Sunday, December 20, 2009

Court Update

Lil J has been in care for 10 months now. We had court the other day. The court hearing was basically just to have on record certain things about the case.

Things like if his mom was working her plan, and if not where is was lacking. Also things like "new info" on the case, etc. It is basically a 5 minute hearing.

The 5 minute part is the most frustrating for me, since court was scheduled for 1 pm, and I was there until 5:30 before we got called. plus there was supossed to be a visit, for which mom did not show, so we were in that area since 11 am (left our house at 10am).

the judge is a pretty pro-child judge and does not take any BS from the bio parents. She was pissed that mom was not in court, especially since she was not in court the last time. she appeared by phone.

In addition to court, the state has a 10 month review of the case. At this time, the figure out where they think the case is going, detail any changes that are needed, and really put into record their observations on the case.

Well, since mom is not doing her plan (she is "trying" according to her and I loved it when the judge said, "well, trying and doing are 2 different things lol), and since she has gotten herself into additional trouble - well, they are looking to change visits to once every other week, instead of 1x a week.

plus, they will be officially changing the plan from reunificition/concurrent planning to adoption! Just because the plan changes does not mean that it will go to adoption. Once the plan is actually changed, the mom still has time to do her plan, but her plan requires some long term things, non of which have even been started.

Once the plan is changed, then we will be given an adoption caseworker.

We have to submit a letter asap stating our formal intent to adopt. I am sure it will be hard to write. We have to state our reasons for wanting to adopt him, and must also state the reasons why we SHOULD adopt him.

To have everything on paper and on record is a big step. Just wanted to share our update :)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Is she named after anyone?

I have gotten that question (no joke) about a dozen times already. From doctors, nurses, strangers in the store, staff in the hospital, relatives, etc, etc.

I guess because Cora Evelyn is an "older" name, people just assume that she has to be named after someone.

But - nope, she is not named after anyone.

This is the story of her name:

We had a hard time picking names. We pretty much had our boy's name right from the start. We knew a boy would be named after my husband. But, the girl's name we had trouble with.

I like older traditional sounding names for girls. We wanted a "different" name, but not a weird name. Also wanted something that people would know how to spell, and pronounce.

So, we looked up the SS# Index from random years from about 100 years ago. The list starts in 1879, so I knew we could get some good options. That said, there are names on there that I would NEVER consider using - very old lady names. But, I knew we would get some to put on the list.

The names on our list were names from a variety of years. None were too popular, even back then. We had maybe 7 names on the "list" and all of them were older names, but also names that could seem modern.

Here are the other names: Adele, Aubrey, Estelle, Estella, Sylvia, Cora, Evelyn - and maybe one or two more that I can't remember.

It is possible that we may still use those names in the future if we have another baby, or we may get a totally new list :)

I guess I will have to get used to the question, "So, is she named after anyone?"

Friday, December 4, 2009

Merry Christmas from Cora

I took a few pics of the little kids the other day. Cora really was not too happy, but I did get a few good shots. Got a BUNCH of great ones of Lil J - but those I can not share.

Here are just a sample of the one's I got of Cora. I will probably attempt to take more by the tree and in her Christmas dress. But, we will see.

I want to send out christmas cards, I guess I should get on that.







Monday, November 30, 2009

Cora's Baptism

We had Cora's Baptism this weekend. It was really nice. After church we had a small luncheon with immediate family at a local catering place. The food was great and everything went well.

Last week, I had some pics taken in her dress. The dress is the same dress that all my sisters and I wore. In fact, Colin wore the same dress 15 years ago for his baptism.

We also had a friend who is a freelance photographer take pictures yesterday - I will post those when I get them.

But, here are a few shots from last week







Friday, November 27, 2009

I am thankful

Yes, I know - Thanksgiving was yesterday. But, for me, it is more fitting that I post this blog post today.

Today is November 27th. This day last year is when I had loss number 4. It was an unmedicated cycle, which I could not believe. I was pregnant after over 2 years of trying. Pregnant on my own. At this point, positive pregnancy tests really did not mean that much to me anymore. I had had 3 losses up to that point, and I was almost not believing that it could be possible.

It is at this point that we had already started the fost/adopt process. In fact, we had just finished our PRIDE classes just a few days before.

