swatch of fabric along with who sent it.

Well, 117 Nesties sent me fabric. Most of these people, including myself, have never met this nestie. I can not believe how perfect strangers are will to help others in need.

We are hoping that everytime the nestie uses the quilt, she will be reminded that she is surrounded by love of 117 people.

The key turned out to be a work of art!!! It is beautiful

So, I just wanted to share my good-news story of the day.

Here are some links to the pictures of the quilts and the key.

The Quilt
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8CatGbFmzbO5A

The Key
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=9AaMWblmzaqMyw

I think I own a Funhouse Mirror

OK - I admit, I am not a skinny minny by all means. I have packed on a few (ok, more than a few) pounds in the last 2 years. I hate it. I try to eat better, exercise, etc. It just seems like nothing is working. I am going to start WW next week.....why not today, cause there is no meetings near me this week.

Anyway.... When I look in the mirror at home, I know that I am heavy. But, sometimes I think I look pretty good. My hair looks good, I don't think I look like a mac truck, and I feel OK about myself. I felt this way on Sat. I went to a company function and had a new pair of jeans on and I felt pretty good about myself.

Well, there were pictures. I hate pictures. I see these pictures and feel like I must have a funhouse mirror in my house. Those pictures DO NOT look like I felt that morning. Not only that, but there are other people that I thought were about the same size as me, well not so according to those pictures.

I am not going to post the pictures...just thinking of them makes me upset.

Plus, as much as I would like to say that everyone looks different in pictures - how could it be that everyone else looks like they do in real life. Wouldn't the same be true for me.

I am going to use these pictures as my before pictures....I will share the after.

One year ago today

OK - while I am kind of keeping track of my cycles, I swear this was by complete accident. I was looking for something in a message board profile that I have and realized that I took my last BCP one year ago today.

I seriously never thought it would be one year later and I would still not be pregnant. My husband and I always knew that we were going to have our children close together. That said, I thought that I would have gotten pregnant right away and by this time this year would be thinking about a second baby.

It kind of hits you like a ton of bricks. Yes, I KNOW there are tons of women out there (even on the message board that I frequent) that have been trying for MUCH longer than a year. It does not make me feel any better though.

We wanted to wait the full year before we saw a specialist, we will be going in November. I just was really thinking that it would work within the year.

Gap Photo Contest

Ok - so I entered Colin in a Photo Contest for GAP. He barely make the cut-off for age. You have to be 12 years old or younger on Oct 24, 2007. Well, Colin will be 13 on Nov 1, 2007 - just a week after the cut-off. But, still 12 on 10/24/07 so he does qualify.

I feel weird doing it since it is close to the cut-off. But I am not breaking any rules or anything. I think he is super cute, a bunch of other people have told me he is super cute. Who know where it will go.

He is the deal. GAP is running a casting call (photo contest) and it is sorted by age group and gender. So there is a group for 0-4 Girls, 0-4 Boys, 5-12 Girls, & 5-12 Boys. You can submit upto 5 pictures. GAP will chose 5 finalists from each category for a total of 20 finalists.

Once the finalists are chosen, it is then an online vote. Who ever gets the most votes in each category wins. The prize is a Trip to San Francisco for a photo shoot, with a chance that the photos will be displayed in a GAP store or in a Gap Ad, a Kodak prize package, a GAP wordrobe.

OK - here is where it gets interesting. You can view a SAMPLE of the photos submitted. In the category of boys/girls 0-4 yrs old - there are 12 pages of pictures. On the Boys 5-12 yrs old, there is only 2 pages of pictures. Now, I know this is only a sample - but it kind of makes me think that there are A LOT less photos in Colin's category.

So, to me that means that he has a better chance of getting picked to be a finalist - even chosen at random. Plus (like I said before), he is SO DAMN CUTE, so that should increase his odds as well.

Colin has been wanting to get into pictures, etc so maybe he will win this and get something else out of it.

