Long Post - part 3

This will be the final part of the long posts - I will try to just jump to now (2008).

OK - Over the past several years we have had a tutor for Colin. I am not 100% sure that it really worked. But, it told Colin that we were serious about his school work and was something that we had to do.

When we moved to NJ I thought this would be the perfect time to have a fresh start. Colin had just finished 5th grade in NY and been having such a hard time - socially, education wise, etc

I spoke to the new school and asked if we could just keep him in the 5th grade. A couple of reasons:

1) I thought is would be the perfect time - nobody knew him so would not know that he got "held back"

2) He was young - so again, no one would know that he did not belong in the 5th grade

3) He was small - again, no one would question it.

I got the same response (AGAIN) - his test scores to not warrant him repeating the same grade.

So, let's get to middle school. His school uses this program called K12 Planet. Basically what it is is an on-line program that lists all his classes, all his assignments, all his grades.

You are thinking, "Wow, what a great tool". This is good and bad. If Colin was doing some of the assignments, or doing OK on tests, well, then I would get his report card and say "an 80 - good, but I know you can do better"

But, instead, I see missing homeworks, assignments that are not handed in, test scores. So, when I see that he gets a 100 on several tests, and then has 4 missing homeworks - it is really apparent why he has a 75 average in the class.

Any missing homeworks are an automatic score of 0. His school has a policy in place that homework must be handed in on the date it is due. If returned late, there is no partial credit.

So, I have been using K12 planet to check up on Colin's progress.

It is always the same arguement - "Colin, why are you not handing in homework" - "Why are you lying to me when I ask if you have any homework" - "Can't you see that the only reason you are failing is because of homework".

I try to explain to him that if you get 100's on tests but get 0's on homework that you can possibly do very bad in the class.

We have this conversation about every 2-3 weeks, after every progress report, after every report card.

Every month I have to send a letter to each teacher asking for the assignments that he is missing. I know he will not get credit for them (school policy) - but I still WANT THEM DONE!

I am at my witts end - I can't keep having this conversation.

About Feb of last year I told him that he was not going to get to the 8th grade - that his grades were too bad and his attitude towards school was not any better.

He did in fact get to the 8th grade.

Now, I don't think that he will EVER make it in High School. High school will swallow him whole.

We have an appointment with his guidance counselor on Tuesday to discuss everything again. I doubt I will get anywhere. I have had the same conversation with the counselor as well. Nothing is ever done. The last time we had a meeting, I wanted him re-evaluated - I was told that he is probably just lazy and that the testing process is a long one.

Right now Colin is failing 3 classes - so it is possible that he will fail 8th grade all on his own.

I know I totally skipped a few years but it is the same story over and over again so I guess I would just be repeating myself.

So, there it is - probably something that I NEVER thought I would share with the general public. Mainly because I think it makes me look like a bad mom.

Who knows - the posts may be deleted.

Thanks for reading if you read this far :)

Long Post ---- Part 2

Another warning - this will be a long post. I am not even sure if I will finish the whole thing in this post.

So - Colin was evaluated through his school for all types of learning disabilities.

He scored a 32 on the scale that measures dyslexia. But, if you read below, you would see that this is "normal" - even though all his other scores were in the 90's.

So, the school told me that if I had him evaluated privately and got different results the would have to honor these results.

Now, keep in mind, these tests and evaluations take a long time. So, from the time that I wrote the first letter to the results was MONTHS!

So, I decided to have him evaulated on our own. I tried to get an EI evaluation, but at this point he was too old.

So, I went to his doctor who recommended a neurologist. Well, this would not be covered under my medical insurance. I had to pay $2500 out of my own pocket. $2500 is a lot of money for a single mom who is struggling to make ends meet.

I can't really tell you where I got the money. Maybe I just got my tax return or something - but I paid for it.

We got almost the IDENTICAL results that the school did. All the scores were +/- 1 or 2.

So, for the test that measures dyslexia - well he got a 31 this time.

There was nothing for me to do (through the school system that is).

So, since the school could do nothing, I found a reading tutor for Colin. This tutor was a Special Education teacher in another school district. But, she was very familar with the course guide of our school.

She worked with him on his writing skills, tried teaching some phonics, did test prep, etc. She even did "therapy" to correct his handwriting. This tutor also gave me some advice on how to help him with school.

Colin went to this tutor for years! Now, even though I could not get any help from the school, I did my own research on dyslexia and dysgraphia. And, I worked with Colin one on one outside of what the tutor was doing.

