Monday, October 13, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
My SIL got married yesterday
My SIL got married yesterday. She really had great weather and the fall leaves really look great in the pictures. I followed them to the park, mainly to keep my husband company, but took some great pics (in my opinion of course). I do not pretend to be a great photographer, but some of these came out great. I took 139 pictures - a lot that the photographer did not. i played around with the Black/White and sepia too.
Enjoy!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Um, did we just make a decision?
Wait a sec, did we just make a decision?
So, I got up the nerve to talk to my neighbor - she does indeed work for DYFS (I was not 100% sure) and she knew everything about Foster / Adoption.
I went across the street and told her about trying for 2 years, 3 losses, yada yada yada, and then said that we were considering adoption as one of our options.
OK - backtrack to last night -
My husband and I had a great chat last night. We talked about our options (adoption and/or IVF with PGD), talked about the costs, talked about feelings, talked about what we want in the end, talked about types of children, how many children, talked and talked and talked.
We really are on the same page with regards to adoption, he said that he really wants to be a father for so many reasons, and not one of them is specifically is about blood. What a relief, because the more I thought about it, the more I agreed. It is most important to be a mom and dad to a child, that does not mean that it has to be a biological child.
We also talked about the IVF, we are still BOTH on the fence about that one. I know there are no guarantees in life and especially not in IF, but it is a lot of money to spend, money that we don't really have. He of course joked that we just wouldn't pay our property taxes for 3/4 of the year and it should be fine. Yeah, OK.
We decided that even if we did do IVF, we would do adoption at the same time. This way we could do all the things needed (homestudy, checks, paperwork, etc, etc, etc) while we were doing the IVF cycle, and if things did not work out, then we would be ahead of the game. And if things did work out, then it would be a double blessing.
- Enough of back-track story -
Ok, so I talk to my neighbor. She gives me lots and lots of info. She tells me that we would be good candidates because we are a 2 parent family, already raised a child, good family, location, etc, etc. That was a nice bonus to hear.
She was able to give me lots of info about the types of kids, how to increase our chances of placement (accepting either gender, siblings, etc), talked about the process, timeframe, etc.
It was a great chat. She said that she will gather lots of info tomorrow and leave it for me. She also reminded me that I should put her name as a reference. Not that it would give us preferential treatment, but it may possibly speed up the process. It totally works in my favor, because she said when it does become time to place a child, she already has a personal relationship with me and would probably already know if it would be a good placement.
We talked for about a half hour and I really feel like I was able to get so much info.
When my husband came home and we talked about my conversation, he seemed really impressed with the information and said, "It is a great starting point"
Um, did we just make a decision? Is this our path to parenthood?
So, I got up the nerve to talk to my neighbor - she does indeed work for DYFS (I was not 100% sure) and she knew everything about Foster / Adoption.
I went across the street and told her about trying for 2 years, 3 losses, yada yada yada, and then said that we were considering adoption as one of our options.
OK - backtrack to last night -
My husband and I had a great chat last night. We talked about our options (adoption and/or IVF with PGD), talked about the costs, talked about feelings, talked about what we want in the end, talked about types of children, how many children, talked and talked and talked.
We really are on the same page with regards to adoption, he said that he really wants to be a father for so many reasons, and not one of them is specifically is about blood. What a relief, because the more I thought about it, the more I agreed. It is most important to be a mom and dad to a child, that does not mean that it has to be a biological child.
We also talked about the IVF, we are still BOTH on the fence about that one. I know there are no guarantees in life and especially not in IF, but it is a lot of money to spend, money that we don't really have. He of course joked that we just wouldn't pay our property taxes for 3/4 of the year and it should be fine. Yeah, OK.
We decided that even if we did do IVF, we would do adoption at the same time. This way we could do all the things needed (homestudy, checks, paperwork, etc, etc, etc) while we were doing the IVF cycle, and if things did not work out, then we would be ahead of the game. And if things did work out, then it would be a double blessing.