I will keep you posted, because when he is a finalist - I will need your votes!!!

The Hawk is back!

The hawk is back. =)

Colin has been growing his hair since June. All the cool kids are doing it. LOL So, the other day he says that he wants to re-cut the mohawk. Fine by me. Hey, I figure that if that is the worst thing that he does then I am doing OK.

I actually think it looks really cute. He looks much older (I think).

A bunch of people have said that he should be some kind of print model.

People have been saying this since he was a baby. I looked into this for about a second when he was small, but never made any calls, sent anything in or did anything about it. When he was 2 & 3, he did win 1st place and best in show (both times) in a photo contest at our county fair.

He has also said that he might might to do it. I don't know - who would book a kid with orange braces and a mohawk. Something to think about though.

REVISED 1/2/08 - I have a site meter on my blog. It tells me where people clicked from to find my blog. A lot of hits are from a google image search of Mohawks. Since this post is viewed a lot, I figured I would add some more mohawk pictures. These pictures were taken in November 2007.

The Bathroom is "Finished"

Like I posted below, I "redid" our bathroom. It cost about $87, I think it looks great!

You can see all the pictures HERE

Hot Air Balloons make me smile

I live in an area that is known for Hot Air Balloons. Basically whenever it is nice out (april - Oct) people will take the Balloons up. They even have an entire fair devoted to the balloons.

The balloons only go up at sun-up and sun-down....I don't know why, but that is how it is.

So, going home from work the past few weeks, this is all that I see. And not just one. I am talking about maybe a dozen in the sky.

It makes me smile each and every time. I am new to the area; but I do not think that I will ever get used to this. I will probably always smile when I see the balloons in the air.

Breast Cancer Quilt

I woman I "know" was just diagnosed with Breast Cancer - she is young; maybe around my age. She is part of an online community that I belong to. I just can't believe it.

A bunch of the women on the board thought it would be a cool idea to collect pieces of fabric and make a quilt out of all of the pieces. Someone thought of me. I love doing quilts and was honored that someone thought of me to make the final product.

So, there will be a post and everyone who wants to contribute will send me a 1/4 yard of fabric; I will then use all of the pieces to make a quilt for this woman along with a matching one for her very young daughter.

Makes me think how lucky I am. My prayers go out to this woman, and her family. Please pray for StaceyLoren.

Paint = Prozac

I am really bad about updating this blog. My last entry was a week ago.

Anyway, we are in the middle (OK a standstill) at re-doing our house. The upstairs bathroom (the only one in the house right now) will be the last room that is done. This will be done after all the work on the first floor is done.

Well, this bathroom is the ugliest bathroom ever. The tiles are pink plastic, yes plastic and the floor is very stained and no amount of scrubbing gets it clean. The bathroom is also only 4 1/2 feet wide so it is VERY narrow.

But, we decided to spruce it up a bit. We are going to paint the pink plastic tiles white and the top part a dark beige; we are also going to put cheap stick-on tiles on the floor. Basically just make it look clean. It is all temporary so we are not looking to spead a lot of $$.

So far, we primed the bottom half and painted the top. Boy, what a difference already. We are going to paint the bottom half a pure white along with the crown molding. The top has one coat of paint, not sure if it will get a second. We also have not done the floor yet - we are waiting until all the painting is done and then we will do the floor.

Here are some Before and After Picture - please note that the after pictures were taken at night and I can't figure out how to change the settings on my camera.

Does Parallel Parking define who I am??

I remember when I just got my driver's license it was snowing really hard and I wanted to go to the mall (using my own personal car). Well, my dad basically told me that I could not go unless I was able to parallel park perfectly 25 times. Um, jerk!!

That said, I have gotten better over the years. And now I have to do it basically every day in front of my house. I have a really small car so sometimes I can squeeze right in. But, the reality is that I "Fail" most times.

