Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Sorry, long time no blog....

Not much has been going on for me to blog about. Guess I am going through a boring patch lol.

Lil J has been seeing his mom now weekly. Today is the 4th visit in a row. From what I hear from my case worker, it is unusual that she is getting weekly visits. I guess in most cases, a visit would happen every other week. This is done so the parents stay motivated to work their plan - or something????

Well, that might ring true, because other than the visits, mom has done NOTHING in her case plan. And the one thing that she claimed she did, um - well, she forged the completion certificate. Great.

We have court next week and I am going. I have already been told that it is possible that mom does not want me in the court room, and she is entitled to make that request. But as a foster parent, I am also entitled to make a verbal statement or provide a written one.

I plan on writing a statement and will still go and hope I can give a verbal statement. It is at this court date that she is supposed to file the motion to have the case moved to another state. Not that I would not go otherwise, but this one is IMPORTANT!!!

I am hoping that she does not care that I am there, I am curious how the whole process is done. I know that at this point, they are going to go over the case, find out what she is or is not doing, ask how Lil J is doing, etc. But since she is not doing anything, I am sure the judge will rip her a new one.

They have these court dates on some schedule, I guess so the parents are not surprised down the line and claim that they did not know certain things on their plan. It also shows the judge the progress on the case. Yes, a parent gets 12-15 months to work the plan, but if at all the court dates, she has done nothing, well I am sure the judge is less likely to approve an extension for the parent. Extensions do happen, but those are usually for when parents are making an attempt to get their life back together and really just need more time for that to happen. We will see what happens in the future.

But, the drop-offs are now so much easier. For me at least. Lil J still does not seem to have much of an emotional attachment to his mother, and is still excited to see me. Lucky for us, he does not get upset after the visits. But, if he did - it would be something we would handle.

So, that is the boring update on me :)

I was just accused of not taking proper care of Lil J.....

Well, at pick up today the mom said something to me that I was FLABERGASTED about.
She said she did not think I was taken good enough care of him because he skin is always dry at every visit. She has extreme Excema or Psoriasis over most of her visable parts of her arms and hands. So, I can understand her concerns.....but, when asked if he had any special needs, she said no.

But, Lil J came with SUPER dry skin, that you could actually "write" in the dry areas. Also, his scalp was so gross that (totally not kidding), half of his head had a thick layer of dead dry skin.

His skin was so bad that even the doctors made a note of it and gave suggestions how to treat it.

For his head, we use Head & Shoulders 2X a week and the problem is GONE. The skin we use Aveno. And while I admit, it is still pretty dry, it is a million times better than when he came. We have tried several products and this is the best one.

We have court next week and I am SURE it will be something that is brought up. At least now I know that she has issues with this and I can at a minimum tell how much improved it is.

Oh, yeah - and she was so upset about it that she lathered him in sun screen. Guess it was the only lotion she had.


Anonymous said...

In NJ a foster parent is allowed to make a statement, but then have to leave for the actual hearing. Its a shame we foster parents are not allowed to be present so we can REALLY know what is going on in the case! All too often we are told half-truths or not even half-truths about the case.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry about the dry-skin thing. The biomom is probably panicking about the upcoming hearing and nit-picking things to complain about. Dry skin is not something that will make a bit of difference. For what it is worth, I moisturize my baby morning and night and his calves still feel dry-what are you to do? I've tried every product out there. His skin is moisturized- it just dries out quickly!

Ariella said...

I am sorry you are having such issues with bio-mom. I really hope she either cleans up her act so that she can have her son back OR that the courts realize she isn't going to do that and sever her rights. Lil J deserves wonderful parents and if his bio-mom can't do that then someone who is able to SHOULD.

And I personally am hoping you guys get to raise this little boy. He sounds like such a sweetie and it is obvious to me that you guys are doing a great job.

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