Colin will turn 14 years old tomorrow. I can't believe where the time has gone. We will be doing birthday stuff all day, so I wanted to share one of my favorites blog posts, in honor of Colin's birthday.
My First Roomate:
I got this roomate when I was a junior in college. The request was very unexpected, but I could never turn him away. I knew him for 9 months before he was my roomate. In those 9 months, I felt like I knew him. I created a bond with him that I knew would last a lifetime. We would listen to music together and we would talk about his future. He really made me think about my own future as well.
He was a very short man, kind of funny looking. But, the second I saw him I thought he was the cutest. From the moment I met him, I knew we would be lifelong friends. I always hoped he would feel the same.
When he first moved in, it was quite the adjustment. I am still not sure how I managed it. Living with him was nothing like I ever expected. I had to constantly clean up his crap, he would be up in all my business, and I had to do all the cooking and cleaning. I put up with it though. In fact, I kind of liked it.
We lived together for a while and then all of a sudden, he started talking back to me. And, most of the time it was just jibberish, I could not even understand what he was saying. We would talk but I was never even sure he understood me. We had our ups and downs, but our relationship grew over the years.
In no time, all of his stuff was all over the place. It was like he owned the place. In every corner of every room were his "toys". I must admit, I bought some of these things, I knew he just "had to have them". I guess in a way, I thought the more I gave him, the more he would give to me - love that is, not gifts.
It did not take long before I was in total love with him. I always knew that we would have a life-long friendship. In my eyes, he could do no wrong.
Over the next few years, he became more and more dependent on me. I had to drive him everywhere, as he does not have a license. I also had to buy everything for him, he did not have a job. I had to cook for him, he was not mature enough to do it himself. I had to pick out his clothes, he had NO fashion sense. I loved him anyway. More and more each day. And I realized how lucky I was that I did not have him to live somewhere else.
We were always together, then things changed. He started hanging out with his buddies...all the time. It seemed like he was never home. I really missed my guy and always thought about the time we shared just the two of us. I knew he was maturing and didn't want to hang around with "just some girl". So, I let him go and did not complain much, I mean, he was free to do what he wanted. I loved him anyway.
When I met my husband, my roomate was so great to him. They hung out all the time and soon became buddies. I loved seeing them hang out together. What could be better than my two favorite guys together. My husband (then boyfriend) never even questioned the fact that I had a roomate. He knew we shared a special bond. One he knew he could never break. He knew a lot of times when we would hang out, my roomate would be along for the ride. He embraced the chance to get to know him even better.
Soon, my roomate figured out that I would marry my husband and he welcomed him with open arms. I knew that not only would I be his longtime friend, but my husband would be his friend for life as well.
We got married and my roomate stood right by my side. I needed him there. In fact, he walked me down the aisle!
My new husband never questioned bringing my roomate into our new married home. He would not have it any other way. Now, the three of us live as a family.
My first roomate: my son, Colin. Happy Birthday.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
First Due Date
Today would have been my first due date. I am OK, still stings, but I am moving forward.
What is really sad is the fact that I couldn't remember due date #3. I keep track of all of my medical expenses and had to look at that to figure out when my IUI was. I then used that date on an on-line calculator.
I also think it is ironic, because today I started my post m/c period. I was thrilled, because the last two times, I had to wait 6 long weeks to get my period. BUt, I still think it is kind of weird timing.
What is really sad is the fact that I couldn't remember due date #3. I keep track of all of my medical expenses and had to look at that to figure out when my IUI was. I then used that date on an on-line calculator.
I also think it is ironic, because today I started my post m/c period. I was thrilled, because the last two times, I had to wait 6 long weeks to get my period. BUt, I still think it is kind of weird timing.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Adoption Applications have been submitted
The adoption application will be given to my neighbor this evening. We will be able to start the training class next Monday!
1st step in the right direction.
I wrote more details on my Adoption Blog.
1st step in the right direction.
I wrote more details on my Adoption Blog.
Application will be completed TODAY
My nieghbor FINALLY left the application for me - but only half of it is the correct forms. She must have accidently gave me the package for "family/relative" care instead of the general one.
But, the application is a general one, and the other forms are general as well. There is just one form that is incorrect. And, that form is more of a read and sign type of thing. The actual application is the only thing that needs to be submitted prior to the training. The other stuff can be completed after. We will be submitting everything we can tonight (apps, financial statement, fingerprint request, background check release, etc).