On your road test, you fail the test if you hit the curb while parallel parking. I never really understood how one mistake could make you fail the entire test. Especially since it is not the norm for most people to have to parallel park every day. Is is a skill that you need at some point in your life, sure. But, you don't see me failing in life for making one small mistake...right?

Could you image if you life was considered a failure if say, you forgot a birthday, or made a typo, or couldn't figure out calculus.

Give me a break. My life is not a failure, even though I can not parallel park.

I AM going to Win - I HAVE to

OK, I mentioned before that I am trying to win a contest that would give us $100,000 for house repairs. Well, in addition to entering online, you can also enter as many times as you want by mail. Each entry has to be it it's own envelope and MUST be hand-written.

Well, I enter myself and my husband every day and I just spent the last hour writing out mail-in papers. The contest is a random drawing, so the more times I enter, the more chances I have.

I will probably only do about 100 to mail in, stamps are so expensive. But, I figured that I spend about $40 each time I go to Walmart so that is about my limit.

I HAVE to win this. Frank keeps putting off getting a Home Equity Loan or a Re-finance. Now he tells me that we should wait until Feb to do this because at that time we will have more money to pay back the loan (Colin's braces will be paid off, the Lease will be turned in, the cruise will be paid for)

I really thought that by Dec '07 our house would be almost done. That was giving it 19 months to do the work. It looks like we just started!!!!!! It makes me so upset. I am starting to hate the house.

You can look HERE for pictures of the work that we have already done. It is not much, but it is something. Make sure you scroll all the way down to see all the albums.

When (that's right, not if) we win, we can do all the work and then some "extras"

If relaxing = Pregnant

If relaxing = pregnant then I should be pregnant with about 6 babies now.

This whole summer was just about chilling out. We are on a IF break until Nov. So, we did not think about anything. Did not care about timing, did not chart, no bloodwork, nothing.

Also, we have been really lucky that my parents have a shore house. We have been there 2 times already (going again this weekend - yeah); plus so much more. Here are just some of our "relaxing" this summer

• Going to the shore 3 times
• Sleeping until 9 am on the weekends (most weekends)
• multiple BBQs
• a movie a week - our local place has mid week specials
• Planning a fall girls only cruise
• Company picnics
• 2 local plays
• general kicking back

I really wish that was the answer. Relax and you will get pregnant.

My First Roomate

There was a poll about roomates on my local board so I thought I would share some things about my first roomate......

I got this roomate when I was a junior in college. He was a very short man. But, the second I saw him I thought he was the cutest. I knew him for 9 months before we co-habitated.

He drooled all the time and I had to constantly clean up his crap. I put up with it though. In fact, I kind of liked it.

After a while he started talking back to me. And most of the time I could not even understand what he was saying.

All of a sudden, all of his stuff was all over the place. It was like he owned the place. In every corner of every room were his "toys".

It did not take long before I was in total love with him. I always knew that we would have a life-long friendship.

Over the next few years, he became more and more dependent on me. I had to drive him everywhere, as he does not have a license. I also had to buy everything for him, he did not have a job. I loved him anyway. More and more each day.

We were always together, then things changed. He started hanging out with his buddies...all the time. It seemed like he was never home. I really missed my guy and always thought about the time we shared just the two of us.

When I met my husband, my "roomate" was so great to MH. They hung out all the time and soon became buddies. I loved seeing them hang out together. What could be better than my two favorite guys together.

Soon, my "roomate" figured out that I would marry MH and he welcomed him with open arms. They really are a great match.

So, now I am married and I took my "roomate" with me (of course) to live with MH. Now, my husband is looking to add a new "roomate" to our bunch!

My Roomate, my son. Love ya.

$100,000 Grand Prize

Yup, I will win this prize. I am not going to tell you about the contest because I don't want you to steal my chance. You can enter every day from now until Oct 31. This means (at least to me) that the drawing will be random so the more time I enter, the more chances I have to win.