- Enough of back-track story -
Ok, so I talk to my neighbor. She gives me lots and lots of info. She tells me that we would be good candidates because we are a 2 parent family, already raised a child, good family, location, etc, etc. That was a nice bonus to hear.
She was able to give me lots of info about the types of kids, how to increase our chances of placement (accepting either gender, siblings, etc), talked about the process, timeframe, etc.
It was a great chat. She said that she will gather lots of info tomorrow and leave it for me. She also reminded me that I should put her name as a reference. Not that it would give us preferential treatment, but it may possibly speed up the process. It totally works in my favor, because she said when it does become time to place a child, she already has a personal relationship with me and would probably already know if it would be a good placement.
We talked for about a half hour and I really feel like I was able to get so much info.
When my husband came home and we talked about my conversation, he seemed really impressed with the information and said, "It is a great starting point"
Um, did we just make a decision? Is this our path to parenthood?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Follow up, but still no answers (LONG)
I am back from my follow-up, but that does not mean that I have any answers.
The short story - RE suggests IVF with PGD. PGD = Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis
The long story:
The RE does not have an answer why I have had 3 losses. At this point, any pregnancy (on our own or IUI) has a 30% chance of m/c. 30%! That is high. This is strictly based on my history, most women have a 15% of m/c in any given pregnancy, so my odds are double that. At this point, he thinks there is a strong possibility that it is embryo quality.
Embryo quality - must be FSH, right? Nope. I asked about my FSH for the past 4 cycles - he said they were all between 4 and 5. These numbers are awesome for those that don't know. If I was creeping close to 10, then maybe that was a problem.
Embryo quality - could be age, right? At 34 (and normal hormone levels through-out), my RE thinks this is BS.
Embryo quality - well, could just be crappy eggs. The only way to know is PGD.
The RE explained the whole IVF PGD process to me and also advised that it might be better to wait until the new year (our plan anyway). Now, my clinic has hours every single day of the year - except Christmas. But, even though they have hours, the genetic lab where they have to send my embryos does not work every day. In fact, it might be possible that I go all the way to retrieval and everyone at the genetics lab in on vacation for the holidays.
He basically said that unless we start the IVF process with the next cycle, then we might be caught in a bind. He also said that he tells all his patients the same thing, not just me.
If we do IVF, we would be waiting until Jan at the earliest anyway. At least that is one less thing to stress out about.
He wanted to stress to me that I have to be prepared for good and bad news with PGD. Well, what does that mean. Basically, I might be given info that SUCKS. For example, let's use 15 eggs at retrieval day.
If 15 eggs are mature and make 15 embryos, it is possible that 14 are abnormal and only one is good. In that case, it seems worth it that we did the PGD, because we would only be putting back the perfect one. Sounds like a good thing, right. Not really.
What about the other 14? That is not good news. In math terms, it would mean that 93% of the embryos were bad. And that in general I have crappy eggs. Of course they would still transfer the perfect one and hope for the best. But, to me, that means not doing IVF again after that.
The main reason why my RE is saying the PGD will be the best is the fact that at least one of my m/c was due to chromosome issues (trisomy 22). One was inconclusive and one there was no testing done. We had the RPL panel done and the only thing that came back is MTHFR - will go into that later. Also, both my husband and I kryotyping done. I am not 100% sure what this is, but I know it is something to do with chromosomes. We were both 100% perfect. We never had his actual sperm tested for anything other than the SA, which came back great. All IUI numbers have been great as well.
I could also go into IVF w/ PGD and come out with 15 perfect embryos. Obviously, we would not transfer 15, but then we would have some for possible freezing. The RE also reminded me that even transferring perfect embryo(s) does not guarantee a pregnancy or a successful pregnancy.
