Thursday, June 19, 2008

Facebook make me feel like a loser

There is a section on facebook that you can list your education, your employers, your occupation, etc.

I am sure the goal of this section is to help you find other people. I only have my High School listed because I only went away to school for 2 years and anyone that I want to stay in touch with, I already do. I went to a small school, but do I want those 6000 people contacting me through facebook?

Anyway, some of my High School friends not only list their full education, but some also list their occupation. As I sit there and read these sections, I just can't help but to think how much of a loser I am.

I went to college for 5 years, but I have never had a real career. Yes, I have always had a job - but it was never something that I went to school for.

I have also thought about this in terms of my obituary. You see the see them all the time. Mary Jones was a dedicated {fill in the blank) for 25 years. Mine will read, "Amy has had several jobs over her lifetime, always taking taking the job that paid the bills, but where she never truely loved her job" How sad is that?

Yeah, I know - I can always go back to school or try to get a job that I love (or just not put that in my obituary) - but when I think back - I am just reminded how much I did not acheive. Especially when I compare it to others.

Now, in addition to so many other things, facebook makes me feel like a loser.

I just wanted to put it out there that I know that my job/career does not define how successful I am in life. I know that any job does not define my whole life. And my family is the most important thing to me. No job will ever be more important. And yes - my obituary would probably say something about being a dedicated mother - even when times were really tough, having a great marriage, being a good friend, maybe even how infertility made me a better person.

I guess I am just a little upset that right now I have NO job - let alone one that I really like.


Christi said...

funny you mention this, I look at people on facebook and see how many kids they have, how cute, etc... While I have a career, I'd trade it for anything in the world to have a child. Plus, I wonder if I hadn't of waited to have kids because of that career, would I still have the same problems I'm having???

From what I've read on your blog, I'd bet to say that your obituary says dedicated mother and wife! sending you HUGS...

Lisa said...

OK, I was going to say the exact same things as Christi!! I truly hope my obituary doesn't say a word about my career, but, instead, talks about my kids and the volunteer work that I do. I feel the same way you do on Facebook when I see everyone's pics with their kids. I guess we all have our "thing".....

Anonymous said...

Facebook made me feel like a loser-- I deleted my account. It's a place for people with friends and family. For various reasons I never connected with people in high school or college because I was ill for a long time. I have few friends. Also, I have only my brother and dad as family members. It hurts when you see people with a hundred friends, and you have only twenty or so. There's no point.

Anonymous said...

I feel the same way about facebook. But the thing to remember is that no none is going to post their negative crap on there- that they are alcoholics, lonely, were fired, had an affair with the boss and broke up a marriage, major illness, etc. Everyone posts a picture-perfect world. But the truth is that everyone has regrets in life. No life has it all. We have to be thankful for the things we have and keep moving forward.

Facebook is really about curiosity and comparing the lives of high school classmates with your own to see if you measure up. Its fun to be curious, but also a dangerous place to go as you are looking through a lens that doesnt tell the whole picture and setting yourself up to feel bad about yourself.

Instead, compare yourself to your ideals. Are you living an authentic life and standing up for who you are and what you belive in, and honoring YOUR sacred journey?

Red Beard said...

Funny how facebook can mess with a person’s confidence. I have more than my fair share of genuine friends, the kind I can meet for coffee, kayaking, help with a painting project… So I get a Facebook account and connect with old classmates. 50 years old and resurrecting the bones of high school insecurity. Most of my classmates like to respond to cute little postings and snippets of song lyrics. I’ll post something that I find interesting and am almost always disappointed (and secretly hurt) in the lack of depth in responses. I erased 2 years of posts, posted a couple of nice things about my family and left it at that. I check out new posts once in awhile. I guess we forget that we can all feel lonely at any age. I thought about erasing the account but decided to leave it up as a way for somebody wanting to contact me if they felt inclined. Things like Facebook can bring out the loneliness in sensitive people, even if you weren’t lonely before. Regarding career, I was just talking to my son about how career doesn’t need to be a defining part of life. It’s the living that’s important. Friends, family, recreation, and how you respond to the world mean infinitely more than a career title, money, etc.. Anybody that would judge another person’s worth and accomplishment based on a list of job titles, education, etc.. isn’t worth much worry about what they think. Being a good parent, spouse, friend, and person amounts to much more. Some of the most powerful books are written about people just getting by. The subtle corners of life are the inspiration for the most powerful and heartfelt lyrics. If that makes sense. Take care and know that you are in good company.

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