With $100,000 I could get the stuff that I want instead of the stuff that we can afford. Which is a huge difference.

There is also another contest (different place) that will pay your mortage or rent for the rest of your life. I am going to win that one as well - so don't bother entering yourself.....you will be wasting your time LOL.

Make it Grand

Do you wonder what it means?

Well, a few years ago I started a favor business. Mostly on ebay, though. I was trying to think of a name that was not "Amy's Favors" or basically anything that had my first or last name in it. It makes is seem too "I do this out of my basement". So, my last name (well, my madien name) has the word "Grand" in it. So, this guy at work said, "why not Make it Grand"? He then also gave me the tag line of "Why have a great event, when you can Make it Grand?"

It stuck.

I still use this as my name, but now I also look at the catch phase as a personal motto. Why do something good/great if you can make it grand. It reminds me to savor everyday and live life to the fullest.

In case you are wondering, I started a little website as well. Right now it does not have any other the favors on it. I am just doing free designs for announcements/invitations/holiday cards and I started selling quilts as well.

I started to the free designs to keep me busy. It really does pass the time and make me less stressed about IF issues. The quilts are because I gave them to a "nestie" who is having triplets. Yes, triplets. 35 people from my local board went to a shower for this nestie and over 100 girls chipped in to buy her the triplet stroller.

Well, everyone at the shower loved the quilts and suggested that I sell them. Here is the Website (Make it Grand, etc)

I am a slacker

I really want to keep up this blog. I did not post yesterday, sorry. Got my period, finally after a mere 75 days. Lucky for me I got it without meds. This is a first for me. I have had only 4 cycles this whole year. I had to go on meds to get the first period in 2007 (after months of no period). Then 87 days later, meds again.

I tried 2 cycles of clomid and each of those cycles were about 35 days. I never ovulated on either one.

We are on a break until I see an RE in Nov. The break is for personal reasons. As much as I would like to have a baby, we planned a huge family cruise for April 2008. This was booked in Aug 2006. I thought I would have had a baby way before the cruise and be pregnant again on the cruise. Obviously, I never got pregnant. So I figured out that if I get pregnant between June and November then I can not go on the cruise. The cruise does not allow women over 24 weeks pregnant to board the cruise ship. And you need a note from your doctor faxed prior to the cruise stating how many weeks you will be when the ships departs the dock.

So now, I finally get my period after not having it for the whole summer. Even though I have not ovulated on my own or on Clomid, I now have to be dilligent about figuring out our timing. For almost a year I have been trying to get pregnant, and now for a few months I will be trying not to get pregnant. We are not using any protection and we figure if we do get pregnant it would be a miracle. We will then just not go on the cruise.

If I am not pregnant by Nov, I will go to an RE. That will be over a year of trying.

Youngest Mom, Oldest Child

Today is the first day back at school. So I was talking to the other parents at work. It turns out that Colin is the oldest kid. Cool. BUT, I am the youngest mom out of all of the parents. By a lot!

Getting pregnant at 19 was not really in my life plan, but whatever - you deal with what you are given. Most times I don't think it really makes that much difference. I have a great kid and think I am a good mom. The "young mom" usually is not an issue. But now, he is almost a teenager and I still look pretty young. Not 16 young, but younger than I am. I am constantly getting, "you have a teenager?"...."you do not look old enough to have a 12 year old"....."are you his sister?"

When he was first born, I looked like I was 15-16, boy did I get the stares. It was really bad when he was about 1-2 yrs old. I still looked like a teenager, but now with a toodler, which in their eyes meant that I was 14 when I had him.

I think being a young single mom made me the person who I am now. Let's hope that I will not an "old" mom when I ever have another kid.

The Tiger is blind in one eye..

Huh, the tiger is blind in one eye?

We are back from the shore. I really was a great weekend. We went to a zoo that is basically a rescue place for all types of non-domestic animals. Most have been rescued from other zoos, some from a circus, some were "pets" that got too big.

