Meet Torshia

We have a new member in our family. I would like you to meet Torshia - pronounced Tour - Share - but without the "r" sound. Or, maybe like Tour SHH ai (as in air). I am just assuming it would be spelt Torshia, how else would you spell that???

Anyway. Lil J really really likes yarn. My mother loves to crochet, and one day she was at our house and Lil J was fascinated with the yarn. He also loves spools of thread. I am just assuming that he has never seen it and it is new and cool to him.

My mother always has tons of this in her "bag" and he is just drawn to it. He just does not like the yarn, but the length of it and how it sways, etc.

So, my mother thought it would be cute to make him an octopus and have the legs be really long and have longer "tails" on it. It took her just a few minutes, so it was not really a big deal.

She gave it to him on Sunday and he thought it was funny, but really did not pay much attention to it. My 6 month old niece loved it and Lil J got a kick out of waving it in front of her face.

The thing is as ugly as ugly can get, is a total strangulation hazard, and serves no purpose. Well, she loved it. Maybe it is the super creepy face that my mother added.

We brought it home and all of a sudden, Lil J LOVES the thing. He carries it around all day, asked to sleep with it, and when asked what the name was, he named it Torshia. He has repeated it SEVERAL times the exact same way, I have no idea where it came from. But, that is the name of the octopus. And, yes, he can say octopus.

So, just thought I would share some pics of Torshia, as you can see, it is super ugly, has a creepy face, and is just overall WEIRD.

But, who am I to say what he can and can not love. Oh, and I also included a pic of Lil J - well, at least one I can actually share. That is how he walked around all day today :)

Court Today

Obviously, I can't go in to too many details. But, court went well and the Judge was THRILLED that Lil J was represented by his foster parent. I guess even though foster parents are entitled to be there, most do not show up, some only submit a letter, some just leave it up to the case worker.

The mom's attorney was going to use this court date to ask to have him moved, so you know DAMN sure I was going to be there.

I submitted a letter and attached some pics and the judge was impressed that I put so much thought into the letter and liked that I included photos.

The letter included any issues that Lil J had when he first arrived and how we were working on those issues. I also included things like what he does during the day, that he is a joy, gets along with my 14 yr old, transition is going well, and if the case went to adoption that we would LOVE to have him as a legal family member.

I knew there was a possiblilty that I would not be allowed in the courtroom for long, maybe just to make a statement. But, I was allowed in there for the whole 6.5 minuite "hearing" - I will explain in a minute.

Some funny/awkward/bizzare things happened today.

1 - I got there about an hour early, the court house is about an hour away and with morning traffic it could take MUCH longer, so I gave myself plenty of time.

I pull into a parking space and hear a knock on my window.......it is his mother!!! Holy crap, how do I not talk to her for the next hour. I start to freak out. Yes, I have met the mother before, yada yada yada, but I did not want to be in conversation with her until court. I said hello, etc and then when she looked away for a second, I pretended to answer my phone. Yeah, I know, bad - but whatever. She told me she had to find her attorney and I took that chance to move my car around the corner lol.

I had to move my car anyway because the spot I was in was only a 1 hour spot, and I knew we would be in there for more than that and I did not want to have to leave to feed the meter. Plus, I did not want her to come out and start chatting with me.

2 - There are several cases scheduled at the same time, so I knew it was possible that we would have to wait a while. So, all of a sudden, the mother comes up to me and the caseworker and says, "yeah, um - just got a phone call. I have to leave. I have an emergency that I have to take care of" Now, mind you - she has no car, and would need to walk to the train station and get a train. The trains are not like a subway, so she could be waiting for a while for the next train. Also - she lives about 3-4 hours by train from the court house.

So, whatever was so important, she LEFT!!!!! But, get this, she tells us this, but does not tell her attorney. So, when we were finally called in, the attorney had no idea she was not coming back.

What the Hell!!!???? But, the judge is apparently very pro-parent, so he marked her as absent with an excuse. Because she was there at the court time.

I don't know, maybe it is just me - but I would NOT have left. Expecially since your only mode of transportation is a train that you do not even have a schedule for. If you had a car, maybe. Or maybe if you were not so far away. But, also - if it was a TRUE emergency, wouldn't you have told your attorney first????

