Wait a sec, did we just make a decision?
So, I got up the nerve to talk to my neighbor - she does indeed work for DYFS (I was not 100% sure) and she knew everything about Foster / Adoption.
I went across the street and told her about trying for 2 years, 3 losses, yada yada yada, and then said that we were considering adoption as one of our options.
OK - backtrack to last night -
My husband and I had a great chat last night. We talked about our options (adoption and/or IVF with PGD), talked about the costs, talked about feelings, talked about what we want in the end, talked about types of children, how many children, talked and talked and talked.
We really are on the same page with regards to adoption, he said that he really wants to be a father for so many reasons, and not one of them is specifically is about blood. What a relief, because the more I thought about it, the more I agreed. It is most important to be a mom and dad to a child, that does not mean that it has to be a biological child.
We also talked about the IVF, we are still BOTH on the fence about that one. I know there are no guarantees in life and especially not in IF, but it is a lot of money to spend, money that we don't really have. He of course joked that we just wouldn't pay our property taxes for 3/4 of the year and it should be fine. Yeah, OK.
We decided that even if we did do IVF, we would do adoption at the same time. This way we could do all the things needed (homestudy, checks, paperwork, etc, etc, etc) while we were doing the IVF cycle, and if things did not work out, then we would be ahead of the game. And if things did work out, then it would be a double blessing.
- Enough of back-track story -
Ok, so I talk to my neighbor. She gives me lots and lots of info. She tells me that we would be good candidates because we are a 2 parent family, already raised a child, good family, location, etc, etc. That was a nice bonus to hear.
She was able to give me lots of info about the types of kids, how to increase our chances of placement (accepting either gender, siblings, etc), talked about the process, timeframe, etc.
It was a great chat. She said that she will gather lots of info tomorrow and leave it for me. She also reminded me that I should put her name as a reference. Not that it would give us preferential treatment, but it may possibly speed up the process. It totally works in my favor, because she said when it does become time to place a child, she already has a personal relationship with me and would probably already know if it would be a good placement.
We talked for about a half hour and I really feel like I was able to get so much info.
When my husband came home and we talked about my conversation, he seemed really impressed with the information and said, "It is a great starting point"
Um, did we just make a decision? Is this our path to parenthood?