Most of the animals there had a little sign with their story. Where they came from, how they got there, etc. There was a tiger that was originally someones pet (??) and it was brought to another sanctuary. That sanctuary closed and the tiger was sent to this place. But somehow along the way, the tiger became blind in one eye. Yeah, well every animal that we saw (and I mean every animal), Colin would say "yeah, well the tiger is blind in one eye"

It became a joke. We were even saying it when it did not make any sense.

It was a great weekend. A much needed break.

13 yrs ago - my baby shower

My mom has been so nice to point out that 13 yrs ago this weekend was my baby shower. She was also so kind to point out that she thought I would have had another child by now.

Thanks mom, I have not thought about that at all.

Time has flown by so fast. Colin will be a teenager soon :(

Gambling and Appliances

Weird title right, I guess I should explain. Frank has a friend that is known to gamble A LOT! We went to AC a few years ago with Frank's job and this guy LOST $5000. IN ONE DAY. Yeah, I like to gamble a little too. But I generally gamble with about $100-$200. I don't like to lose my money, but I figure that if I went into the city for dinner, drinks, & dancing, then I would spend about $100.

So this guy, apparently is in a lot of trouble and a lot of debt. He bought a condo last year which will be forclosed on very soon. I guess he intended on remodeling it and bought (but never installed) all new stainless steel appliances, new cabinets, new title, new lighting, etc.

This is obviously where the appliances come into the story. We have been without a kitchen for over a year now! That's right, no kitchen.....we do all of our cooking on the BBQ or a small single coil hot plate. We are on such a tight budget for our renovations. This friend, knowing that we are fixing our house, wants to sell the appliances (Fridge, stove, Dish Washer, microwave) and the lighting fixture to us for only $2000. We might even buy the titles.

I feel bad for the guy that he is going through all of this crap, but hey, I am getting a really good deal.

Does "milk & sugar" = "light & sweet"?

OK, every once in a while I stop at dunkin donuts before work. It is a smaller one, but hey it's on my way. Anyway, I don't go in there enough to be a "regular". But, let me tell you, if you are a regualar, the people that work there know exactly what you what the second you walk in the door.

You can hear them say, "Large, skim, 2 sugars" or "Old fashioned, large black". If I went in there all the time, I can guarantee that I would walk in the door and they would say "Medium hot tea with milk and sugar, glazed stick". What is my point you ask?? I am predictable.

That's right, I am very predictable. I can meet my husband at a casual dining place and he could order a full meal for me. Burger, no tomato, diet coke, side of fries. I am not saying that I never deviate from that, but if he ordered that I would be perfectly happy.

It's not just the food. That is who I am. I get in a grove and just do the same thing over and over again. I don't really like change.

It's funny, I stayed at a crappy job for almost 9 years because that was my routine. I only left because I moved and it would have taken me 1 1/2 hours to get to and from work. That moved changed everything, and my "regular" went out the window.

When I moved, everything that was regular in my life changed, and all at once. New job, new town, new husband, new school for Colin.....new start. It was of course a change for the better, but it took a while to get used to my new regular.

To end - maybe next time I order my hot tea I will order light and sweet instead of milk and sugar.....boy I am a rebel :)

We are planners!

OK - My sister just sent the schedule of events between now and January. First let me say that I love my family and love spending time with everyone. We plan like crazy (Poker night, apple picking, baking cookies, etc). There are so many of us that it is hard not to plan 5 months in advance.

We have something to do basically every other weekend from now until Jan. Then we take a break and go on a huge family cruise in April. A cruise, mind you, that was planned in Sept '06. Yep, you read that right, we planned an April '08 cruise in Sept '06.

When we planned the cruise, the first thing that popped in my head was "oh, cute - I will have a little one to bring and hopefully be pregnant with #2". I am not joking, I seriously thought that I would go off BCP in Oct 2006, get knocked up soon there after, have a baby by the end of 2007 and be pregnant again by April 2008. I never thought it would be almost Sept and I would not be pregnant.