While we were excited to start our family through fost/adopt, the thought of being pregnant on my own was just wonderful. Of course that feeling was short lived and I can honestly say it was a really low point in my life. Loss number 4. 4th loss in 8 months. 4th of 5 losses in 2008. How could things be so unfair.

BUT - it is because of those losses that I have what I have today. I have a beautiful family, one I would not have if I did not have loss after loss. Yes, I would have had a baby - maybe even another one by now. But, I would not have Lil J, or Cora. It is THEM that makes my family what it is today, one year later.

On Nov 27 of 2008, I would never have thought that I would have yet another loss, or would have a great 3 yr old, or that I would EVER have Cora.

So many things have changed in my life since last year. I am so grateful for my family and I am so very thankful for them. They are my world.

Monday, November 23, 2009

My cute girl

I am a blogger slacker - sorry. Anyway, we have been putting Cora under this playmat thing for weeks. She would usually just stare at the things and kick her legs.

But, now she is actually grabbing stuff and trying to actually kick the things. She makes herself smile and kinda giggle.

She is also starting to babble TONS. Just thought I would share. It is not exciting, sorry.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Cora is 2 Months!

Sorry, this is a little late.  But, Cora turned 2 months on Friday.  We went to the docs today and she is a chunker!  She gained 4.5 pounds and grew 2.5 inches.

She is now 11 pounds 7 oz and is 22.5 inches long.

Here are some pics from her 2 month "photo shoot"








Monday, November 9, 2009

I guess someone is watching LOL

Make sure your sound is all the way up, the sound is not that great.

This is what we just heard on Lil J's monitor. You can hear us laughing in the background - too funny :)

Friday, November 6, 2009

Cora - 1-7 Weeks

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Got some good news yesterday

Lil J's case worker has changed yet again. this is number 3 since march.

Short Story:
Spoke to new CW, she will recommend adoption at the 10 month review!

Long Story:
I spoke to the new worker yesterday and went over some of the case details. There has been a lot going on with his mom and wanted to make sure we were on the same page.

In our state, each case has to be reviewed at the 10 month mark and it the actual plan for the child must be on record. Lil J has been in care since Feb (with us since march) so, 10 months would be Dec.

In our state, there could be 3 possible plans indicated:

1 - reunification. After this review, the child would make the transition to go back home. In this case, it is CLEAR that the bio parent(s) have done everything they can and followed all the rules, etc, etc, and there is no question that the child would be best if returned.

2 - concurrent planning. In this case, bios may have done some of their things, but still need more time to do everything. the caseworker may be unsure if the child will be returned to the bios.

3 - Adoption. this can be the plan for several reasons. If the bios have done nothing and basically abandoned their child (have not visited and have not contacted caseworkers). the bios could be doing a very small part of their court order and the worker feels a though they will not do anything (or enough) to get the kids back. There can be changes in the case that make reunification difficult. The caseworker is pretty sure that the kids will not go back

But, just because adoption is "declared', it does not mean that the bios still can't work their plan. but they would have to do a lot in a short amt of time. time lines get extended all the time.

Well - the 10 months is in December and his case worker is going to recommend adoption. His mom has not only NOT been following her court order at all (except for visits), but she has gotten herself into additional legal trouble (pretty bad stuff) . All of these things kinda only point in one way.

The caseworker explained this to his mom, told her that adoption was going to be her recommendation, etc, etc. the mom seemed indifferent about it. She also has been down this road 2x before, so it is not like she does not know how the system works.

So, yay for us! The CW had to confirm that we are interested in adopting him. Because if we weren't then after the review, he would be moved to a pre-adoptive home. Of course it will still be a very long while. But, we are excited (for us) that things might go towards adoption.

I do feel bad for his mom, she has some really serious issues in her life, issues that are never good for anyone.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

We have H1N1 in our house :(

Lil J is SOO sick. He woke up this morning with a 104.5 fever and a bad cough. We threw him in the tub and gave him motrin.

This was at 6:45 this morning. The doc does not open until 9am.

He was bad, he had the shakes, and was barking like a dog. He has very loose stools yesterday, but I thought that was from all the treats from halloween.