So, because mom could not object to me being in the room, I was there for the whole thing.

Again, the Judge was happy that I was there, asked a few questions that the law guardian brought up, etc. Seriously, I spoke for about 30 seconds total. But, I am glad that I had the written statement :)

Next court date is um, my due date.....so I guess I will have to miss that one unless I deliver way early.

Oh - and the attorney did ask for the case to be moved and the judge said, OK, I will put the request in the file and will address it at another time.

So, overalll, it was a good day.

100 days to go...

I totally logged on to write a very different post. But, when I logged on, I noticed that I have only 100 days left until my due date.

Um, wow. 100 days left. And I can't believe that I did not even know it.

I remember when I was planning my wedding, 100 days seemed right around the corner, but still with SO much left to do.

But, yet - 100 days seems really far away still. I am finally feeling movement on a semi-regular basis, still not enough for anyone other than me to notice. I am finally showing. And not kinda showing, but REALLY showing. Of course I look more pregnant while wearing a maternity shirt. But lucky for me, most of my regular shirts still fit.

I really need to get a pair of capris or something other than jeans, which I only have one pair of anyway. It is just getting pretty hot here and jeans are not gonna cut it much longer. I did go and try on a bunch of stuff last week, but I hated them all. Seriously, when are tapered capris ever a good thing?

Anyway, so, I have 100 days left, and tomorrow I will have even less than that.

So, the other topics will have to wait. To ease the suspense, there were two:

- Court tomorrow
- Don't know the sex, probably won't ever have a name.

At least I will have 2 more days of blog posts :)

Sorry, long time no blog....

Not much has been going on for me to blog about. Guess I am going through a boring patch lol.

Lil J has been seeing his mom now weekly. Today is the 4th visit in a row. From what I hear from my case worker, it is unusual that she is getting weekly visits. I guess in most cases, a visit would happen every other week. This is done so the parents stay motivated to work their plan - or something????

Well, that might ring true, because other than the visits, mom has done NOTHING in her case plan. And the one thing that she claimed she did, um - well, she forged the completion certificate. Great.

We have court next week and I am going. I have already been told that it is possible that mom does not want me in the court room, and she is entitled to make that request. But as a foster parent, I am also entitled to make a verbal statement or provide a written one.

I plan on writing a statement and will still go and hope I can give a verbal statement. It is at this court date that she is supposed to file the motion to have the case moved to another state. Not that I would not go otherwise, but this one is IMPORTANT!!!

I am hoping that she does not care that I am there, I am curious how the whole process is done. I know that at this point, they are going to go over the case, find out what she is or is not doing, ask how Lil J is doing, etc. But since she is not doing anything, I am sure the judge will rip her a new one.

They have these court dates on some schedule, I guess so the parents are not surprised down the line and claim that they did not know certain things on their plan. It also shows the judge the progress on the case. Yes, a parent gets 12-15 months to work the plan, but if at all the court dates, she has done nothing, well I am sure the judge is less likely to approve an extension for the parent. Extensions do happen, but those are usually for when parents are making an attempt to get their life back together and really just need more time for that to happen. We will see what happens in the future.

But, the drop-offs are now so much easier. For me at least. Lil J still does not seem to have much of an emotional attachment to his mother, and is still excited to see me. Lucky for us, he does not get upset after the visits. But, if he did - it would be something we would handle.

So, that is the boring update on me :)

VISIT UPDATE:
I was just accused of not taking proper care of Lil J.....

Well, at pick up today the mom said something to me that I was FLABERGASTED about.
She said she did not think I was taken good enough care of him because he skin is always dry at every visit. She has extreme Excema or Psoriasis over most of her visable parts of her arms and hands. So, I can understand her concerns.....but, when asked if he had any special needs, she said no.

But, Lil J came with SUPER dry skin, that you could actually "write" in the dry areas. Also, his scalp was so gross that (totally not kidding), half of his head had a thick layer of dead dry skin.

His skin was so bad that even the doctors made a note of it and gave suggestions how to treat it.