In the case of a non-successful pregnancy after IVF, there can still be unexplained reasons for the loss. I did ask about the MTHFR and the low progesterone. He assured me that 1)prometrium supp taken vaginally do not appear in blood; and 2) I don't have the MTHFR that is the blood clotting version. All of my homocysteine levels have been way under the "normal" range. This means that heparin or lovenex is not the answer.
The RE also reminded me that sometimes with PGD, the embryo gets a little damaged, and sometimes this damage prevents proper implantation. So it is like a catch 22. you do the PGD to get the best embryos, but doing that there is a slight chance that perfect or not, it will not implant. The chance is slight though.
Another major obstacle is the cost.
TRUST ME - I am grateful that insurance is paying for a lot of my treatments. I know there are couples out there that are paying for everything out of pocket. I know that what I have to pay out is pennies compared to what other have already paid. However, the cost is still there. And, it is going to be a lot of money - even with insurance. So, please do not think I am complaining about the cost - but this is something we will have to save for and budget for. And yes - I do know that without insurance, IVF would not even be a possibility as it would cost about $16,000 (or more). I am VERY grateful for the opportunity to live in a state mandate state and have great insurance.
I found out the PGD is covered by insurance - kind of. The cost of the biopsy (through my clinic) is covered. But, the transportation to the genetics lab is not. Plus the genetics lab does not take any insurance payments. Yes, there is a possibility that I can submit the paid invoice to the insurance company and might be reimbursed - especially since they said that the PGD was covered.
So, here are the costs that I will have to pay:
$40 - CD3 office visit - insurance co-pay
$200 - Injectable meds (follistim, cetrotide, menopur, ovidrel) - insurance co-pays
$160 - 4 additional office visits before retreival (I am guessing) - insurance co-pays
$500 - anesthesiologist (retrieval)- does not take insurance - may be able to get reimbursed
$500 - Embryo Transportation fee to the Genetics Lab - insurance does not cover
$2800 - PGD for 12 chromosomes (Aneuploidy screening)
$40 - transfer of embryos - insurance co-pay
$1150 - Embryo freezing and one year storage - insurance does not cover
$20 - Folgard Rx - Insurance Co-Pay
$40 - Prometrium Rx - Insurance Co-Pay
$40 - Progesterone check - office visit - Insurance co-pay
_____
$5490 - Total
Of that total - it is possible that we might be able to be reimbursed $3300. And if we decided not to freeze any embryos, that would reduce the total by $1150 as well. But, if you think about it - if we did not freeze any, and decided to do IVF again, then we would have to pay for the PGD again. I guess if we went through that whole pgd process, it would be stupid not to freeze the good ones.
This amount does not include any pregnancy office visits if we were so lucky to get pregnant.
That is a lot of money - money that we really do not have.
I am going to be talking to my husband tonight - so he can basically see all the numbers himself.
So, now we have to decide if IVF is something we want to do. We might possibly seeks other options (adoption) at the same time as other medical treatments - who knows.
So, if you made it this far, thanks for reading :)
Oh - and as a PS - I totally forgot to ask the RE is he could Rx something to help me sleep - even though I totally wrote it down.
The short story - RE suggests IVF with PGD. PGD = Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis
The long story:
The RE does not have an answer why I have had 3 losses. At this point, any pregnancy (on our own or IUI) has a 30% chance of m/c. 30%! That is high. This is strictly based on my history, most women have a 15% of m/c in any given pregnancy, so my odds are double that. At this point, he thinks there is a strong possibility that it is embryo quality.
Embryo quality - must be FSH, right? Nope. I asked about my FSH for the past 4 cycles - he said they were all between 4 and 5. These numbers are awesome for those that don't know. If I was creeping close to 10, then maybe that was a problem.
Embryo quality - could be age, right? At 34 (and normal hormone levels through-out), my RE thinks this is BS.
Embryo quality - well, could just be crappy eggs. The only way to know is PGD.
