Teenager Bragging

I am sure he will be thrilled that I am sharing, but what are moms for anyway???

Colin's hair is getting pretty long, it has officially been one year since he got it cut. It started as a crew-cut. The funny thing is that the front is straight, but the back is curly. As least now it is not so much in the "in-between" stage. Not really my favorite hair style, but that is basically how all the boys wear it where I live. Whatever, as long as he keeps it clean, I guess I am OK with it.

Oh, and because he is just so damn cool, it took a few shots to actually get a smile lol.

Here is your gift, now give it back.....

Some backstory. Colin sees his father 2x times a year. Yup, TWICE a year. This has been the "norm" since he was 4 yrs old. Before that, he did not see him at all. His father does not live near us, he is about 3 hours away - this is not the reason why he does not see him - just some extra to the story.

Multiple times, Colin was "given" things from his father for either a birthday or a holiday.
Given is in quotes because these are things that were never intended for Colin to actually keep. He has been given: a telescope, a fishing pole, a sled, and a dog. Yes, a real dog. I am sure there are more, but since he does not have them, I lost track. Colin was told that he has no use for these things where we live so that is why they stay there.

Um, you can keep the dog (sorry dog lovers), but I live in the country, I guess we don't need a telescope. Oh, and the river is just around the corner, but I guess the fishing pole would not come in handy.

These things are always REQUIRED to be left at his father's house. Seriously, WTF.

Now, yes - these are things that are very useful at his father's house. The live on a lake and get lots of snow and love to star-gaze. Fine, the 2 times a year that he is there, he will bring all these things with him.

In the past few years, his father has been getting in the habit of "giving" Colin board games for christmas. Sounds like a good gift, right. Well, he makes him leave them there! He father says that they have to stay there so they have something to do when Colin visits - TWICE A YEAR!!!! This has been a few years now, so Colin comes home with NOTHING. No gifts.

So, of course I pick Colin up today from his visit. I asked him about the presents he got for Christmas. He tells me he got Electronic Battleship, he tells me how cool it is and how much it has changed since the "original". He then proceeds to tell me that his father wanted it to stay there.

When Colin was packing his stuff, he father brought it back upstairs. Colin went and got it to pack and his father said "no, it was bought for you - but it has to stay here." You can't be serious.

Colin stood his ground and told him, "well, it is a cool game and I want to play it with my friends" I guess it went back and forth a few times, but in the end, Colin brought the game home. I can actually hear the conversation in my head......

Seriously, WTF!!!!!! You see your kid 2x a year, why the hell would you buy him stuff that you have no intention of him using. The larger things (we all know) were not real gifts. But, board games!!!!

It is like, "here is your gift, see you in 8 months so we can play with it"

If it was the situation of shared custody, or an every other weekend type of thing - well then I guess I can understand that. That makes sense to me. But, he only goes there twice a year.

We do NOT have a court order or anything that states that he has to go to these visits. I have FULL LEGAL custody of Colin with NO ordered visitation. Which means, in english, I am not required to send him there.

This past summer, he told me that he did not want to go. I told him he really should because 1. it is still his father and 2. it is the only time he sees his grandparents.

I really think this is it. As much as I don't want to be the "bad" guy and tell him he can't go - Colin is starting to actually express the fact that HE does not want to go.

Oh - and there was another thing that happened with a sneeze - but that would be a whole post in itself.

The whole thing just really pisses me off and the thing that gets me even more upset is that this jerkoff is hurting MY KID!!!

Sorry - just had to vent that out.

The story of my son

I got 2 comments on my last post - I guess it is kind of weird that I have a son already and I am having so many issues getting and staying pregnant.

So, I guess it is easiest to answer the question here so that many know the story.

I did blog about this a long time ago, here are the links:
19 & pregnant and 19 & pregnant (cont)

Long story short:
~ Lost my virginity at 19 to a long term boyfriend.
~ Broke up with said boyfriend 2 days after "the deed"
~ Started hanging out with a guy - friends at first for a few months
~ Guy convinced me that sex was no big deal
~ 3 weeks later I am knocked up
~ Guy breaks up with me the day I tell him I am pregnant
~ Raised my son as a single mom for 11 years at which point I marry my husband
~ Started TTC when I was 32 yrs old. I am now 34 years old

Trust me - I think about it each and every day. How is it that I was able to get pregnant, probably within a week of my first intimate relationship (don't count guy #1) and now I am having such a hard time.