But, (and these is where I sound like a horrible mom) I worked a full time job. So, I did not have lots and lots of time to work with him. It would only be about 1/2 - 1 hour a day. It was all that I could do.

Again, throughout each grade, he spent the entire year trying to catch up to the rest of his grade. He received passing grades, and "average" scores on his standardized tests. Never enough to hold him back.

In 4th grade he was part of a program in school. I can't remember the name. But, it would pull kids out of class and have a reading program in a small group. Colin did not have an IEP - this was available to any student that the teacher thought needed some extra help.

I talked to the teachers about holding him back. He was obviously behind the other kids, he was small, he was kind of immature. I did not think that it would really be such a big deal.

Well, none of the teachers would reccommend him to repeat the year. He is where the "he is such a sweet boy" is presented over and over again.

His teachers said that his scores and grades did not warrent a repeat year. Really???? He tries his absolute hardest and he is just an average student? And I am not saying that average is not good enough. It is hard to explain. I can't type what I really mean.

He is a smart kid - really smart. He can recite things about animals that I have never heard of. He can tell an amazing story that is so imaginative that he could be a movie. He can create poetry. He can memorize anything that he heard just once. He can do complex math problems in his head.

Do you see a pattern? Read it again.

None of what I wrote is in written form. It is all in his head.

That is enough for now. If you have read both posts to the end - Thank you for reading

This will be a long post....

I really needed a major hug today. This post is probably going to much more information than I ever thought I would share. But, I really need to get it out.

I may delete the entire thing....who knows.

I do want to ask that no one comments on this post....I know I am a good mother and I know things will work out....

Let's see, where to start (again - this will be long and will probably jump around ALOT)

Colin is born on Nov 1st. The cut-off for school in our state (at the time) was December 31. But, if I lived in the next state over, then Colin would miss the cut-off for school by 2 hours. Yup, I said 2 hours. In most parts of the next state, the cut-off to start school ins Oct 31. Well, Colin was born at 2 in the morning - so missing the cut-off by 2 hours.

OK - let's back up a little. Colin did not start speaking until he was 3 years old. Back then there really was not EI. And I really did not think about it too much. He is a late speaker - big deal. He got by just fine. I knew he understood me.

He was in Kindergarten at 4 years 10 months. Well, it was brought to my attention that the school does not use phonics to teach the kids to read. They use a program called "whole word". Well, it was apparent that Colin did not do too well with whole word. And because this was the way he was taught, he really did not know phonics either.

I noticed that by the end of kindergarten, he was not reading yet. It seemed that based on the items hanging in the classroom that the other kids were reading and writing at a much higher level.

Colin has ALWAYS been a super sweet boy. So, I think his teachers let him get away with certain things because he is a really sweet little boy.

When Colin did start reading, he would always substitute words. It is hard to explain, he would get the idea of the sentence and then just use a word that started the same. It was like he was trying to figure out from memory what the whole word was. As an example (off the top of my head), would be a sentence like: "On Sunday, my father and I went to the park" He would read out loud and say, "On Sunday, my father and I went to a picnic" Yes, in this case, the sentence made sense - even though it is not the correct words. But this was not always the case.

I also noticed that he had really bad handwriting - I mean REALLY bad. When you actually paid attention, you noticed that he wrote the letter completely in the wrong order. Instead of starting letters and numbers at the top, he would start from the bottom, or the side and basically "re-create" the letter.

I brought this to the attention of the teacher, and she said it would be something that would self correct itself.

By third grade, it was really apparent that there was something that was totally off balance. It seemed like it took him the whole year just to catch up to everyone else. And he was constantly playing the "catch - up" game.

So, I wanted him evaluated by the school. I thought for sure there was a reason for all this. Now, keep in mind that again, he was always a sweet sweet boy.

We started with the evaluation with the school. They test for everything. IQ, ADD, Dyslexia, etc.

Well, at this time of the testing, his IQ measured at 145! Which is considered exceptional. In every area that tests for specific things, he measured in the 90-99 percent.

Well, that is witht the exception of one.

The test that measures dyslexia - well, he scored a 32. Yup, that is a 32 out of 100. I thought, "finally, we have an answer" Not exactly.

A score of 32 is still in the "normal" range. What??? I see you are confussed. As was I. You see, the test is on a bell curve. Which means that a score of 25-75 is considered "average".

A score of 32 would mean no services provided by the school system. A score of 32 means that since his IQ was so high that he was able to "trick" the results. A score of 32 means nothing.

This ends this post - I will add more later.

I am sorry this was so long