The RE explained the whole IVF PGD process to me and also advised that it might be better to wait until the new year (our plan anyway). Now, my clinic has hours every single day of the year - except Christmas. But, even though they have hours, the genetic lab where they have to send my embryos does not work every day. In fact, it might be possible that I go all the way to retrieval and everyone at the genetics lab in on vacation for the holidays.
He basically said that unless we start the IVF process with the next cycle, then we might be caught in a bind. He also said that he tells all his patients the same thing, not just me.
If we do IVF, we would be waiting until Jan at the earliest anyway. At least that is one less thing to stress out about.
He wanted to stress to me that I have to be prepared for good and bad news with PGD. Well, what does that mean. Basically, I might be given info that SUCKS. For example, let's use 15 eggs at retrieval day.
If 15 eggs are mature and make 15 embryos, it is possible that 14 are abnormal and only one is good. In that case, it seems worth it that we did the PGD, because we would only be putting back the perfect one. Sounds like a good thing, right. Not really.
What about the other 14? That is not good news. In math terms, it would mean that 93% of the embryos were bad. And that in general I have crappy eggs. Of course they would still transfer the perfect one and hope for the best. But, to me, that means not doing IVF again after that.
The main reason why my RE is saying the PGD will be the best is the fact that at least one of my m/c was due to chromosome issues (trisomy 22). One was inconclusive and one there was no testing done. We had the RPL panel done and the only thing that came back is MTHFR - will go into that later. Also, both my husband and I kryotyping done. I am not 100% sure what this is, but I know it is something to do with chromosomes. We were both 100% perfect. We never had his actual sperm tested for anything other than the SA, which came back great. All IUI numbers have been great as well.
I could also go into IVF w/ PGD and come out with 15 perfect embryos. Obviously, we would not transfer 15, but then we would have some for possible freezing. The RE also reminded me that even transferring perfect embryo(s) does not guarantee a pregnancy or a successful pregnancy.
In the case of a non-successful pregnancy after IVF, there can still be unexplained reasons for the loss. I did ask about the MTHFR and the low progesterone. He assured me that 1)prometrium supp taken vaginally do not appear in blood; and 2) I don't have the MTHFR that is the blood clotting version. All of my homocysteine levels have been way under the "normal" range. This means that heparin or lovenex is not the answer.
The RE also reminded me that sometimes with PGD, the embryo gets a little damaged, and sometimes this damage prevents proper implantation. So it is like a catch 22. you do the PGD to get the best embryos, but doing that there is a slight chance that perfect or not, it will not implant. The chance is slight though.
Another major obstacle is the cost.
TRUST ME - I am grateful that insurance is paying for a lot of my treatments. I know there are couples out there that are paying for everything out of pocket. I know that what I have to pay out is pennies compared to what other have already paid. However, the cost is still there. And, it is going to be a lot of money - even with insurance. So, please do not think I am complaining about the cost - but this is something we will have to save for and budget for. And yes - I do know that without insurance, IVF would not even be a possibility as it would cost about $16,000 (or more). I am VERY grateful for the opportunity to live in a state mandate state and have great insurance.
I found out the PGD is covered by insurance - kind of. The cost of the biopsy (through my clinic) is covered. But, the transportation to the genetics lab is not. Plus the genetics lab does not take any insurance payments. Yes, there is a possibility that I can submit the paid invoice to the insurance company and might be reimbursed - especially since they said that the PGD was covered.
So, here are the costs that I will have to pay:
$40 - CD3 office visit - insurance co-pay
$200 - Injectable meds (follistim, cetrotide, menopur, ovidrel) - insurance co-pays
$160 - 4 additional office visits before retreival (I am guessing) - insurance co-pays
$500 - anesthesiologist (retrieval)- does not take insurance - may be able to get reimbursed
$500 - Embryo Transportation fee to the Genetics Lab - insurance does not cover
$2800 - PGD for 12 chromosomes (Aneuploidy screening)
$40 - transfer of embryos - insurance co-pay
$1150 - Embryo freezing and one year storage - insurance does not cover
$20 - Folgard Rx - Insurance Co-Pay
$40 - Prometrium Rx - Insurance Co-Pay
$40 - Progesterone check - office visit - Insurance co-pay
_____
$5490 - Total
Of that total - it is possible that we might be able to be reimbursed $3300. And if we decided not to freeze any embryos, that would reduce the total by $1150 as well. But, if you think about it - if we did not freeze any, and decided to do IVF again, then we would have to pay for the PGD again. I guess if we went through that whole pgd process, it would be stupid not to freeze the good ones.