Of course things like age, weight, etc obviously factor into the mix. But, come on!?!? How many teen moms do you know that have trouble later on. I don't know any.

I do find it annoying that I get pregnant with a 100% loser with no problem and the man that I love to death and want to have a baby with, I can't. And just a FYI - my husband has NO fertility issues. He is 100% perfect. We also both had genetic testing done and we are BOTH fine.

I am pretty much an open book, so no question will really ever offend me - please ask away.

If you would like me you expand on anything, just ask.

You can see how totally young I was in this pic. Colin was probably 2 and a 1/2 or so?? And yes, I know I look about 12 yrs old.

Colin has officially passed 8th grade

The past few weeks have been hard. Colin still failed one class for the 4th marking period. BUT - he passed every class for the year.

Hard work does pay off.

As of a few weeks ago, he was failing 3 classes for this marking period and there was the possibility that he would fail classes for the year. If he failed any classes for the year, he would need to go to summer school.

So, he passed all his classes for the year = no summer school.

I really think the contract worked. It made him feel like he had a say in the course of action. He is writing me another one for the summer. I guess we will have one forever! It worked for us.

YAY! - 9th grade here we come!

UPDATE: I bought Colin a new wireless guitar for his guitar hero game. His guitar has not worked in several weeks. I gave it to him as a graduation present - and a gift for a job well done. Here he is rocking out on the guitar - look how fast his fingers move!!!! I made the video with my regular camera and did not know it recorded sound. If I knew - I probably would have kept my mouth shut!.

Last week of Middle School - I hope

This week is final's week at Colin's school. I worked really hard with him the past few weeks and helped him make up some missing assignments. So, it looks as though he might just pass (barely).

This means high school in the fall.

A few weeks ago when this all when down (see posts below) - I made him write a contract. It listed all things that he will do to get his grades up. And also listed what would happen it he did not do what is listed on the contract.

So, I think it worked well. I am making him do another one for the summer. He has a reading list anyway, so that will be included.

I am making him read for at least 1/2 hour each day (can be anything - magazine, newspaper, book, etc) and at the end of each week he will write a "one pager"

Since he has to don some of this for his summer reading list anyway - it is like killing two birds with one stone.

Random Post

This post is going to be a mod podge of stuff.

First:
I had my Progesterone (P4) blood test done today. My arm is getting pretty black and blue from all the bloodwork. One thing that has really helped me is bringing my own band-aids. I know this might sound silly - but I have pretty sensitive skin. And, the bandages that they use are the medical-super sticky-never come off kind. I really think it make the bruise worse. I would have a bruise and then have a rash from the bandage.

Sometimes it seems like they had better clear bandages - but it was hit or miss. I tried to just press the cottonball down for a few seconds, but the nurse always wants a band-aid. So, I starting bringing my own. It works for me.

I guess the results will be in either this afternoon or tomorrow. I will not get a call with the results unless the P4 is low. If the P4 is low, then they would Rx progesterone.

My clinic never call with bloodwork results unless it is a problem. I guess I like it this way. It prevents me from over thinking the numbers (aka googling the results). I did ask what my E2 was though, but they had to call me anyway to tell me to trigger - so she had the results in her hand when she made the call.

I guess for pregnancy tests (beta) they would call no matter what.

Second:
I am sure Colin's boy-scout troop thinks he is poor.

The troop is having their troop dinner this weekend. It happen to fall on the same night that I planned to have dinner with all of my sisters. The sister dinner was planned way before the troop dinner so Colin will be going by himself to the dinner while I entertain my sisters.

The troop dinner is a pot luck....every time we go I make and bring something. And although I have not had a kitchen for the past 19 months, what I bring is always homemade. I do all of my cooking on a hot plate or the BBQ grill - yup - even baked goods.

Anyway, Colin is at the meeting and a troop mom says to Colin, "Colin, since your Mom and Dad are not coming, why don't you just bring brownies?"

Colin replies, "I can't, we don't have a stove in our house". And of course he did not explain that we are renovating the house and that his mom still cooks (every night mind you).

So, I am sure this mom thinks we had our gas turned off or something. I might have to make a fancy meal just to prove that I can still cook in my non-existent kitchen.

Third:
Speaking of Non-existent kitchen......I HATE my house. Totally HATE it. You read correctly, I do not have a kitchen. I have not had one in over 19 months.

When we bought our house we new we had to put a lot of work into it. We started doing major demo. We ripped out the kitchen thinking we would put a bathroom and laundry room in it's place. The kitchen would be moved to another location in the house.

