3 kids - 3 different fathers

Sounds like an episode of jerry Springer. But, in reality, in the fall, I will have 3 kids with 3 different fathers. And, well, 2 different mothers lol. This of course is assuming that Lil J is still with us.

My cousin was so kind to point that out to me this morning. I did not even think about it until she said something. I guess mainly because I never thought of the fact that Colin will not have the same father as the baby coming in the fall. In my mind, Frank is Colin's dad. He is the only dad he really knows.

Yes, Colin sees his father a few times a year. But does that really make him a dad - um, I think not.

So, my life is now a Jerry Springer show. Oh, well - would not change a thing.

Interesting OB Appointment

Had my NT scan today. Well, attempted it at least. The NT scan measures the thickness on the back of the neck, and it somehow determines if you are at a higher risk of certain problems (down's , tri 18)

I was really nervous about it, not really because of the measurements, but I was hoping there was still a heartbeat. So - heartbeat was great! 167 beats per minute - yay.

But, the baby did not cooperate at all, so there was no measurements taken - well, none as far as the NT Scan goes.

The baby is measuring just fine, and looks like your typical alien baby lol. I guess I should get myself a ticker :)

Here are the interesting things.

During the u/s, the tech kept asking me if I had any bleeding in the beginning of this pregnancy. I did - A LOT. I told her my RE could not find the source of the bleeding, and when it was.
Honestly, I did not think much about this conversation.

So, after the scan I meet with the doctor. She was able to tell me the source of the bleeding.....um, A TWIN!

It only grew to about 6w3d and was implanted very very high in my uterus. She said that it had collapsed on it self and may or may not reabsorb. She does not think it will be a problem with the rest of the pregnancy. Holy Moly - I never got twins with IF treatments, get pregnant on my own and had twins.

It was kinda weird knowing that. How the RE did not see that??? I have no idea. I had my first scan at 5W6D, and even another at 6W3D, and he did not see it. Kinda weird.

Another interesting thing - I cracked a rib by throwing up. I have been getting sick a lot - about 3 times a day. Yesterday, all of a sudden, I had this intense pain in my side. Really hurts to take a deep breathe, hurts to cough, etc. Doc said she can take x-rays (duh), but it pretty sure that I cracked a rib.

Yet another - all of the throwing up has made me loose 5 pounds in 2.5 weeks.

I have to go back next week to try the scan again.

Mommy Mobile

Spent almost 5 hours at a car dealership today, we are getting a 2007 Dodge Caravan in White. It has damage on the car which the dealership will fix before we get it. The whole process is a big pain in the ASS!!!!

Between getting what I wanted for my car, getting the price of the car lowered, and then the financing - well, it took FOREVER.

The damage is minor, a huge scratch from the hood to the trunk, and the hubcaps are broken. Because of this damage, the front fender was pushed in a little and the front passenger door does not open. All things will be fixed before we pick it up.

I am not thrilled with the color, even tried to get that worked in the deal, especially since they had to do body work anyway, that was a NO.

So, unless someone wants to give me the gift of a paint job (yeah right), I will just have to get used to the white. Like the sales guy said, you can't tell what color it is when you are driving it. It is not horrible, just not something I would ever pick. I also am not thrilled with the black stripe, but we did get a pretty good price, and they will pay off my current car - so I guess I will deal with it.

I looked a few used vans, and I liked this one the best because of the way the 2nd row was. It is a bench, but it is not centered so it is very easy to get to the 3rd row. I really thought I wanted captains chairs for the second row, but once I tried it out, I hated it. For me, the bench second seating will work the best for me. Again, nothing fancy - no dvd, no auto doors, etc - but I did not want those things anyway.

Here is a pic - not of the actual car, just a photo I found on-line.

More Q&A about Foster Care and Fost/Adopt

I LOVE getting questions about things I know lots about. I like to answer them well and then add the qustion and answer to this blog. I have always said, "Education breeds awareness" Some of this might have already been covered, but I figured I would had it here as well.

Question: I was curious if Little J was a placement that you are fostering for a while- or if he is a foster that will end up in adoption- or if that part is up in the air, etc?

Answer: Well, we were licensed for foster care, fost/adopt, and straight aoption. There are slight differences in each one. Of course we would love a long term (forever) placement, but we wanted kids in the house so we were willing to take other placements than straight adopt. In NJ, according to statistics, about 60% of foster kids DO NOT go back. So, we knew that we would have a good shot of getting a forever kid.

As for our placement - without giving too many details, he will probably be here for a while, if not forever. He was removed and placed in another home. That home was just not a good placement for him (2 kids the same age that did not get along). The mom is in a bad situation right now and has a lot of BIG things in her plan.