This amount does not include any pregnancy office visits if we were so lucky to get pregnant.
That is a lot of money - money that we really do not have.
I am going to be talking to my husband tonight - so he can basically see all the numbers himself.
So, now we have to decide if IVF is something we want to do. We might possibly seeks other options (adoption) at the same time as other medical treatments - who knows.
So, if you made it this far, thanks for reading :)
Oh - and as a PS - I totally forgot to ask the RE is he could Rx something to help me sleep - even though I totally wrote it down.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Finally doing a follow-up appt.
When the doc called and told me about m/c#3, well I just about lost it on the phone. I felt really bad that I was crying on the phone with the doctor. I am sure it really made him uncomfortable. In that conversation, he told me that he (and the whole clinic) is there if we need to just talk, talk about additional treatments, talk about m/c#3, etc.
I was in such a rush to get him off the phone that I just did not want to hear anything from him. I am at a point that I am all cried out - but I am still extremely upset about it. I am still not sleeping well, and everyday I tell my husband, "maybe tomorrow I will go to the doc". Everyday I don't.
I am not sleeping when I should and then because I am exhausted, I am sleeping when I shouldn't. Honestly, I don't even know if he can Rx something for me, but I need to talk to him anyway.
It has been almost 2 weeks since we found out, and I still don't have any answers. I do know that more likely than not, there still will be no answers.
But, the main thing I want to hear is what is the likelihood that I will m/c again. I know that no medical procedure can guarantee a successful pregnancy, but if the odds are against me no matter what, I am not sure if we will continue with medical interventions (aka ivf). I don't want to do ivf, pgd, etc if I have a big chance of going through this torture again and again.
I did call this morning, and I will be going in tomorrow to talk to my main doc. Maybe if nothing else, he could tell me the name of a therapist or someone that I could talk to about all this crap.
I think I have been putting off calling him because I am seriously afraid of what he will tell me. Is is going to tell me that I might now be able to bear children? Will he tell me that I have crappy eggs? Will he tell me to just give up (OK, that one might not be one of them)?
I am also going to ask for my b/w levels. My clinic does not advise of b/w results unless there is a problem with the results. so, for example, I have no idea what my FSH levels are - but I will know tomorrow. I know sometimes knowledge is a bad thing - you know I will come straight home and look on the Internet for the "normals" of these levels. But, sometimes you have to be an advocate for yourself.
I am also planning on asking about the MTHFR, so many people asked why I was not on a blood thinner - I am only on the folgard.
I guess I should start a list of these questions, this way I do not forget or get side-tracked. I will post the details after the appointment.
I was in such a rush to get him off the phone that I just did not want to hear anything from him. I am at a point that I am all cried out - but I am still extremely upset about it. I am still not sleeping well, and everyday I tell my husband, "maybe tomorrow I will go to the doc". Everyday I don't.
I am not sleeping when I should and then because I am exhausted, I am sleeping when I shouldn't. Honestly, I don't even know if he can Rx something for me, but I need to talk to him anyway.
It has been almost 2 weeks since we found out, and I still don't have any answers. I do know that more likely than not, there still will be no answers.
But, the main thing I want to hear is what is the likelihood that I will m/c again. I know that no medical procedure can guarantee a successful pregnancy, but if the odds are against me no matter what, I am not sure if we will continue with medical interventions (aka ivf). I don't want to do ivf, pgd, etc if I have a big chance of going through this torture again and again.