Well, Cora gets up at 8am and she is hot too! I unwrapped her from her swaddle, and changed and fed her. After a half hour, she was still hot to me. I took her temp - it was 100.3. And, the doctor's is still not open :(

the doc finally opens and I call and tell them what is going on. They had me come in around noon - but only to check on Lil J. Said that Cora's fever is not really a fever until 100.4.

We went in and by this time it was a few hours after the motrin. I did not want to give him more before the recommended dosage chart without seeing the doc first.

Well, when they took his temp, it was already back up to 102.5. It had gone down a little in the am (not lower than 100 though). He looked horrible. Bloodshot eyes, red ears, and his little voice saying "mommy, i don't feel well" over and over again.

The doc came in and said, "Wow, Someone is not feeling well"

Well, the combination of the super high fever, the shakes, the cough, the loose stool, the sore thoat, he determined that he has probable H1N1.

The office does not do any type of test, because the treatment is the same. Since we do not have a full medical history and because we have a newborn at home, he decided that he should be treated with TamiFlu. We also have to continue with the motrin.

Well, while we were there, they took Cora's temp. Before they did, the doc said that anything over 100.4 needs to be addressed asap - probably at the hospital!!!!!

This got me so nervous! So, they took her temp ----- and it was 100.5 OMG!!!! I am starting to freak out. In the next 30-60 seconds, they take it a few times. It was 99.9, 100.3, 100.1.

so, because it was just that one random reading they are not doing anything. I have to watch her (like a hawk!!!) and if she has temps over 100.4 for more than an hour I have to call - no matter what time of day or night.

We get home and Lil J is just miserable. He looks so sick, and you can really tell that he is because he is quiet (lol). He is sleeping on the floor in the living room because he still has a high fever. we gave motrin again at 6:30 and his temp was 103.5 at that point. He went back in the tub and even after that it was only down to 102.5. It has been going down a teeny bit each hour.

So sad - he keeps waking up crying for me.

So far, Cora has not had any fever, although she feels really hot.

We are in for a long night.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

6 Week Check Up

So, I had my 6 week post delivery appointment today. Without looking, I don't remember if I added the fact that I hated my doc to my birth story. I don't think I added it, because I just wanted to get past it. Thinking maybe I just did not like her and to just let it go.

Anyway, they did all the standard stuff. I am super proud to say that I am 27 pounds less than my pre-pregnancy weight. I only gained 8 pounds during my pregnancy - not on purpose, and my doctor said it was fine. I was bigger to begin with. Turns out, I was probably losing weight and gaining pregnancy weight at the same time.

It was pretty cool to see the scale say that I was 35 pounds lighter than my last appointment there - yipee.

And before anyone asks - I have no idea how that actually happened. But, my guess it had something to do with the fact that I was getting sick so much when changing Lil J (thank goodness he did not take my entire pregnancy to potty train), I was eating better, and the whole gallbladder thing made me eat MUCH better. Like I said, I was losing and gaining at the same time.

I knew I had lost a lot of weight. A few days after delivery, I was wearing my pre-pregnancy pants, and then about a week later, those pants were totally falling off. Plus a lot of my non-maternity clothes were HUGE. It was nice to have an actual number for it.

So, back to the annoying, I don't like this doctor, stuff.

I go to a practice with about 5-6 doctors. There was 1 doc that I really did not like. She was abrupt and kinda rude, and just did not seem to care about patients. I knew that I only had about a 20% chance of getting this doc for delivery.

Well, what would you know - she was the only one on call the day I had Cora. Whatever, I knew she was only gonna be there to "catch".

I won't get into details - but she was horrible. People that were there could vouch for me.

I had to have her for my follow-up. Fine, again I am trying to not worry about it. I have bigger things to worry about.

She asks about birth control. At this point, I tell her that not only will we not be using any, but we will be trying ASAP (AKA - starting today lol). She goes on to tell me that I should wait 2 years. I explained that I am not getting any younger, and reminded her that it took over 2 years to get successfully pregnant after 5 losses.

She kept saying that I should wait, that I should take time to enjoy my baby, that there was no need to rush, etc. And because I don't really like her to begin with, it seemed like everything she said was said in a negative way.

I asked her if there was any medical complications of getting pregnant so soon after (assuming I can get pregnant), and her answer was just "I am just telling you my recommendation to wait 2 years and I will write it in your file that I told you to wait" Whatever. She could not give me a medical reason to wait.