The main application was very standard stuff such as: name, address, all addresses in the last 5 years, ss#, employment info, doctors names, school names for all children, # bedrooms, if there are smokers in the house, type of service (adopt, foster, etc), references (needed 3: a neighbor, a non-relative that you have known for at least 5 years, non-relative known for any amount of time - good thing I know a neighbor), and convictions. The finacials asked for basic info: net pay, mortage payments or rent, ulitities, food, household expenses, car payments, taxes, etc.
We will be starting training classes next Monday!!! The classes are 3 hours each and there are 9 classes, for a total of 27 hours.
So, this is a step in the right direction :)
But, the application is a general one, and the other forms are general as well. There is just one form that is incorrect. And, that form is more of a read and sign type of thing. The actual application is the only thing that needs to be submitted prior to the training. The other stuff can be completed after. We will be submitting everything we can tonight (apps, financial statement, fingerprint request, background check release, etc).
The main application was very standard stuff such as: name, address, all addresses in the last 5 years, ss#, employment info, doctors names, school names for all children, # bedrooms, if there are smokers in the house, type of service (adopt, foster, etc), references (needed 3: a neighbor, a non-relative that you have known for at least 5 years, non-relative known for any amount of time - good thing I know a neighbor), and convictions. The finacials asked for basic info: net pay, mortage payments or rent, ulitities, food, household expenses, car payments, taxes, etc.
We will be starting training classes next Monday!!! The classes are 3 hours each and there are 9 classes, for a total of 27 hours.
So, this is a step in the right direction :)
Application will be completed TODAY
My nieghbor FINALLY left the application for me - but only half of it is the correct forms. She must have accidently gave me the package for "family/relative" care instead of the general one.
But, the application is a general one, and the other forms are general as well. There is just one form that is incorrect. And, that form is more of a read and sign type of thing. The actual application is the only thing that needs to be submitted prior to the training. The other stuff can be completed after. We will be submitting everything we can tonight (apps, financial statement, fingerprint request, background check release, etc).
The main application was very standard stuff such as: name, address, all addresses in the last 5 years, ss#, employment info, doctors names, school names for all children, # bedrooms, if there are smokers in the house, type of service (adopt, foster, etc), references (needed 3: a neighbor, a non-relative that you have known for at least 5 years, non-relative known for any amount of time - good thing I know a neighbor), and convictions. The finacials asked for basic info: net pay, mortage payments or rent, ulitities, food, household expenses, car payments, taxes, etc.
We will be starting training classes next Monday!!! The classes are 3 hours each and there are 9 classes, for a total of 27 hours.
So, this is a step in the right direction :)
But, the application is a general one, and the other forms are general as well. There is just one form that is incorrect. And, that form is more of a read and sign type of thing. The actual application is the only thing that needs to be submitted prior to the training. The other stuff can be completed after. We will be submitting everything we can tonight (apps, financial statement, fingerprint request, background check release, etc).
The main application was very standard stuff such as: name, address, all addresses in the last 5 years, ss#, employment info, doctors names, school names for all children, # bedrooms, if there are smokers in the house, type of service (adopt, foster, etc), references (needed 3: a neighbor, a non-relative that you have known for at least 5 years, non-relative known for any amount of time - good thing I know a neighbor), and convictions. The finacials asked for basic info: net pay, mortage payments or rent, ulitities, food, household expenses, car payments, taxes, etc.
We will be starting training classes next Monday!!! The classes are 3 hours each and there are 9 classes, for a total of 27 hours.
So, this is a step in the right direction :)
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Why Fost/Adopt through the state?
A few people have asked why we chose to adopt through the foster care system. I responded on a message board, but since it is a great question, I thought it would make a great blog post as well.
Why are we using Fost/Adopt to build our family?
There are a few reasons, most of them selfish I guess.
1 - Our only medical option is PGD, and even though our insurance will cover IVF, they only cover $2000 for PGD and don't cover other things at all- that would leave us with almost $6000 for us to pay for the cycle. This of course includes all the expenses for the cycle, not just the pgd (meds, office visits, anesthesiologist, pgd, freezing, etc). Well, we live on a modest income and do not have $6000 just floating around.
We may still do IVF, and just beg, borrow, and borrow some more to pay for this.
That said, if we do not have an extra $6K for IVF, we would never be able find the money (or afford the monthly payments) to pay for a domestic or international adoption.
2 - My neighbor works for the Dept of Child. Svcs. I spoke to her a while ago and she said that currently there are not enough families in my county to fill the need for the number of children. They currently have to go outside the county to find families. That said, it is possible that my wait time is very short. She told me that we could have child(ren) in our house in 4-6 months.