Like I said, we are planners. We like to plan. We do things years in advance. You don't plan to have issues getting pregnant. In December of 2006, I really thought I would be close to having a baby by now. Picking out the nursery, trying to find out about my shower, etc.

The funny thing is is that in Feb, I was trying to calculate what my due date would have been if I got pregnant that month. It turns out that it was going to be the same due date as Colin's. I thought that would be cool to have kids born on the same day only 13 years apart. Yeah, well not only did I not get pregnant that cycle. But, that cycle would last 87 days.

Tough Guys Wear Pink ?!?!?

OK, as much as I really don't like printed tee shirts, Colin is getting to the point where he likes to pick out his own clothes. Don't get me wrong, I don't lay out his clothes, I just buy them.

Last night we went school shopping. Sassy (or as I like to call them - Snarky) tees are all the rage. Now, there are some that I would never let him get; but there are some that are just so funny.

Last year we started with "Tough Guys Wear Pink" - really?? I think guys that wear pink are "pretending" that they are tough. It is almost like a unwritten rule. You wear pink, you better be tough because you are gonna get the crap beaten out of you. LOL

Colin found this hat. It was a camo fisherman type of hat. Of course there is no tag on the hat so I have no idea how much is actually cost. But let me tell you, the hat looked so damn cute on him. His is growing his hair so the hat kind of covers the funky hair that he has right now. But he wore that hat the entire time we were in the store. Mind you, the entire time I still have no idea how much it costs. Hey, for al I know it is actually not even for sale; but something someone left behind. So we get to the register, and they have someone go look for the same hat to get a price. I love being "that" person that holds up the line. So, I pay for the sassy tees and figure that I would pay for the hat separate so I don't have an angry crowd behind me.

10 minutes go by, do I really want to wait for this hat. God, it looks so cute on him. So I wait. I tell Colin that if it is too expensive he can't have it.

Finally, we get a call. The hat costs $2. GREAT!!! The best part is that I have no cash, so I had to charge $2. Whatever, he looks really cute in the hat!

Going "Down the Shore"

I always wondered why we go "down the Shore" but once we get there we are still "down the Shore" Why aren't we "at the shore"?

Anyway, we are going to LBI area again this weekend. This time with Colin and my parents. MMG said that she might join us but that we are "Plan C" - Plan C???? I guess I don't really rank.

I must say, it is nice to have a place that we can just get away to. It is supposed to be a cheap vacation, but I always spend lots of money here. We are hoping to do things that Colin will like since he has never been there. There is a place called Popcorn Zoo, apparently it is the BOMB. The place has only rescued animals and the such. And I guess you feed the animals popcorn. I think Colin will like it.

It will be a nice break. It is funny, because the last time we were there was when I thought I would ovulate and by now I would be a couple of weeks pregnant, yea well that's not the case, I have not even gotten my period since 2 weeks before our last trip. Now that I think about it, that seems much longer than 67 days. That trip seems so long ago.

Anyway, it will be nice to get away. And here is the super lame part. My parents will be there this weekend also. I mean it is there house so we really can't kick them out. But, my mom has already told me that my dad wants to give Colin $100 to have a great time. The way I look at it is that is $100 I don't have to spend!!

Colin starts school in 1 1/2 weeks

Colin will be 13 in the fall, where has the time gone. I can't believe I was pregnant 13 years ago. Over the last year, I have been on a message board with others trying to get pregnant. I can't believe how much has changed since 1994. I am listing them here, I am sure that there are more, maybe I will update the list as I see fit.

Some of the differences
1. When I was pregnant, you got one (yes one) ultrasound. This was done at when ever the Dr said so. This is now considered the "big" ultrasound. I was able to have 2 ultrasounds because at the end I was spotting and had to have an emergency ultrasound. I see women getting an ultrasound as early as 6 weeks.