I told her I wanted an Rx for Prometrium. In the past, I know my P4 was very low. I figured if I was to get pregnant, I wanted to start taking the Rx as soon as I know I am pregnant. My dose was increased with Cora's pregnancy, and I really think it was the thing that kept me pregnant.

I told her my dose and the med name and she did NOT want to give it to me. She said that if and when I got pregnant, they would give it to me then. I told her that I would start taking it as soon as I got a BFP, especially since it is not like I would be able to get a same day appointment for a beta/P4.

She really did not want to give it to me. She finally gave it and I left with it.

She then asked if I would at least give it a few months before I try. No deal. She said, "ok, you will do what you want I guess"

Nice lady, huh???

Anyway, everything is A-OK and will are officially trying. I guess I should get my period first, but that is just a technicality

Friday, October 23, 2009

The Great Pine Cone Hunt

Our neighbor has a big pine tree in their yard, which means we get lots of pine cones in our yard. Lil J was on the hunt for pinecones yesterday.

We spent a while hunting for pine cones and chasing squirels. He would get so excited when he found a pine cone. I found it funny because he would totally step over pinecones on the ground to find others. It was cute.

He is getting so big, I can't believe that he has been with us for over 7 months already! Wow, time flies so fast.

























































Thursday, October 22, 2009

Cupcake Bites - take 2

See Previous Post about attempt #1.

I bought another mold which was a little bigger than the ones I got the other day. It was a different brand - I did not do it on purpose. I also got what I thought was pink sprinkles, but they are, in fact, lavender. Oh well LOL

Take 2 went much better, I used the "spiral" method to put the top on the cupcake bites. I do think it looks much better. The Brown Chocolate melts much better than the pink, so it did not spiral as nicely, but I still think it looks better than the other day. You can see that I used the smaller molds on the pink bottoms - the larger mold (and larger balls) look much better in my opinion.

I have white candies as well. I will probably make some with white tops, brown tops and pink tops. The sugar sprinkles are more down to scale than try 1 as well.

I always have random craft supplies around the house, so I put 3 bites in a cellophane bag and tired a simple bow. The ribbon was what I had around the house - but I will probably use a wider pink ribbon. I added the sticker, not really sure if it is needed though.

I have added some new pictures - what do you think of try #2?





Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Cupcake bites

Ok - so Cora's Baptism is coming up and have started to think of favors. I know not everyone does favors, but I like to do something little, and usually something that people can eat.

I started doing some looking around and found "Cupcake Bites" They are all aver the internet, but I am pretty sure that they started with Bakrella. You can go to her site (LOVE IT) for the directions and other pictures.

I thought that these would be cute and did not seem too hard to make. I bought the supplies and did a test run today. I wanted to make sure that I could practice and know ahead of time if it was a pain in the ass.

They were really easy to make, and they did get better looking after I made a few. I know that these do NOT look like most of the sample pics that I found. I just could not get my chocolate smooth enough. I saw one person used a squeeze bottle and then spiraled the chocolate as the icing. I did not have a squeeze bottle, but I could see how it could look better. Plus I probably would not use the big sprinkles that I have, would probably use the non-pareil type, or maybe fine sugar crystals.

Since it is candy, I know I can just put a few in a cellophane bag with a nice ribbon. I am still not 100% sure this is how I want to go - we will see.

Oh - and the guys LOVED it. Even Lil J wanted more and more bites. He was in charge of putting the sprinkles on top.

Here are some pics, I guess the close-up makes it seems like they are big cupcakes, but they are really bite size. Maybe 1.5 inches high?

SOOOO - what do you think?









Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Cora is one month today :)

My little sweetie is one month old today. We celebrated by going to see her daddy at work today. I am sure he was overwhelmed, as EVERY woman in his office was crowed in his office. You KNOW he has never gotten that much attention before LOL.

She is doing well, our family is adjusting (read that as Lil J is getting better with her lol). Of course, she is only a month old, but we are trying to figure out a routine. Even if that means knowing how she likes things, doing things the same way so that she can learn that certain things mean something else will follow.

I am not looking forward to the cold weather though, we have gotten a few tastes of it this past week, and I really don't like having to figure out how to keep her warm. Bulky jackets or buntings are out. So, I have been putting her in a cardigan sweater and a hat, and then putting 2 blankets on top. It is a very short walk to the car. So, I am pretty sure she is warm enough.