I did call this morning, and I will be going in tomorrow to talk to my main doc. Maybe if nothing else, he could tell me the name of a therapist or someone that I could talk to about all this crap.
I think I have been putting off calling him because I am seriously afraid of what he will tell me. Is is going to tell me that I might now be able to bear children? Will he tell me that I have crappy eggs? Will he tell me to just give up (OK, that one might not be one of them)?
I am also going to ask for my b/w levels. My clinic does not advise of b/w results unless there is a problem with the results. so, for example, I have no idea what my FSH levels are - but I will know tomorrow. I know sometimes knowledge is a bad thing - you know I will come straight home and look on the Internet for the "normals" of these levels. But, sometimes you have to be an advocate for yourself.
I am also planning on asking about the MTHFR, so many people asked why I was not on a blood thinner - I am only on the folgard.
I guess I should start a list of these questions, this way I do not forget or get side-tracked. I will post the details after the appointment.
Friday, October 3, 2008
What does "On a Break" really mean
Ok - when we were in limbo with this last pregnancy, my husband and I agreed that if it did not last (it didn't) that we were going on a break. He really hated seeing me so happy and then so so sad. I agree. It is really hard to deal with the fact that I have had 3 m/c in 6 months.
It is actually 6 months and 3 days for those that are keeping track.
Anyway, what does that really mean? Of course the obvious is no medical treatment. If we do more medical treatment, it won't be for a few months. Maybe the new year. Of course, we could change our mind and decide that one month is long enough. Right now that does not seem like it will happen. I really need some time to just be Amy, not Amy who goes to the doc every other day.
But, what else does it mean? Does it mean that it is not something I think about every second of every day - I guess not. Because in reality, I will think about it every day. Was that my last shot of being pregnant? Should we even do more advanced medical treatment? Should we consider alternative options?
Does it mean that I can actually "relax" - not really. In the back of my mind I will be thinking, "heck, maybe if I DO relax, maybe I will have a break BFP?"
I still think about timing, even though timing sex perfectly has never worked before. Maybe this time it will - yeah right. Oh, and ironically, the wedding next weekend will be 2 weeks to the day that I started my "period" after we found out about m/c #3. Of course I know it is not a real period, but that is technically when the cycle would have started if I thought it was just a late period (a week late).
So, even though I am on a break, I still count the days. Of course I assume "normal" timed cycles, which without meds I do not have. But, when we were on our break last year, I did get some normalish cycles. Maybe I will be that lucky again.
I guess for some, a break means not thinking about a thing. Just letting whatever happens happens. Not counting days, not stressing over ovulation, etc.
I guess that is just not me.
It is actually 6 months and 3 days for those that are keeping track.
Anyway, what does that really mean? Of course the obvious is no medical treatment. If we do more medical treatment, it won't be for a few months. Maybe the new year. Of course, we could change our mind and decide that one month is long enough. Right now that does not seem like it will happen. I really need some time to just be Amy, not Amy who goes to the doc every other day.
But, what else does it mean? Does it mean that it is not something I think about every second of every day - I guess not. Because in reality, I will think about it every day. Was that my last shot of being pregnant? Should we even do more advanced medical treatment? Should we consider alternative options?
Does it mean that I can actually "relax" - not really. In the back of my mind I will be thinking, "heck, maybe if I DO relax, maybe I will have a break BFP?"
I still think about timing, even though timing sex perfectly has never worked before. Maybe this time it will - yeah right. Oh, and ironically, the wedding next weekend will be 2 weeks to the day that I started my "period" after we found out about m/c #3. Of course I know it is not a real period, but that is technically when the cycle would have started if I thought it was just a late period (a week late).
So, even though I am on a break, I still count the days. Of course I assume "normal" timed cycles, which without meds I do not have. But, when we were on our break last year, I did get some normalish cycles. Maybe I will be that lucky again.
I guess for some, a break means not thinking about a thing. Just letting whatever happens happens. Not counting days, not stressing over ovulation, etc.
