NT Scan - take 2

I went today for the second attempt of the NT scan. The baby was not is a good position last week to take any measurements, so we had to go back again today.

If it did not happen today, then I would only be able to get the bloodwork portion of the test done. It has to be done before 14 weeks, and I will be 14 weeks on Thursday. So, needless to say, I was so happy that the baby was in a good position this time.

The tech scanned for a while, trying to get just the right shot. She was able to take measurements and the baby measured a perfect 13w5d. :) She was also able to get the NT measurement of 1.7. From everything that I have read, anything under 2.0 is considered good. She was also able to see the nasal bone, which is a good thing (In general, a down's baby does not have a prominent nasal bone). So, they took my blood and I guess I will get the results when I go back in 2 weeks.

I also had my 1 hour glucose test. Yummy. It actually was not too bad, really just tasted like super sweet orange soda - it was cold, so that made it easier to drink. I had to fast for 4 hours before the test, and they were running behind. So, by the time I did the test at around 3:30, I had not eaten since 9AM. I was actually starting to get the shakes. So, I am sure my numbers are going to be crappy. I have a history of very low blood sugar, I hope that is not the case again.

I did gain back 2 of the 5 pounds that I lost last time. So, as of right now, I am still -3 pounds.

So, there is my appointment update :)

According to my mom, I am the only pregnant woman EVER

I love my mom, but she is being a total pain in the ASS! I understand that she wants what is best for me, but she is treating me like I am the rare woman that is pregnant.

I took her out to lunch yesterday. She asked how I was feeling, I told her that the past few days have been rough, still getting sick, etc. She replied, "well, why haven't you called the doctor?!?!?!" Yeah, ok, Mom - I must be the only one that has ever not felt well during pregnancy. I was not like I was throwing up 10 times a day, running a fever, passing out, etc. just normal pregnancy stuff. Why would I call the doc because I am having normal pregnancy stuff. Could you imagine the doc if I called.

Me: Um, hello., Yes - I have not been feeling well. Been throwing up 1-2 times a day.
Doc: Um, yeah - AND????

Besides, I am seeing the doc again tomorrow, so any concerns would be addressed then.

She also thinks that there has never been another mom in the world that had to juggle a toddler while being pregnant. Everything thing I did yesterday, or every part of a conversation, she would say this or that. I was talking about naps, and she actually YELLED at me that I should be taking a nap each and every day. yeah - ok Mom. Oh, and um, didn't you have 3 kids under 3 years old at one point.

We went to the mall and Lil J was by my mom, I was about 15 feet away. Lil J looked around and realized that I was not right there. Yeah, he totally freaked out!!!! He saw me and ran into my arms. Of course I picked him up right away. He had the look of sheer terror in his face. She tells me that I should not have picked him up, but rather just said, "it is OK, mom is right here" Whatever. It is not like I am doing toddler weight lifting throughout the day. And, I have limited the amount of time I do pick him up. I either make him climb up on the couch where I give him lots of hugs and kisses, or I go down to the floor. In that situation, he needed to be picked up.

Again, I knows she wants the best for me, but come on.

I love him so much already....

Lil J was placed with us about 2.5 weeks ago. Right now, he is a foster child. If the mom does not work her court ordered plan, then it is possible that we would be able to adopt him.

This process can take a long time, about 2+ years.

To date, mom has not been working her plan at all. Part of her plan includes visits. So, she has not seen Lil J in about a month (another family had him before me).

Anyway, his case worker called me yesterday and asked if I can make a call to the mom (blocked number of course), because she will be "unavailable" for a period of 28 days to 3 months.

Since it is in our "contract" that we will support reunification, I knew I would have to make the call.

We did just that, he talked to her like he would talk to anyone else, not really getting the idea that it was mom on the phone. After they chatted, she spoke to me for a minute or two. What she said really got to me.

She thanked me for taking care of her son, that she would pray for me everyday, that I am an angel that she will never forget, she misses and loves Lil J very much, etc. I wished her the best of luck and we hung up.

I got off the phone and cried and cried. I know that there is always a possibilities of kids going back, and I know that there the possibility that they will not. I knew I would love him no matter what.

But in 2 weeks, I have grown so attached to him. I love him like he is my own - and I know it will be devestating if he goes back to mom.

I have always said that I will never fault a mom for working her plan and gettting her child back, and that I am here to love and care for any child that comes into my care.

They want us to love these kids, make them feel like part of the family. We have done just that. But, boy does it hurt to know that he could go back.

+++++++ I just want to add that I KNOW if he goes back to mom, it is the best thing for him. But, it still hurts just thinking about it++++++++

3 kids - 3 different fathers

Sounds like an episode of jerry Springer. But, in reality, in the fall, I will have 3 kids with 3 different fathers. And, well, 2 different mothers lol. This of course is assuming that Lil J is still with us.

My cousin was so kind to point that out to me this morning. I did not even think about it until she said something. I guess mainly because I never thought of the fact that Colin will not have the same father as the baby coming in the fall. In my mind, Frank is Colin's dad. He is the only dad he really knows.

Yes, Colin sees his father a few times a year. But does that really make him a dad - um, I think not.

So, my life is now a Jerry Springer show. Oh, well - would not change a thing.

Interesting OB Appointment

Had my NT scan today. Well, attempted it at least. The NT scan measures the thickness on the back of the neck, and it somehow determines if you are at a higher risk of certain problems (down's , tri 18)

I was really nervous about it, not really because of the measurements, but I was hoping there was still a heartbeat. So - heartbeat was great! 167 beats per minute - yay.

But, the baby did not cooperate at all, so there was no measurements taken - well, none as far as the NT Scan goes.