I am sure as the weather gets much colder, I will figure something else out - I do have a b.undle me, but it is not cold enough for that yet.

She is doing great at night. She does get up, but she can go 4 - 4.5 hours, and she usually feeds around 11 or 12, so really, she is just getting up once a night. Plus, she goes RIGHT back to sleep. Which is great!!!! She also sleeps for a 2-3 hours stretch every afternoon. So, even if we have a semi rough night, I know that I can get some sleep when she takes her afternoon nap.

Totally hoping that she will continue taking the afternoon nap, because Lil J takes an afternoon nap and it would be great if they were on a similar schedule.

So - enough writing - here are some pics from this morning.












Monday, October 12, 2009

Sorry no new posts for a while

Could you imagine - I am busy with a newborn - the nerve of me not to update my blog. LOL

I am actually stealing a subtopic from a blog that I read, since I knew I wanted to bring it up. Thanks Leah :)

The topic - MORE children.

My husband and I have NO intention of using any birth control at all after we get the clearance to have "relations" again. In fact, after I get the clearance, we will actually start trying for another baby. And by trying, right now that will just be OPKs and timed intercourse. We will probably not just "wing it" even though I know that my cycles will probably be out of whack, or non-existent.

I am not niave to think that it will happen right away, if at all. But, I am also not niave to think that it CAN'T happen right away. It took us more than 2 years to have a successful pregnancy. BUT, I did that without any medical intervention at all. So, it is possible that I could have that happen again.

We will not use medical treatments at all in the future to help acheive a pregnancy, but you know damn sure that I will use any and all medical intervention to help me STAY pregnant.

We want more children - end of story. We have not set a certain time line on anything. But, we will open our fost/adopt file again in the future if we think a pregnancy will not happen.

I hate the last line of the previous paragraph. Why? It seems like the fost/adopt is second choice. Now, while the process might be after we try on our own, a child would never be considered a second choice child. Not sure if I am explaining that well.

We have even considered not trying for another bio child, and going straight with the state. We would probably try to do straight adoption, which we are licensed for. This would eliminate the "what if" crap that we have to deal with Lil J. We still have no idea where his case stands, and to be honest - it is hard not knowing.

But, I do want to try to get pregnant again. Maybe it is because I am "advanced maternal age", maybe I just want to find out if it is even possible. Who knows?

I know many will say that I should just count my blessings. But, not having any more children is just not an option. We WILL have more kids, just not sure where they will come from :)

Monday, October 5, 2009

She WAS worth the wait....

I have started this post several times, even had it written out in my head. But, I have deleted so many times. It is so hard to put into word how I feel that "She was worth the wait"

I will try to explain below, but for now, here is her Birth Announcement, I did write "She was worth the wait" on the top. Oh, I I think the pic is super cute :)





















OK, how do I explain that she really was worth the wait. We have had a crappy history trying to get and stay pregnant.

How do I say that I am happy how things turned out? How do I say that without our crappy year in 2008, I would not have my beautiful baby, or Lil J.

How do I explain that things happen for a reason, without making it sound like I do not mourn my lost babies?

Of course if I was able to keep even one of my previous pregnancies, I would have a baby, but that baby would not be Cora. Especially since I know that at least one of those babies was a boy.

I am almost tempted to delete this post as well, I can't seem to get what I want to say out. I can't stand the term "things happen for a reason" like I am not suposed to be sad or angry about my losses, as I now have a perfect healthy baby. But, it is kinda true.

Maybe I will delete this post, or edit it, or just leave the announcement. I guess no one will understand how I feel, unless they have been there.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

More Pics

EDIT: I totally did not realize that the slide show had music on it - so I am going to delete it for now, and then I will add some pics again later.

I guess I always have my speakers off.

I guess having a newborn and a toddler really takes up some time :) I have not had a second to update my blog on a regular basis - sorry for that. but, to make up for it, here are some pics of my beutiful girl. I took my own announcement pics, which I had so many ideas for - yeah, those ideas went out the window - but I did get some shots that were good enough.

Once I mail the announcement, I will share them here :)

Friday, September 25, 2009

My Birth Story

I know Cora is almost 2 weeks old, but I wanted to share her birth story. It is not too exciting, but nice to have written down.