2. You were months pregnant, not weeks. You just figured that a pregnancy was 9 months so based on your due date you would subtract 1 month from that, etc. So I was due in Nov - so in July I would have been 5 months pregnant...I have no idea how many weeks that is.

3. You never figured out the due date yourself. You went to the doctor and they pulled out this fancy wheel thing (I know they still have it) and that was it. There was never moving any due date based on ultrasound. Your date was based on your last period - that's it.

4. Registering for a baby shower was basically unheard of. My mom basically made a list of things that I needed and crossed things of this list.

5. Nothing matched, I had what I needed and that was enough.

6. When you went to Toys R Us (or anywhere) there was about 4 car seats (high chairs, play pens, etc) to choose from. I have been there recently and I can not believe the amount of crap the have now. I also can't believe that each company has several patterns, types, etc of every product. 13 yrs ago, the only way you got a different pattern was use a different brand.

7. During my pregnancy - other than drinking alcohol and smoking, everything else was ok. Yes, I was told not a lot of caffenine and maybe some other small things, but in no way was it no tuna, no ceasar salad, no this no that. I see things on BOTB and I am like, What???? I know things are different and I know that I ahve not done the reasearh on why certain food are a no-no, but my son is fine and I ate whatever I wanted.

8. If you child was cold, you put a blanket on him.

9. My son drank juice (what a horrible mom I am).

10. There were no boppy, bumbo chair, diaper gennie (well, this one was brand new), they did not have fancy car seats that clipped into a fancy carriage, my diaper bag was the free one from the hospital (best bag ever), wipe warmer meant that you rubbed your hands together before you touched the wipe, my swing was a swing that made this loud noise, not this sideways swinging thing that is so quiet.

11. Maternity clothes were the worst thing EVER! They all had this horrible circular collar - yes, even in the nice expensive stores all the shirts were the same. Trendy and Maternity were never in the same sentence.

12. Pregnant girls would never show their belly and would NEVER had done pregnany photo shoots.

13. Formula feeding was considered the norm. It was weird to breastfeed.

14. Only your coach was in the room with you. And the delivery room was not this semi-private room. It was just a delivery room, where you and 4-6 other women were delivering also. You would NEVER has your mom, your MIL, your cousins ex-girlfriend, your Best Friends Husband, etc in the room.

15. My son had bumpers in his crib.

16. My son LOVED his walker. We actually put plexiglass (sp) over a french door so he could crash into it without getting hurt.

17. The internet did not exist, you got your information by actually talking to your doctor or buy buying a book (gasp)

18. I probaby had lunch meat every day.

19. I colored my hair - probably twice.

20. my son actually played in the dirt!!! Probably had many worms in his mouth and he is still alive!!! Yes I washed his hands, I probably even used some soap at times, but I never prevented him from playing in the dirt and never followed him with antibacterial gel.

21.It was the norm not to find out the sex of the child.

22. Pain Medicine was the norm. Most doctors would just give this to you, you had to specificlly request NOT to have pain meds.

23. His "jumperoo" was a cloth like seat that was attached to a spring that had a clasp on it. The clasp hung from a door way. He loved it!!!!

I am sure that there are tons more because I come across it all the time. I always think to my self - I never did any of that, etc.

I am not flaming anyone or the way they treat their pregnancy or how they raise their child, I am just stating that it is VERY different from 13 years ago.

My son is a very healthy, well adjusted 12 1/2 year old. I was a single mom for 11 of those 12 years and I think he turned out GREAT!

Day One

I have tried this blogging thing so many times. I post for about a week and then never again. I actually deleted 3 blogs under this e-mail address. One I started about 4 years ago. There was one post, how lame is that.

I was thinking about making separate blogs for different topics (raising a tween, trying to get pregnant, fixing up our house, etc) but if I can't maintain one blog, how the heck can I do multiple????

Anyway, I hope this will be the first post of many.