I guess that is just not me.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Bringing sexy back.....NOT
So, I really needed to boost my spirits because I have been down in the dumps for a long time now (obviously).
We have an out-of-town wedding next weekend. I thought I would buy some sexy lingerie, that should boost my spirits - and I am sure the "spirit" of my husband.
Now - you have to know that I am not your run of the mill Victoria Secrect (VS) size person. While I wish I could just go to VS and just buy something - lord knows that is not really possible. Seriously, I totally envy the gal that can go into any store - you know ANY store - and just buy something off the rack. Possibily without even trying it on. Not me.
I am VERY big in the upper area - all my bras are custom ordered through a speciality lingerie shop. So, it is not like I can just go into any store and find something I like.
I decided to go to my trusty friend, you know, Google. I type in my zip code and lingerie. Got a couple of hits too. One even said that they have in stock all sizes from petite to plus. JACKPOT!
I live in Tim-Buck-To, NJ so I know every place will be a drive. I pick two that are about an hour away. I google the directions and I am off.
The first place is 46 miles from my house, I follow the directions to a tee. The last set of directions brings me to a wearhouise section. Basically all loading docs, etc. I look for the address and it is NOT a lingerie store. OK, maybe I should have called.
The second one is on my way home. Um....I guess I just have some bad luck. Store is closed. And not closed for the day closed, closed as in not in business closed.
There is a woman having a cig outside the store adjacent to the lingerie store. She tells me they have been out of business for a while. I guess I say under my breath (but out loud), I just drove 70 miles for nothing.
She invites me into her store (Real Estate Co) and she draws me a map and tells me other places where I might have some luck. OMG - how super nice is that.
I took her advice and found a really cute somewhat sexy piece at L.ane B.ryant. I looked on-line to see if there was a picture, but it is not on the website.
Lingerie is really a treat for me and my husband of course. I hardly ever wear it. But, I figured we really need some sexy time and not sex only for baby making time. We are staying at a hotel - so I thought that would be the perfect time to bring sexy back.
We have an out-of-town wedding next weekend. I thought I would buy some sexy lingerie, that should boost my spirits - and I am sure the "spirit" of my husband.
Now - you have to know that I am not your run of the mill Victoria Secrect (VS) size person. While I wish I could just go to VS and just buy something - lord knows that is not really possible. Seriously, I totally envy the gal that can go into any store - you know ANY store - and just buy something off the rack. Possibily without even trying it on. Not me.
I am VERY big in the upper area - all my bras are custom ordered through a speciality lingerie shop. So, it is not like I can just go into any store and find something I like.
I decided to go to my trusty friend, you know, Google. I type in my zip code and lingerie. Got a couple of hits too. One even said that they have in stock all sizes from petite to plus. JACKPOT!
I live in Tim-Buck-To, NJ so I know every place will be a drive. I pick two that are about an hour away. I google the directions and I am off.
The first place is 46 miles from my house, I follow the directions to a tee. The last set of directions brings me to a wearhouise section. Basically all loading docs, etc. I look for the address and it is NOT a lingerie store. OK, maybe I should have called.
The second one is on my way home. Um....I guess I just have some bad luck. Store is closed. And not closed for the day closed, closed as in not in business closed.
There is a woman having a cig outside the store adjacent to the lingerie store. She tells me they have been out of business for a while. I guess I say under my breath (but out loud), I just drove 70 miles for nothing.
She invites me into her store (Real Estate Co) and she draws me a map and tells me other places where I might have some luck. OMG - how super nice is that.
I took her advice and found a really cute somewhat sexy piece at L.ane B.ryant. I looked on-line to see if there was a picture, but it is not on the website.
Lingerie is really a treat for me and my husband of course. I hardly ever wear it. But, I figured we really need some sexy time and not sex only for baby making time. We are staying at a hotel - so I thought that would be the perfect time to bring sexy back.
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