Friday, September 26, 2008

Another gem from my mother

I know my mom does not know what to say, but EVERYTHING she says hurts me. I blogged about this with my second loss HERE. I don't know if she is just throwing out things that she thinks will make me feel better, or if she really believes them.

Yesterday I got the following:

"It is not natural to be pregnant 3 times in 7 months, obviously your body knows that and it is telling you something"

Yay, it is telling me that my mom is a crackhead.


"This is not fair to [my son], this is a lot for him. BTW - my son only knows about the first pregnancy and loss. And my mom knows this - so I am not sure what this means.

I am close to my mother, and I regrettably feel like we have grown apart since March - mainly because I just can't talk to her anymore. I tell her that she hurts my feelings and she keeps going.


Leah said...

That really sucks. Maybe you should tell her that talking about infertlity/miscarriage is off limits. I know you want to be able to lean on her right not but she may just not be able to be that person for you. People just don't get it. I'm really sorry you are having to go through this. As for her saying "It is not natural to be pregnant 3 times in 7 months, obviously your body knows that and it is telling you something"?? I'm sure you don't disagree that something is not natural about it. There is a medical that hopefully can be fixed. Your body is telling you that you need help to have a baby! Don't give up hope. It's not over yet...keep your chin up!!

angie said...

Ugh, moms are great... sometimes. I am sorry for your loss. I have one question, please don't be offended! Did you have trouble conceiving Colin? I tried to look back in ur blog to see if so, but couldn't find it. Please don't be mad, just wondering. I am thinking of you.

MT said...

Not to be rude but, I was wondering the same. I am new to your blog and was surprised to know you have a son already. Do they know why you are having these problems? and what did happen when conceiving Colin?

Susan said...

I'm so sorry you are going through this again. I was really hoping this one would be your sticky baby. Sorry about your mom. My family said all kinds of similar hurtful things to me when I was going through my miscarriages. Don't give up hope!!

theworms said...

I'm so sorry she's being so hurtful, I don't they get it at all. My mom feels like IF is private and no one should know about DH's problem or the surgery. We have nothing to be ashamed off!
If we have to go through this crap we should at least be able to educate the fertiles and hopefully one day get all IF covered by insurance. Sorry for the rant :(

Maria (MKC101103) said...

I'm so sorry your Mom continually does this to you. I wish there was a switch in her head that you could flip to make her "get it".

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