Wednesday, May 27, 2009

1st Visit with Mom today

Just dropped Lil J off at his visit. This is his first visit since he was removed in Feb. I did meet his mother, just long enough to make the exchange.

He did recongize her, which was one of my big concerns. She thanked me and gave me a hug.
I was OK until I got to my car, that is where I lost it. Man, this is really hard.

I really do hope the best for his mother. Now I wait and hope I do not have a heart attack from now until 1:30.

Well, I just got back not too long ago from Lil J's visit. The visit went fine it seemed. Of course I can't get every single detail from the visit for a few reasons:

1 - the mother was right there, so the worker is not gonna say anything bad

2 - unless there was something that happened at the visit that needed to be addressed, I don't think they will share more than "it was fine" Although, I may hear bits and pieces from the case worker at a later date.

Anyway, I felt really bad for the mom. When I went to get him, he got all excited and was yelling, "mommy, mommy, you came back, you came back" I am sure that KILLED his mother.

Then while I was there, his mother said something like, "soon you are going to come live with me" Lil J replied, "no, I want to live with mommy" Again, I am sure that was not easy for the mom to hear.

Then of course my van happens to be the EXACT same van as ALL of the state vans. So the entire parking lot was full of white grand caravans. Lil J kep saying "mommy's van"

I think for future visits, we may or may not do a face to face. I don't want to intentionally hurt the mother's feelings.


Stacie said...

Try and look at like this...

I'm sure it hurt like hell that Lil J called you "mommy" in front of his bio mom.

Bio mom has to realize that that is what happens when small children get taken from their parents. Perhaps it will be a wake up call for her rather.

But really, I can understand your point of view. What a tough situation to be in - very emotional.

Andrea said...

It is such a good thing that you are doing, caring for Lil J:) I truly hope his bio-mom understands that, and if she does indeed want to be a parent, gets her act together.

It's tough. We cared for my 6 yr old niece for nearly a year while my sister was in rehab. It was heart breaking to see her go back to my sister. They live across the country so I only see her every few years, but I do get to see her, for which I am thankful. ((HUGS))

heeda said...

Wow! Talk about an emotional day for all of you. I'm sure it was very difficult for her to hear him calling you mommy.

You're doing a fantastic thing for that little boy and it's great that he loves you and has connected with you so quickly.


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