We spent $15,000 on a variety of things - not all home repair stuff though. The $15K went towards demo, dumpsters, new electric for the new bathroom, new plumbing for the bathroom, framework for the bathroom, drywall, paint (upstairs), bug exterminator (3 times), closing costs, one new window, labor expenses, and a bunch of other stuff that I can't rememeber.

When we spent that money, we thought that at least we would spend that much less when we finished all the projects.

Well, I guess that is not the case. So far each contractor that has looked at the house is not even take all of our work into consideration. It is like, "hey, thanks for doing all the hard work, however it does not change the price"

We have decided to go with the one company that I got a great vibe from and who is about in the middle price wise. They are coming over to give us a detailed proposal. Which is great, considering we still don't know if we got the loan and if we did how much it will be.

Our loan officer is on vacation all week, so we will not know until she returns. And even at that point, we might not get our money for a few weeks. It is just so frustrating.

I just can't wait for it to be done already!!

I feel like a bad mom

I really feel like a horrible mom.

I won't go into details beacuse I would like to keep a lot of private. But, I feel like I failed Colin somehow. There is a situation that seems to repeat itself over and over again.

Colin is a GOOD kid - he really is. But, it seems like what is going on is my fault - I know it is not, but I can't help but think that if I raised him different, or was a stay at home mom, or only worked part time, etc that thing would be a little different.

This has NOTHING to do with my marriage - or my husband, it is something that has been going on for about 6 years.

We keep having the same converstion over and over again, things change for about a week and then they go right back the way they were. This has been going on for years now. It seems like it is never getting better. I seriously think that because he is a cute kid, polite most of the time, a little boy, etc that people let him get away with so much more.

It is hard to write about this without full disclosure. But, it upsets me so much to even think about it. I try to be calm with him. I remember how much I HATED my father. Hated the way he spoke to me. Hated the way he belittled me. I NEVER want Colin to feel that way about me.

I have a bad temper sometimes, I think I am sometimes too hard on Colin. Things have to be said, I just hope he won't hate me in the end.

I have looked into getting some additional help for this situation, but most things are so much more extreme that what I think we need right now. Right now, I am at a loss about how to help him. I have tried so much already.

Note to self......

Note to self.......fall down a flight of stairs, get an x-ray.

Colin broke his arm........a week ago.

Colin goes sees his father twice a year (yup, I said twice, but that is another story). We meet in Scranton, PA (he lives upstate, NY). This is about 1 hr 15 minutes from me and about 2 hours from him.

As we were getting ready to leave last week (day after Christmas), Colin fell down the entire flight of stairs. All 14 of them. He cried and cried and I put some ice on it and gave him some tylenol. He father does not have a cell phone so I could not call him to let me know that I might have to bring him to the drs. Colin is the biggest drama queen, so I just though he was being overly dramatic. So, we went to drop him off. I told his father what happen, and told him that if it still bothered him that he should bring him to the dr. Well, he comes home yesterday and still says his arm hurts.

So, last night I bring him to an urgent care place - mainly just to shut him up....totally thinking is was just bruised. Well, they take the x-ray and it is a complete break right through the bone AND the bone is shifted a little so we need to go to an orthopedic asap. It is the bone between the elbow and shoulder and the break is about 1-2 inches from the shoulder. Apparently a very bad place to break.

So, today we bring him to the orthopedic. Yup - broken. But not as bad as they made it sound yesterday. The doctor called it a buckle fracture. There is a little bubble at the crack site, but he does not think it is shifted.

Since it is in a bad spot, they can not cast it. So, he is just in a shoulder sling for the next 3 weeks and then we have to another x-ray. In the meantime, no sports. OH Boy is he pissed.

Gift Cards and Shopping

OK, like I posted before, I am not happy with the quantity of the gifts for Colin this year. He is getting a few high ticket items. So, that means not as many.

So, I have been buying stupid non-gifts things that I would have bought anyway, but will wait until Christmas until he gets them (socks, underwear, etc)

So, I got a $50 AMEX gift card from my boss, I spent the entire thing on more gifts for Colin to put under the tree.

A bunch of little things like a cheat code book for his video games ($5); Magic cards - 3 Packs ($4 each, total $12); DVD/CD tower ($20); Pez for the stocking with refills ($3); Track Pants - 2 pair ($12.00).

I really don't need anything anyway. Besides, I would rather he has a nice Christmas than me buying myself a cute purse or something.

Although he does not believe in Santa anymore, he is still a little kid.

