So, yesterday I got a total definite positive on a $tree hpt. I have actually been testing since the other day when I had the evap line craziness. Each time, I tested negative. There were some that after a few hours I saw a shadow of a line - evap lines or just crazy Amy lines. Who knows.
But, yesterday - I did the hpt and within 30 seconds there was nothing. So, I jumped in the shower and when I got out of the shower, there is was, clear as day. And before you even say anything, I do not take long showers, and I totally checked it within the testing window.
Of course I told my husband, and of course he was super happy. He even had a smirk on his face. I thought I was pregnant all day yesterday. I never thought it would happen to me.
I even started thinking about how I would word in on my blog and on the message boards. I finally thought I would write something like "after ttc for over 2 years, 6 medicated cycles (3 of which were IUI), 3 m/c, and moving forward with adoption.......I got pregnant on my own"
But, I guess I will have to use that announcement for another time.
Last night I had the plan that I would take another hpt this morning and then head to the RE for a beta. I wanted to go today because I would not be able to go again until Monday.
We were happy for a whole day. This morning I took the hpt and it could not have been more NEGATIVE!
I know what a negative test looks like, and I probably even know what an evap line looks like. I know what I saw yesterday.
I did in fact go to the RE, but I guess my local office is not open today, and the main office is an additional 45 minutes away. So, instead, I went to Walmart and bought a digital. Well, a 2 pack of digitals.
After about 3 hours from my first pee, I POAS. But - when I wiped, I realized that I started my period. It would not take a genius to know that the digital would say "not pregnant". So, I wasted the test by actually peeing on it as opposed to peeing in a cup.
Yup, not pregnant. I am just going with a faulty test yesterday. I really don't even want to think about the fact that it could have be a legit test which would mean yet another m/c - or as the medical field likes to call a chemical pregnancy. It is really just too much to handle.
So, I am going with the "I am so excited, this cycle was 30 days, yay" Can you sense the sarcasm!
Yes, we are adopting. And I could not be happier. But, IF is not something that you can just shut off a switch about. It is still upsetting that I can't get pregnant - and that I THOUGHT I was pregnant - without intervention - but that feeling lasted less than 24 hours.
And just because I like to post pics of my pee sticks, here is the hpt from yesterday. The line is pretty clear - no squinting needed.
4 comments:
OH, I AM SO SORRY YOUR NOT PREGNANT. I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO WANT TO BE PREGNANT SO BAD AND THEN YOU GET YOUR PERIOD. SO DEPRESSING. I WAS ALMOST 27 BEFORE I HAD MY FIRST CHILD, AFTER HE WAS BORN WE DID'NT USE ANY PROTECTION SO WE THOUGHT I MIGHT GET PREGNANT FAIRLY QUICKLY, BUT IT WAS 18 LONG MONTHS. WHEN MY SON WAS 18 MONTHS I GOT PREGNANT ONLY TO MISCARRY AT 7 WEEKS. I HAD TO HAVE A D&C I WAS SO DEPRESSED. AS SOON AS I GOT MY FIRST NORMAL CYCLE WE STRATED TRYING AND I GOT PREGNANT ON THE FIRST TIME. NOW MY DAUGHTER IS 11 MONTHS OLD. AGAIN WE DECIDED NO PROTECTION FROM THE TIME SHE WAS BORN AND I HAD RECOVERED FROM HAVING HER. STILL NOT PRGNANT. I WAS HOPING OUR CHILDREN WOULD BE CLOSE IN AGE. I WILL CONTINUE TO FOLLOW YOUR BLOG AND HOPE THAT YOU WILL GET PREGNANT. DON'T GIVE UP. I'LL BE PRAYING FOR YOU.GOOD LUCK!!!
I'm so sorry Amy.
What a freaking rollercoaster of emotions. This IF crap just sucks.
((HUGS))
I can't believe the rollercoaster you've been on the past few days. I am so sorry!
Just as you posted to me...you can't catch a break either! IF sucks, any which way you look at it. I'm so sorry your roller coaster rides continues.
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