The baby is measuring just fine, and looks like your typical alien baby lol. I guess I should get myself a ticker :)

Here are the interesting things.

During the u/s, the tech kept asking me if I had any bleeding in the beginning of this pregnancy. I did - A LOT. I told her my RE could not find the source of the bleeding, and when it was.
Honestly, I did not think much about this conversation.

So, after the scan I meet with the doctor. She was able to tell me the source of the bleeding.....um, A TWIN!

It only grew to about 6w3d and was implanted very very high in my uterus. She said that it had collapsed on it self and may or may not reabsorb. She does not think it will be a problem with the rest of the pregnancy. Holy Moly - I never got twins with IF treatments, get pregnant on my own and had twins.

It was kinda weird knowing that. How the RE did not see that??? I have no idea. I had my first scan at 5W6D, and even another at 6W3D, and he did not see it. Kinda weird.

Another interesting thing - I cracked a rib by throwing up. I have been getting sick a lot - about 3 times a day. Yesterday, all of a sudden, I had this intense pain in my side. Really hurts to take a deep breathe, hurts to cough, etc. Doc said she can take x-rays (duh), but it pretty sure that I cracked a rib.

Yet another - all of the throwing up has made me loose 5 pounds in 2.5 weeks.

I have to go back next week to try the scan again.

Mommy Mobile

Spent almost 5 hours at a car dealership today, we are getting a 2007 Dodge Caravan in White. It has damage on the car which the dealership will fix before we get it. The whole process is a big pain in the ASS!!!!

Between getting what I wanted for my car, getting the price of the car lowered, and then the financing - well, it took FOREVER.

The damage is minor, a huge scratch from the hood to the trunk, and the hubcaps are broken. Because of this damage, the front fender was pushed in a little and the front passenger door does not open. All things will be fixed before we pick it up.

I am not thrilled with the color, even tried to get that worked in the deal, especially since they had to do body work anyway, that was a NO.

So, unless someone wants to give me the gift of a paint job (yeah right), I will just have to get used to the white. Like the sales guy said, you can't tell what color it is when you are driving it. It is not horrible, just not something I would ever pick. I also am not thrilled with the black stripe, but we did get a pretty good price, and they will pay off my current car - so I guess I will deal with it.

I looked a few used vans, and I liked this one the best because of the way the 2nd row was. It is a bench, but it is not centered so it is very easy to get to the 3rd row. I really thought I wanted captains chairs for the second row, but once I tried it out, I hated it. For me, the bench second seating will work the best for me. Again, nothing fancy - no dvd, no auto doors, etc - but I did not want those things anyway.

Here is a pic - not of the actual car, just a photo I found on-line.

More Q&A about Foster Care and Fost/Adopt

I LOVE getting questions about things I know lots about. I like to answer them well and then add the qustion and answer to this blog. I have always said, "Education breeds awareness" Some of this might have already been covered, but I figured I would had it here as well.

Question: I was curious if Little J was a placement that you are fostering for a while- or if he is a foster that will end up in adoption- or if that part is up in the air, etc?

Answer: Well, we were licensed for foster care, fost/adopt, and straight aoption. There are slight differences in each one. Of course we would love a long term (forever) placement, but we wanted kids in the house so we were willing to take other placements than straight adopt. In NJ, according to statistics, about 60% of foster kids DO NOT go back. So, we knew that we would have a good shot of getting a forever kid.

As for our placement - without giving too many details, he will probably be here for a while, if not forever. He was removed and placed in another home. That home was just not a good placement for him (2 kids the same age that did not get along). The mom is in a bad situation right now and has a lot of BIG things in her plan.

Here is a brief description of all options

Foster Care

• Goal is ALWAYS reunification with parents - unless those parents committed a crime against that child. In that case, it is would probably be fost / adopt
• A parent has 12-15 months to work their plan that is ordered by a judge (rehab, get a job, get an apartment, take parenting classes, etc) If after that time, a judge determines if the child should be returned to a parent (sometimes it is earlier than the 12-15 mths). If the child can not be returned, then the judge declares that parental rights should be terminated and the current foster parents have "first dibbs" to adopt the child. After this time, it is about another 6 months before rights are terminated and then another 6 months for the adoption to be final. This means that a child can be in our home for about 2 years before adoption is final. :(
• A parent has the right at anytime to decide to term her own rights - then the timeline is quicker

Fost / Adopt

• Basically the same as foster care - but usually someone determine that the child has lower legal risk than other placements. It may not be the first time in care, the mom may have had other kids taken away, the mom might have gone missing, the mom might be in jail for a serious crime, there may have been a crime against the child, etci
• f a child had been removed before and then returned to a parent, well - that time still counts toward the 12-15 months. So, if there is very little time left of the that time, a child might be considered fost/adopt
• Just because a worker (or a judge) THINKS that there is little risk of a child being returned to a parent, the parent still has the right to work the plan. So, even though everyone thought it would move toward adoption, there is no guarantee. Even on crimes against the child - family might step up.

Adoption

• There are children that are available for straight adoption - these are the kids that have already gone through the above.
• Why aren't their foster parents adopting them then? Well, there could be so many reasons. Foster parents may be older and can not make a lifetime commitment. Foster parents may only want to foster to prepare for adoption. And sadly, some people just do it for the money. Only certain children qualify for a stipend after adoption. But will continue to receive the foster care stipend until adoption by another family.
• Since these kids have gone through the above, most of these kids are older.

So, those are the descriptions. I am a very open person and love to educate people on topics that I know a lot about. So, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask. The only thing that I can not talk about are the things specific to the case (why he was removed, mom's plan, etc)

Now, while I hope he stays forever, I know that there is a possiblity that he will not. Now, while it will be devestating, it really will not change the way I treat him or love him while he is here.