For ONCE, Colin is ahead of the game

OK, I have never been one to spoil my child. And to be honest, Colin is normally the kid that gets a "new to him" toy/video game/etc.

For years, Colin has gotten whatever game system that was 3 systems ago. Mainly because the were cheaper and I can buy used.

Example, Colin has a Game Boy Advance. Since this model, they have made Gameboy SP, Nintendo DS and Nintendo DS Lite (basically all gameboys). Colin only got this gameboy last year. Each new model plays the older games so trading up would never be an issue.

For his birthday he was given a used Playstation 2. Playstation 3 came out last year. So, he is still repeating the "new to him" trend.

BUT!!!!!! Colin's birthday was Nov 1st. About 4 days before his birthday a new game came out (Guitar Hero III for Playstation 2). I had traded in a few games and an old system and got this brand new super cool game.

Colin got it WAY before most of his friends got it (most MIGHT get it for Christmas)....and now it is considered one of the "Big Ticket Items" for this Christmas. Which means that you can't get it - sold out.

So, for once....Colin has the newest and greatest "hot item" and is the envy of all his friends. I think probably for the first time........oh wait, there was the original Tickle me Elmo....but that is another story all together.

Colin's Christmas List

Mp3 Player - Check
New Gameboy Thing - Check
Video Games - Check
Books - Check
Sibling - Um, what???

Colin said (not joking) it would be nice to get a sibling for christmas. He really does not know that we are trying. But, knows that we would like to have more children. He knows it takes 9 months to HAVE a baby. But, I doubt he knows how long it can take to get pregnant.

I told him, "these things take time - I promise, I will tell you when it happens"

Now, I know he will not be disappointed if he does not get everything on his "list"....but it kills me that Colin want's this just as much as my husband and I do.

2 long posts in a row...wow

The last 2 posts were really long, so I will not bore anyone with another one.

It is a little less than a month before Christmas, and I am basically done with shopping. Not only that, but the presents are wrapped and under the tree.

I have a couple of projects that I want to do for Christmas, so I guess I have plenty of time for that now. Besides, December is so full of activities that I am not sure I would be able to find time to go shopping.

It kind of upsets me about the amount of presents for Colin. I always spend around the same amount of money on Colin. But, this year his wish list were for expensive things that come in really small packages - video games, mp3 player, etc. So, I still spent the same amount, but there are less presents.

I spoke to Colin about this. Told him that we only spend $XX and that it is possible that there may not be a lot of presents under the tree. He totally understands. I think he would rather get what he wants as opposed to a lot of stuff that he does not want.

Plus, as much as I object, he is totally spoiled by my sisters and my parents.

My Favorite Picture so far!

This is my favorite shot from Colin's Photoshoot. There are so many great ones, but this is the one that most people also say is their favorite.

Since I could not decide on which ones to purchase...I bought the entrire CD of images. This way I can print them all and also print enlargements for gifts. You KNOW everyone wil be getting these pictures as gifts.

I should get the CD this week, so I will add more pictures when I get them.

If you want to see the whole photshoot....Click Here

Happy Birthday Colin!!!

Colin turned 13 today. Where does the time go. It is official, I am the mom of a teenager.

I really thought that by now Colin would have been a big brother. I can't say that it does not bother me that IF I ever have any more kids, they will be light years apart in age.

I grew up very close to my sisters. There is 5 of us within a 10 year span. We are still close to this day.

More than likely, Colin will not have a close relationship with his siblings when he is young. Maybe when they are older. The minimum age difference will be 14 years.

I'm a model you know what I mean....

I swear my kid is SOOO cute. We did a photoshoot in a park because I am horrible at taking pictures and as he gets older, they are far and few between.

I love the way they came out!!!

Here is a link to the photoshoot....enjoy
Colin's Photo Shoot

I will have a teenager this week

Colin will be 13 in a few short days. I can not believe that I will be the mom of a teenager. That makes me feel really old!!!

I still can't belive that Colin is my parents only grandchild. You can tell too, he is spoiled spoiled spoiled!!

Gap Photo Contest

Ok - so I entered Colin in a Photo Contest for GAP. He barely make the cut-off for age. You have to be 12 years old or younger on Oct 24, 2007. Well, Colin will be 13 on Nov 1, 2007 - just a week after the cut-off. But, still 12 on 10/24/07 so he does qualify.

I feel weird doing it since it is close to the cut-off. But I am not breaking any rules or anything. I think he is super cute, a bunch of other people have told me he is super cute. Who know where it will go.