I can give you the quick birth story:

10:45 - Water Broke
12:30 - Got to hospital (4cm)
2:00 - Remaining water broke (5cm)
4:30 - Epi
5:00 - 7cm
5:30 - 10cm
6:31 - Cora born

And the long story:

Sunday 9/13
10:45 AM - my water broke in the grocery store (not kidding). I was just about to check out, so since it was not a gush, i checked out with what I had. I know this sounds so funny. But, it takes me a long time to do it, and I knew people would be in my house. And they would NOT be happy if there was no food.

I called my husband from the store, he was about to leave for golf. I am sure his friend was pissed about not going lol.

I had to go home, try to figure out if it was actually my water breaking, or maybe I just peed my pants haha. Plus, although everything was in one spot, I had to offically pack my bag. Plus, I had to figure out what was happening with Lil J.

We did some last minute things around the house - and yes, I took a shower. I got to the hospital at 12:30.

12:30 PM - I got to the hospital and went to triage. The doc was there at that point and I was checked. I still was not sure if it was my water or not.

She did an exam, determined that it was my water, and that I was already 4 cm dilated. WOW!

I had to get an IV antibiotic since I tested + for Group B Strep, this was done in the triage room. After that was done, they wanted me to walk the halls. But, first they wanted to get me to a room and break the rest of my water.

2PM - got into a room at 2pm, and they broke my water and checked me again. They had to break it again since I had a high leak. I was 5 cm at that point. I was in no pain, but wanted to make sure I knew I could get the epi until a certain point. The nurse told me that I could get one upto about 8 cm or so. I figured I had some time, so I decided to wait to get it.

I started to walk the halls at 2:30 with instuctions to be back around 3:15 (ish)

Well, by 3:00, I was having contractions right on top on each other and I knew I wanted the epi. We got back to the room and told the nurse I wanted the epi. I had to have a whole bag of fluid before they would give it to me, so I had to wait. The wait seemed like forever. Of course add in that the nurses were changing shift, etc. The IV was not started for a while, so I had to just deal with the contractions.

4:30 PM, the nurse noticed that my IV did something (infiltrated?) and I had to have a new one, it took about 1/2 hour to do all the prep, etc for the epi.

5PM, finally at 5PM, the epi was in - so about 1.5 hours after I requested it. I was checked at that point and I was 7 cm. I am so glad I got that epi, because all of a sudden, I was having extreme amounts of pressure. Not pain. But pressure.

5:30 PM - since I was having so much pressure, and I guess there were drops in heartrate, I was checked again. YUP - 10 cm!!!!! I went from 7 to 10 in less than 1/2 hour. I did some practice pushing. Basically pushing for 2-3 minutes, break for 10 minutes.

6:25 PM - Major pressure, MUST.PUSH.NOW lol. doc called in, 3-4 pushes later, Cora was born at 6:31 PM

So, that is the long and short of it.

I could add some not so nice details - things about the doctor being a total ass, or some TMI info - but I will leave it as is - don't want to ruin a great story :)

Monday, September 21, 2009

More Pics of Cora

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

It's a ..........

GIRL!!!

I had my baby on Sept 13, 2009 at 37 weeks 3 days. I will share my quick birth story soon. But I just wanted to share some pics and stats!

I can't believe she is here.

It's a GIRL
Cora Evelyn was born on Sept 13th at 6:30 pm
She weighed 7 pounds and .8 ounces
She was 20.5 inches long

Here are a few pictures :)













Friday, September 11, 2009

6 Months

Today marks 6 months that Lil J has been with us. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

I had met Lil J the day before. His previous foster mother just could not keep the placement. He was only with her for about a week, but due to other family circumstances, it just was not a good placement for her or her family.

I found out about Lil J through a support network for foster and adoptive families - AKA, a message board. His previous foster mother was trying really hard to find a placement for Lil J. She did not want to just put him back into the system...but rather find someone that she "knew".

We had only been licensed for a VERY short while, and of course were looking forward to getting "the call". The room was ready, our house was prepared. We just needed THE call.

When I first found out about Lil J, I must admit that I was unsure if this would be a good placement for us. I thought maybe it was possible the the previous foster mother was trying to sugar coat Lil J to make it easier for her to find him a new home.