For his head, we use Head & Shoulders 2X a week and the problem is GONE. The skin we use Aveno. And while I admit, it is still pretty dry, it is a million times better than when he came. We have tried several products and this is the best one.

We have court next week and I am SURE it will be something that is brought up. At least now I know that she has issues with this and I can at a minimum tell how much improved it is.

Oh, yeah - and she was so upset about it that she lathered him in sun screen. Guess it was the only lotion she had.

24 Weeks

I am 24 weeks pregnant today - this is a big day for me. Some people will look at the title and think there is nothing big deal about being 24 weeks pregnant.

At 24 weeks, you are not entering the 3rd trimester, you have already had your "big" ultrasound, the sex of the baby has long been determined, most people will probably be showing by now, and even probably have felt movement.

So, what is so special about 24 weeks?

At 24 weeks, the baby is considered viable on the outside. Now, would I ever wish someone to have a baby at 24 weeks, no. But, it is at this point, that if the baby was in fact born, the doctors could possibly save them.

Yes, the baby would be in a NICU for months, many months of touch and go situations, many months of uncertainty. But, the baby would have a CHANCE.

I am planning on staying pregnant for many many more weeks, but just knowing that we have a chance is huge for me.

100% Diaper Free

I wish you could see the excitement on my face as I type this. We are 100% diaper free!

We have been training Lil J since he arrived in March. It was much harder than when I trained Colin. He would be great for a while, and then not. It was just really frustrating.

After a while, we decided to do potty training boot camp. Basically, ready or not, you put the kid in underwear - sure you should expect accidents, but the kids hate being wet, so if they are ready, then the kid (supposedly) should train in a week.

Not this kid. I was actually getting pretty frustrated with changing wet clothes several times a day, that after almost a week of boot camp, I went back to diapers (well, pull ups to be exact).

I still had him go on the potty often, but I really said to myself, "don't get upset if he pees (or poops) in the diaper" Well, we did this for a few more weeks - but also was really reinforcing going on the potty.

We worked our way up to 2.5 hours in between potty visits, which is super! He has been dry overnight and when napping for weeks now.

So, last week, I decided that it was time. He was consistently going in potty, and would have the same pull-up on all day. Not really sure why I picked the day I did, I still have about 1/2 a pack of diapers left, so "I don't have any more" was not the reason.

Well, whatever the reason - it is working. Not only has he NOT had one accident, but he is telling me when he has to poop. He is still not really telling me when he has to pee, but we go to the potty every 2.5 hours or so.

I will slowly add more time in between potty visits, and I am sure he will tell me soon enough.

And this is the biggest of news!!!!! No diapers means no more changing poopy diapers, which means no more getting sick from changing poopy diapers.

I wish that would mean that I have stopped throwing up, but it does not - now I am just dry heaving in the morning, or throwing up after I take a pill. Totally not fair to still be puking at 24 (almost) weeks.

So, yay - NO MORE DIAPERS!!!!!

Teenager Bragging

I am sure he will be thrilled that I am sharing, but what are moms for anyway???

Colin's hair is getting pretty long, it has officially been one year since he got it cut. It started as a crew-cut. The funny thing is that the front is straight, but the back is curly. As least now it is not so much in the "in-between" stage. Not really my favorite hair style, but that is basically how all the boys wear it where I live. Whatever, as long as he keeps it clean, I guess I am OK with it.

Oh, and because he is just so damn cool, it took a few shots to actually get a smile lol.

2 Updates

Pregnancy Update:
I called the doc because of the lack of feeling - oh, yeah, and I think I am having contractions (hoping just Braxton Hicks), some spotting the other day, and my urine is a weird dark orange color. So, I am going today instead of Friday. I will update when I get back.

Appointment Update:
The baby is fine. My office has you collect urine at home because they like first morning urine. Well, since I made the appointment at 9am this morning, I had obviously already peed. So, I used the urine from the next time I went to the bathroom. Again, a weird dark orange color.

I go to the docs, give them my urine and they ask, "this is your urine??? looks like fruit juice" Thanks, that is making me feel better.

