Saturday, July 12, 2008

I think the waiting will kill me

I have to go back on Monday for another u/s. But from what the PA said, it will more than likely be a confirmation of yet another loss.

The waiting this weekend will probably kill me. Should I be upset yet, should I be happy that I am pregnant, should I not stress about it (stress never does anyone any good), should I just ignore the news I got yesterday?

I have only told my mother - I did not tell anyone else that knew I was pregnant. I am not really sure why I did that. But telling my mother is never a good thing.

I am sure I posted about what my mother said to me after my last loss. It might be on my other blog. Anyway, I can probably write a book to send to all mothers whose children suffer a loss.

She just says the dumbest things. I am sure she does not mean to be hurtful - and I correct her right away - but she keeps going.

I even got different ones this time around:

1 - you did not give your body enough time to adjust after your last m/c - really? 3 cycles is not enough time? I guess you know better than my doctor?

2 - maybe you just just stop treatments - maybe your body is telling you something? Yup, that was one of my favorites.

3 - it probably has something to do with the fact that you had to use IUI - Oh, yeah, I forgot, IUI is now considered in the same class as voodoo.

4 - I told here that we will have the tissues tested again if we have to have a D&C. And if it came back with chromosome issues, we might have to go to IVF with PGD. She asked what that was and I explained in detail what it was. She came back with - Well, I hope you don't go that route, seems so invasive just to have a kid. Yes, it is invasive....but I don't think so extreme that it should not be considered.

5 - When I explained what was seen in the u/s (no yolk, no fetal pole), she said - Well, that means you are not really pregnant, right? Yup, not pregnant. My body has been producing pregnancy hormones for a month now but I am obviously not pregnant.

EDIT: - my mom of course called me today and this comment has got to be my new favorite.

6 - You tested way too early. Back in the day, you had to miss 2 periods before you would even test. So, if you waited, you would never miscarried - it would have been just a late period. Do I even have to give a response to this one????

You just have to love moms.

I really should have just lied and said the machine was not working and have to go back on Monday. I know she will call me every hour to see how I am doing. Which don't get me wrong - it is very nice and loving, etc. But, right now, it is really not what I want to hear.

4 comments:

Jill said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. I am praying that you get good news next week.

I know how much other people's comments can hurt. Even though you know that they care about you and have no idea what to say, it is just not what you want to hear when you are going through something like this.

(((HUGS)))

MrsTSalazar said...

I am so sorry.

My thoughts are with you!

momma mimi said...

Amy - I just wanted to say that you are in my thoughts and prayers during this time. I hope your next u/s goes better than the first.

I am sorry that you are receiving such inappropriate comments, especially from people so close to you like your mom. She's trying to be helpful/loving but perhaps doesn't know the right words to say.

Take care.

Amy
TTTC Nestie momma_mimi

Maria (MKC101103) said...

I'm so sorry your Mom doesn't have more senstive comments.

But it's a good thing you're finding out so "early" when you do get PG...that will help you get the needed tests and treatments to help your babies stick in the future.

Hugs,
Maria

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