But, it seemed right to me. After getting lots of info, I agreed to meet Lil J. I went with a coloring book, crayons, and a few cars. Yes - I was trying to win him over. We played and colored for a few hours. I knew instantly that we would love to have him in our home. It actually got me upset when it was time to leave, especially when Lil J said, "No, don't leave"

I called his caseworker to advise her that we "wanted him" - I know, that makes him sound like a puppy. But, that is really the way it was. There was paperwork that had to be done, so she said it might be a while.

But, to our surprise, we got the call the very next day. He was coming that same day. I was actually in the car, driving a friend to the airport, when I got the call. I was just so excited, that I missed the exit lol.

Paperwork still needed to be done, but I guess the caseworker did not want to wait much longer to get him to his new home.

I waited and waited for what seemed like forever. I peaked out the window every few minutes. Barely went to the bathroom, in fear that I would not hear the knock on the door.

He finally got here and I met them at the car. Lil J recognized me from the day before and had a big smile on his face. A smile covered in chocolate munchkin. I took him out of the car, and he gave me a HUGE squeeze. My heart sank a little in the moment.

I walked him up the stairs to our front door, and opened the door. He FLEW up the stairs looking for his room. And, was thrilled to find his Mickey Room, just waiting for him (I found out some of his favorite things while in conversation with his previous foster mother).

I was shocked about the actual process though. His case worker gave me a simple piece of paper that said I was his foster mother, gave me her card, and then handed me a bag. The bag had about 10 diapers (pull-ups), a pack of wipes, and a set of PJs. That is correct. He basically came with the clothes on his back. Lucky for me, I had been collecting stuff for a while before we were even licensed.

And, that was it. He walked into my house and settled in my heart.

So much has changed (for the better) in the last 6 months with Lil J. I really can not remember how my day was before he was here. We all love him so very much.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

37 Week Appointment

I had my repeat growth scan and standard 37 week appointment today. This post may have some TMI in it - don't say I did not warn you.

Growth Scan:
I was anxious about the growth scan. The baby has consistently measured in the high percentages. Yes, I know - they can be off, etc. But scan after scan basically showed the same measurements and high percentages. I was getting nervous about a vaginal delivery and a super big gigantic baby.

At my last scan 3 weeks ago, the baby measured a little over 6 pounds (1 oz over). They were thinking that today the baby would weigh close to 8 pounds. At that rate, the baby would be close to 9-10 pound range at full term. YUP - that made me nervous.

Well, today, the baby only measured just under 7 pounds. It was a different tech than all the other times, I hope that is why it did not measure large. Plus, the tech said that the head (one area that they measure) was very low and hard to get a great measurement on it.

I was actually concerned about the "lack" of growth. It made me nervous that the baby only gained less than a pound in 3 weeks. It went from measuring in the 75-85% to only measuring in the 50%. I spoke to the doc about my concerns, and she said it was totally normal for a baby to "slack off" a bit at the end if they started growing earlier.

The doc also said that everything else looked great and she was not concerned about the drop in percentage. Plus, she did also reminded me that it could be off, different techs, position of the baby, etc, etc

We are still doing a scheduled induction - if I make it that far.

The Exam
I have gotten pretty used to the internal exams. Yeah, they are uncomfortable, but what are you gonna do???

The doc asks about contractions, etc - which I tell her have gotten stronger and painful in the past week or so. I can't believe that I have had non-stop braxton hicks contractions for months now.

So, she does her exam and says, "well, those contractions are actually doing something now".... "you have already started to dilate". Yes, I know that, I have been at 1 for a few weeks now.

NOPE - I am over 2cm dilated! She said almost 2.5! I know I can stay at 2 for a long time, but I was thrilled that I had made some progress. Then she tells me that I am already 50% effaced. Again, all good news.

Then she proceeds to tell me that she doubts that I will make it to my appointment next week. Wowza :)

After the appointment:
After she did her exam, she told me that I will definitely spot, and it was due to the exam. OK, no bid deal.

I decided to go to CVS and buy some panty-liners so that I don't ruin my pants. I had some time to kill as I was meeting my husband and the kids for another appointment in the area. I went to CVS, got what I needed, plus a magazine, etc.

