Thursday, September 25, 2008

I cried myself to sleep last night

Last night I cried myself to sleep. If you can call it sleep. I slept maybe a total of 3 hours last night.

This is one of the lowest times of my life - you really can not imagine how bad this hurts. I would not wish this extreme pain on my worst enemy.

I know I posted after m/c#2 how bad I hurt. I can tell you with 100% certainty that those feelings were nothing.

We will be taking a much needed break. Maybe start again with the new year - maybe not start again ever. I know nothing has a guarantee, but, I just can not go through this again. My heart hurts too much.

To want something so badly, only to have it ripped away from you is one of the worst feelings in the world.

Colin knows something is up - I told him I have the flu. You can tell he is worried about me and it breaks my heart.

4 comments:

MP1648 said...

I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

MT said...

I am so sorry for your loss again. Really I know there are no words to make this better. You just have to grief and find the strength to get peace in your heart. I am not sure if you are religious or not but, if you have a belief in God pray to him for strength to get through this.

kjames106 said...

I'm so sorry, sweety! I pray peace over you and your household.

Jeon-Ellis said...

I cried reading about your 3rd loss. Give yourself a good rest. I will pray for you, your DH...and your healthy future baby. I will pray for you.

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