Here is a brief description of all options

Foster Care

• Goal is ALWAYS reunification with parents - unless those parents committed a crime against that child. In that case, it is would probably be fost / adopt
• A parent has 12-15 months to work their plan that is ordered by a judge (rehab, get a job, get an apartment, take parenting classes, etc) If after that time, a judge determines if the child should be returned to a parent (sometimes it is earlier than the 12-15 mths). If the child can not be returned, then the judge declares that parental rights should be terminated and the current foster parents have "first dibbs" to adopt the child. After this time, it is about another 6 months before rights are terminated and then another 6 months for the adoption to be final. This means that a child can be in our home for about 2 years before adoption is final. :(
• A parent has the right at anytime to decide to term her own rights - then the timeline is quicker

Fost / Adopt

• Basically the same as foster care - but usually someone determine that the child has lower legal risk than other placements. It may not be the first time in care, the mom may have had other kids taken away, the mom might have gone missing, the mom might be in jail for a serious crime, there may have been a crime against the child, etci
• f a child had been removed before and then returned to a parent, well - that time still counts toward the 12-15 months. So, if there is very little time left of the that time, a child might be considered fost/adopt
• Just because a worker (or a judge) THINKS that there is little risk of a child being returned to a parent, the parent still has the right to work the plan. So, even though everyone thought it would move toward adoption, there is no guarantee. Even on crimes against the child - family might step up.

Adoption

• There are children that are available for straight adoption - these are the kids that have already gone through the above.
• Why aren't their foster parents adopting them then? Well, there could be so many reasons. Foster parents may be older and can not make a lifetime commitment. Foster parents may only want to foster to prepare for adoption. And sadly, some people just do it for the money. Only certain children qualify for a stipend after adoption. But will continue to receive the foster care stipend until adoption by another family.
• Since these kids have gone through the above, most of these kids are older.

So, those are the descriptions. I am a very open person and love to educate people on topics that I know a lot about. So, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask. The only thing that I can not talk about are the things specific to the case (why he was removed, mom's plan, etc)

Now, while I hope he stays forever, I know that there is a possiblity that he will not. Now, while it will be devestating, it really will not change the way I treat him or love him while he is here.

12 Weeks today!

Wow, I just can't believe it, I am 12 weeks today. The extreme bloat is now gone and I can once again button my favorite jeans!

I have my next appointment on Tuesday and I will getting the NT scan at that time, which reminds me, I have to call to make sure it is covered.

I have been feeling really well, and having a 3 yr old in the house really makes you forget every little "symptom".

I am praying for a good outcome at the NT scan, especially since I have a history of chormosome problems in pregnancies.

So, 12 weeks is a milestone that I am so glad I hit! Maybe I will even add a ticker one of these days.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

My mom usually calls me on St. Patrick's Day to remind me that xx many years ago I told her I was pregnant. That phone call was 15 years ago. Wow, that is a long time ago. But, I seriously remember it like it was yesterday.

My life has changed so much in 15 years, I just can't believe how fast that has gone.

Colin is now a teenager, I married the love of my life, I now have a little guy in the house, and I am now pregnant again. Even though there have been a lot of unexpected paths in my life, I really would not change a bit of it.

On another note, Little J is settling in just fine. He met the whole family over the weekend and everyone was just as smitten as us. I really can't say anything about his case, but - he might be here for a while. Even if he is not, I will love him with all my heart - no matter what, for as long as he is here.

So far...so Good!!!!

Lil J is great. He is super sweet and really smart. Seriously, he knows all his colors, letters, numbers, learns new words in a second and new songs after the first go around.

He is well behaved too. We only had an issue when we had to leave the park. But, what 3 yr old really wants to leave the park :)

Yesterday was our first full day, and I am trying to figure out a routine. I know we will get it real soon. I really want him to take a nap and I have been successful for the 2 days that he has been here, so I hope that trend sticks around.

Yesterday and today both naps were in the afternoon, so I am going to plan my day around those naps. It was neat, today we actually ventured out! We went to Target and Babies R Us to get some things that we did not realize that we needed. Oh, and a new gate so the pregnant lady does not fall down the stairs while trying to climb over said gate LOL.

But, it was just things like sippy cups, the juice that he likes, kids meds (just in case), kids toothpaste, a binder to keep all his stuff organized, tub toys, etc.

It was cute, I was thinking about getting a cheap umbrella type stroller. I was not sure if a 3 yr old was still in a stroller, but figured that an umbrella stroller is cheap enough that even if we never use it, it would be no big deal.

So, we are in BRU and all of a sudden he says, "that my stroller", lucky for me it was a $20 umbrella stroller. So, I bought it. Of course I had to do the rest of my shopping with him in the stroller and me pushing both the stroller and pulling the cart. Good times.

We are also going to need a new carseat - well, two - one for each car. We had one carseat, but when we installed it, we realized that it only goes upto 40 pounds. Lil J is about 34 pounds, so I guess I should start shopping around. Kind of annoying because I thought the one we had went up to 65 pounds. No big deal though.

So, that is the update. I hope to have time to keep this blog updated, 3 yr olds are a lot of work! (but I love every second of it :)