I went to a store across the street and to my totally surprise - I was BLEEDING. Not spotting. But, blood all over my underwear, all over my pants, down my leg, everywhere. And after I got over my shock and wiped, there were HUGE clots the size of quarters.

I started to freak out. I cleaned myself up. I actually took off my pants and "washed" them in the sink and then used the hand dryer to dry them. Thank goodness my shirt was super long.

I called the doc of course. She basically told me that more than likely it is my mucus plug. And that if the bleeding continued to be heavy for a couple of hours, that I should call them back.

By the time I got home, the bleeding has basically stopped and it is just minor spotting.

Losing your plug could be the start of labor, or it could be NOTHING! But, it is a step in the right direction.

So, needless to say - my bag will be packed TODAY :) I will post some 3D pics below this post as soon as I scan them tonight.

And....we have a name :)

Let me tell ya - picking a name has been HARD! Between not being able to find something, not agreeing, and then just not committing, it has just taken forever.

I put a "deadline" on my husband of today and we decided last night.

I just could not believe the rush of emotions that swept over me. I was so excited to have a definate decision and I LOVE the name.

We went back and forth with certain names, loving them, hating them, etc. Then names would come up out of the blue and they would become the favorites. Then change our mind again, etc etc. And we picked a name that WE love.

We have had a boy's name for about 4/5 months, and now we have a girl's name.

And, yup - I will be keeping everyone in suspense.

So, I just wanted to share how excited I am - yipee!!!!!

Monday, September 7, 2009

My sisters :)

I just wanted to share a cute pic of my sisters on the day of my shower. It is hard to pic one great pic when there are 5 people in a picture.

But, I think this one is pretty good.





Saturday, September 5, 2009

Baby Pool

I created a baby pool (look to your right) cause I thought it would be fun. There is no prize - just the satisfaction of the win :)

Some information - Although the due date is Oct 1st, I will be induced on Sept 25th if the baby does not come before that. You are lame if you pick Sept 25th as the date lol :)

No one thinks I will make it to that date, so the pool is really to pick a date before that. If I go to induction, I will be shocked.

So, take a guess.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

36 Week appointment

I am 36 weeks today - YIPEE!!!! I had my 36 weeks appointment yesterday. It was just a standard appointment, but I was able to talk to the doc about the size of the baby, etc.

I find it so funny that I am not up really any weight. I am up a total of 8 pounds. Where is the baby getting it's weight from???? Who the heck knows. The baby plus whatever comes along with it is more than I have gained. I did lose weight in the begining - so maybe that is where it is from.

Anyway, the appointment was fine. B/P was great too. We talked about the possibility of an induction. AND------ We actually scheduled it! He does not think I will make it to any induction date. Actually, he thinks I will go in the next 2 weeks!!!!

I have had a feeling that I would go early anyway, but to hear a doc say it was weird! He actually said he would "place bets" that I would deliver before the 16th! I guess I should finish my "list".

He did an internal, and I am where I have been a few weeks now. I am just over 1cm.

Since we are doing an induction (if I make it that far), and the baby is big, I was given all this paperwork that I had to sign that had all the "warnings" and "disclaimers" etc. Makes is so final.

We also had our hospital tour and our refresher birthing class. So much as changed in the last 15 years. Change for the better, which is a good thing.

So, if this baby does not come on it's own - I will be induced on Sept 25 (friday) starting at 8AM. So, we will see. I am still thinking it will be WAY before that :)

36 Weeks - Belly Pics

I seriously have not taken any belly pics. But this dress makes it so real that I have a big old belly.

I wish the pics of my face were better, but whatever.


















Monday, August 31, 2009

The view from up here

After gettting the accidental belly shot from yesterday, someone said that I should take some pictures from the same viewpoint.

Oh Boy - my belly is big. And, I really can't see my feet, I really had to tilt the camera to get that shot. Not sure why my feet look like they belong to a barbie doll lol.

And yes, I can not believe I am showing my bare belly. I had to delete all the pics that were total roadmaps (AKA lots and lots of visable stretchmarks).

It is safe to say that bikini will never be in my vocabulary.

I think the one with Lil J peeking up at me is super cute :) It does remind me of a cartoon pic that I have seen. A cartoon of something with a big nose hanging over a wall, or something. Anyone know??








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