Don't let the previous post fool you - I have had a CRAPPY week. I am not sleeping well. I get up several times a night. Then because I am not working right now, I think about stuff all day long.
Then to top it off, Colin is away this week. Now, while I am thilled that we were able to shield him from this grief this time around, it really would have been nice for me to see his face.
Colin comes home tomorrow - so all will be good in that area.
I am just more of an emotional wreck this time around. It is weird to explain. I am upset - but it is different than the last time. Better, but worse. Told you I can't explain it.
I also feel like I am in limbo on the message boards that I go on. I am definately not on Success After Infertility (SAIF) but don't really belong on Trouble Trying to Concieve (TTTC) because I will not be seeking addional treatments until at least October.
Of course I can go on TTTC and do research on my options and of course see when everyone moves over to SAIF. But right now, I don't think I should answer any posts regarding IUI. People don't want to see that BOTH of my IUIs ended in m/c. I know one has nothing to do with another, but will everyone else see it that way?
I really do love TTTC - the support I get from the women there is unbelievable. I know that I can post there just to vent. I am sure I will have my own questions when it gets closer to October.
I hate just being a lurker - as I was on SAIF since March. But, can't really post there either. I don't really have any "success" stories to share. I still can't believe how many SAIFers have their babies already!!!!
I am also have other physical things going on that are just constant reminders of the fact that I am no longer pregnant. I have to go back to the RE next week to check my levels - I will also talk to them about the other physical things that are going on.
So, I am hoping that next week is better than this one. Because this week has been hell!
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2 comments:
You are ALWAYS welcome on TTTC, and no one doesn't want you to post. If that was the case, how would the IVF'ers react to my signature about loss at 23 weeks! I also lurk on SAIF, but post on TTTC, even when not actively trying, because I love the support there. I hope you can do the same. We all want you around.
Have you been on the PG Loss board? That board saved me after my two most recent losses. The women there are amazing and helped me through some very hard days.
{{{Hugs}}}
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