He is the deal. GAP is running a casting call (photo contest) and it is sorted by age group and gender. So there is a group for 0-4 Girls, 0-4 Boys, 5-12 Girls, & 5-12 Boys. You can submit upto 5 pictures. GAP will chose 5 finalists from each category for a total of 20 finalists.

Once the finalists are chosen, it is then an online vote. Who ever gets the most votes in each category wins. The prize is a Trip to San Francisco for a photo shoot, with a chance that the photos will be displayed in a GAP store or in a Gap Ad, a Kodak prize package, a GAP wordrobe.

OK - here is where it gets interesting. You can view a SAMPLE of the photos submitted. In the category of boys/girls 0-4 yrs old - there are 12 pages of pictures. On the Boys 5-12 yrs old, there is only 2 pages of pictures. Now, I know this is only a sample - but it kind of makes me think that there are A LOT less photos in Colin's category.

So, to me that means that he has a better chance of getting picked to be a finalist - even chosen at random. Plus (like I said before), he is SO DAMN CUTE, so that should increase his odds as well.

Colin has been wanting to get into pictures, etc so maybe he will win this and get something else out of it.

I will keep you posted, because when he is a finalist - I will need your votes!!!

The Hawk is back!

The hawk is back. =)

Colin has been growing his hair since June. All the cool kids are doing it. LOL So, the other day he says that he wants to re-cut the mohawk. Fine by me. Hey, I figure that if that is the worst thing that he does then I am doing OK.

I actually think it looks really cute. He looks much older (I think).

A bunch of people have said that he should be some kind of print model.

People have been saying this since he was a baby. I looked into this for about a second when he was small, but never made any calls, sent anything in or did anything about it. When he was 2 & 3, he did win 1st place and best in show (both times) in a photo contest at our county fair.

He has also said that he might might to do it. I don't know - who would book a kid with orange braces and a mohawk. Something to think about though.

REVISED 1/2/08 - I have a site meter on my blog. It tells me where people clicked from to find my blog. A lot of hits are from a google image search of Mohawks. Since this post is viewed a lot, I figured I would add some more mohawk pictures. These pictures were taken in November 2007.

My First Roomate

There was a poll about roomates on my local board so I thought I would share some things about my first roomate......

I got this roomate when I was a junior in college. He was a very short man. But, the second I saw him I thought he was the cutest. I knew him for 9 months before we co-habitated.

He drooled all the time and I had to constantly clean up his crap. I put up with it though. In fact, I kind of liked it.

After a while he started talking back to me. And most of the time I could not even understand what he was saying.

All of a sudden, all of his stuff was all over the place. It was like he owned the place. In every corner of every room were his "toys".

It did not take long before I was in total love with him. I always knew that we would have a life-long friendship.

Over the next few years, he became more and more dependent on me. I had to drive him everywhere, as he does not have a license. I also had to buy everything for him, he did not have a job. I loved him anyway. More and more each day.

We were always together, then things changed. He started hanging out with his buddies...all the time. It seemed like he was never home. I really missed my guy and always thought about the time we shared just the two of us.

When I met my husband, my "roomate" was so great to MH. They hung out all the time and soon became buddies. I loved seeing them hang out together. What could be better than my two favorite guys together.

Soon, my "roomate" figured out that I would marry MH and he welcomed him with open arms. They really are a great match.

So, now I am married and I took my "roomate" with me (of course) to live with MH. Now, my husband is looking to add a new "roomate" to our bunch!

My Roomate, my son. Love ya.

Youngest Mom, Oldest Child

Today is the first day back at school. So I was talking to the other parents at work. It turns out that Colin is the oldest kid. Cool. BUT, I am the youngest mom out of all of the parents. By a lot!

Getting pregnant at 19 was not really in my life plan, but whatever - you deal with what you are given. Most times I don't think it really makes that much difference. I have a great kid and think I am a good mom. The "young mom" usually is not an issue. But now, he is almost a teenager and I still look pretty young. Not 16 young, but younger than I am. I am constantly getting, "you have a teenager?"...."you do not look old enough to have a 12 year old"....."are you his sister?"

When he was first born, I looked like I was 15-16, boy did I get the stares. It was really bad when he was about 1-2 yrs old. I still looked like a teenager, but now with a toodler, which in their eyes meant that I was 14 when I had him.

I think being a young single mom made me the person who I am now. Let's hope that I will not an "old" mom when I ever have another kid.