Monday, October 5, 2009

She WAS worth the wait....

I have started this post several times, even had it written out in my head. But, I have deleted so many times. It is so hard to put into word how I feel that "She was worth the wait"

I will try to explain below, but for now, here is her Birth Announcement, I did write "She was worth the wait" on the top. Oh, I I think the pic is super cute :)

OK, how do I explain that she really was worth the wait. We have had a crappy history trying to get and stay pregnant.

How do I say that I am happy how things turned out? How do I say that without our crappy year in 2008, I would not have my beautiful baby, or Lil J.

How do I explain that things happen for a reason, without making it sound like I do not mourn my lost babies?

Of course if I was able to keep even one of my previous pregnancies, I would have a baby, but that baby would not be Cora. Especially since I know that at least one of those babies was a boy.

I am almost tempted to delete this post as well, I can't seem to get what I want to say out. I can't stand the term "things happen for a reason" like I am not suposed to be sad or angry about my losses, as I now have a perfect healthy baby. But, it is kinda true.

Maybe I will delete this post, or edit it, or just leave the announcement. I guess no one will understand how I feel, unless they have been there.


Lauren said...

Many people know EXACTLY what you mean. If I did not have my miscarriage, I wouldn't have Ryan. I'm not "grateful" for my m/c, and I do still cry over it for sure. But I cannot imagine my life w/out Ryan. It's for sure a very weird feeling - but I understand 100%.

Stacie said...

Lauren couldn't have said it any better.

I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. If I hadn't have lost my first baby, I would not have Laney.

I still mourn my loss two years later.

I am even having a hard time posting a comment because I don't know how to put my thoughts into words. It's one of those things that is a mutual understanding between women who have lost their baby(ies).

Cora is one beautiful baby girl. I am very, very, VERY happy for you and your husband.

QueenEsther said...

You all have explained it very well. As a foster mom, I feel something similar. My foster son's early days were not something children should experience. I am so angry and sad when I think of them, but without all that, he wouldn't be safe in my home. I am thankful he is here, but I am not thankful for the abuse & neglect that brought him to me.

Kristina said...

She was absolutely worth the wait. I say the same things about my son.

That announcement is just precious!

QueenEsther said...

It occurs to me that my comment might offend - truly, I didn't mean to. Just wanted to commiserate on the strange way that sad becomes happy and happy becomes sad.

Sisrea said...

I completely understand!!! I actually made a similar post after my girls were born. It is sooo surreal to think that if any one of your other pregancies would have taken it would have been a different story.

Cora is beautiful and congratulations on your birth again!!

Erica said...

I too, completely understand. I had 2 m/c in between Landon's birth and this pregnancy. those two m/cs were concurrent with 2 of yours. Now you have your beautiful Cora and my healthy little baby boy will be here in a few weeks. Will we ever forget those babies? no. I try to think of it this way, if it wasn't for them we wouldn't have what we have now. They played a major role, even if it was only a very short scene. They'll always be with us and help us to appreciate the healthy babies we have.

DrL said...

I've sorta been there, and I think I know a little about how you feel.

Keep the post up as-is. It's perfect.

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