They dip the urine, I have blood in my urine, a measurable amount, not just a trace. And I have some bacteria. Yup - bladder/Urinary Tract infection.

The infection is the reason for the odd colored urine, the doc said it could also be the reason for the braxton hicks, and the blood was probably from my urethra, not the cervix or uterus.

THANK GOD!

She did a internal exam (ouch) and found no blood and my cervix was perfect. She also did a heatbeat check and found the heartbeat right away and commented that the baby was moving like crazy. How she got that from a doppler, I have no clue - but as she was saying it, I could still not feel anything. She reassured me that it is totally normal and I should be able to feel something soon.

She also basically said that she was glad I listened to my gut feeling, because if I waited until my appointment on Friday, I would have probably developed the painful symptoms of the UTI. She gave me some meds and hopefully it is clear up.

So, everything is A-OK :)

Oh yeah - I did gain 2 pounds. Which brings me up to a negative 3 since seeing the OB and negative 7 since getting my BFP. Basically, I am not even at my pre-preg weight yet.

Lil J:
He is scheduled for another visit today. I got feedback from the last visit. Apparently, his mother is mad that Lil J calls me mommy. Whatever, I am made that she does not take care of her kid.

The caseworker had to get special permission or some kind of grant to pay for her train fare. Not sure if they will be able to pay for it all the time and I also don't know if it is just the train fare for trains in our state.

Anyway, last week, the worker called when she was about 20 minutes away. I thought the same would have happened this week as well. Well, no call yet, and if the schedule was the same as last time, I should have gotten a call about 20 minutes ago.

Of course I do not have the number of the aide that is doing the transportation, I guess I will just have to wait and hope for a call soon. If I do get a call by noon - well, I will call my case worker and find out the status. Especially since I have my OB appoint later this afternoon - I really can't wait around all day.

Again, I will update as I get more info on both topics.

Lil J Update:
The visit went as planned. I was MUCH better emotionally than I was last week. Actually, I did not shed a tear at all. People said it would get better, I guess just the first one was so hard.

Again, Lil J showed no emotions toward her. Yes, he did recognize her and did not cry when I left. But there was nothing obvious that he actually knew who she was. When I picked him up, he again did the "mommy, mommy" thing. Whatever, he has bonded to me, and I sure as hell am not going to tell him that his actions are wrong.

When I get there, his mom asked if I had 5 minutes, the way she asked it, it sounded like she wanted to speak to me in private. Nope, she had been trying to get in touch with her boyfriend for the entire length of the visit because she wanted Lil J to talk to him.

Disclaimer - the next set of info is not confidential to his case, the boyfriend has nothing to do with her case plan and therefore things she tells me about him can be shared.

The mom flat out says in a VERY casual way, "yeah, I have been trying to reach him, but you know, he is in jail so it is kinda hard to get a hold of him"

Um, yeah -
1) thanks for sharing; and
2) Lil J really needs to hear that.

So, she does get him and they chat for a bit. Oh, have I mentioned that the boyfriend and my husband have the same name. To say Lil J was confused on the phone would be an understatement.

Visits are now scheduled as a weekly thing. We will see how it goes.

Not really feeling movement

I post a little while ago that I thought I had felt some movement. It felt like bubbles popping. I was kinda excited that this was the start of movement, but I really don't think so. I have not had these feeling since then. Sometimes I think I feel something, but then I realize that it is just me breathing, not movement.

I keep reading here and there that "people" have felt movement themselves at xyz weeks and their husband could feel movement at xyz weeks.

Well, at a few days shy of 23 weeks, you would think that at a minimum I would feel movement myself. Let alone my husband as well.

I know every pregnancy is different and I should not compare - but it makes me nervous not to feel anything. Yes, I know - there are women out there that have the plancenta in a certain spot and therefore never feel anything. Who knows, I might be one of those women.

I guess I felt like I was gettting to a point that daily movement would be a daily reassurance that the pregnancy was still viable. And now with no sense of movement, it is doing the total opposite.

I have an OB appointment on Friday, not sure if I should call them sooner just to see if I can come in for a quick heartbeat check. At least that would settle my nerves a bit.

Maybe just typing this will kick start things :)