We are open to 0-5 and a sibling group of 2 - this may cut our wait time as well.
I also know that so far she has been a great resource for information, I can't imagine that it would stop.
3 - I am afraid of the domestic adoption process. Even though I think we are "good people" I am totally scared of never getting picked.
And the main reason (totally not rational at ALL) is that I was a teenage mom, I was a single mom from the day I found out I was pregnant and raised my son by myself until I got married when he was 11 years old (he will be 14 next week).
It was very hard, and most times we barely made ends meet. But, I raised a great kid. I guess to some, that would make me a good candiate for someone to "pick" us. But I am totally afraid that pregnant women will not pick us because in someway they will think that I think I am better than her - because I DID NOT give up my son and did whatever I needed to do to raise him. I think what they are doing is a great thing, I just could never do it myself.
Obviously through the foster care system, parents do not get to choose the adoptive parents.
4 - growing up, my neighbor had lots and lots of foster kids. Some became adopted at some point. So, I guess all of my life that is what I know as the adoption process. Of course I always knew about domestic and international adoption. But, through the "system" never really seemed like a big deal to me.
I guess since I have experience with others using Fost or Adopt though the state, it never occured to me to use other options for adoption. We always knew fost/adopt through our state would be our first choice. Then of course after hearing how much it costs to use other methods of adoption, it totally sealed the deal for us. Even if we had the money, I don't know for sure if we would choose a different path.
I guess what I am saying is that I have a real expectation of the types of children in foster care. And I know the right children are there, just waiting for us.
Why are we using Fost/Adopt to build our family?
There are a few reasons, most of them selfish I guess.
1 - Our only medical option is PGD, and even though our insurance will cover IVF, they only cover $2000 for PGD and don't cover other things at all- that would leave us with almost $6000 for us to pay for the cycle. This of course includes all the expenses for the cycle, not just the pgd (meds, office visits, anesthesiologist, pgd, freezing, etc). Well, we live on a modest income and do not have $6000 just floating around.
We may still do IVF, and just beg, borrow, and borrow some more to pay for this.
That said, if we do not have an extra $6K for IVF, we would never be able find the money (or afford the monthly payments) to pay for a domestic or international adoption.
2 - My neighbor works for the Dept of Child. Svcs. I spoke to her a while ago and she said that currently there are not enough families in my county to fill the need for the number of children. They currently have to go outside the county to find families. That said, it is possible that my wait time is very short. She told me that we could have child(ren) in our house in 4-6 months.
We are open to 0-5 and a sibling group of 2 - this may cut our wait time as well.
I also know that so far she has been a great resource for information, I can't imagine that it would stop.
3 - I am afraid of the domestic adoption process. Even though I think we are "good people" I am totally scared of never getting picked.
And the main reason (totally not rational at ALL) is that I was a teenage mom, I was a single mom from the day I found out I was pregnant and raised my son by myself until I got married when he was 11 years old (he will be 14 next week).
It was very hard, and most times we barely made ends meet. But, I raised a great kid. I guess to some, that would make me a good candiate for someone to "pick" us. But I am totally afraid that pregnant women will not pick us because in someway they will think that I think I am better than her - because I DID NOT give up my son and did whatever I needed to do to raise him. I think what they are doing is a great thing, I just could never do it myself.
Obviously through the foster care system, parents do not get to choose the adoptive parents.
4 - growing up, my neighbor had lots and lots of foster kids. Some became adopted at some point. So, I guess all of my life that is what I know as the adoption process. Of course I always knew about domestic and international adoption. But, through the "system" never really seemed like a big deal to me.
I guess since I have experience with others using Fost or Adopt though the state, it never occured to me to use other options for adoption. We always knew fost/adopt through our state would be our first choice. Then of course after hearing how much it costs to use other methods of adoption, it totally sealed the deal for us. Even if we had the money, I don't know for sure if we would choose a different path.
I guess what I am saying is that I have a real expectation of the types of children in foster care. And I know the right children are there, just waiting for us.
Why Fost/Adopt through the state?
A few people have asked why we chose to adopt through the foster care system. I responded on a message board, but since it is a great question, I thought it would make a great blog post as well.
Why are we using Fost/Adopt to build our family?
There are a few reasons, most of them selfish I guess.
1 - Our only medical option is PGD, and even though our insurance will cover IVF, they only cover $2000 for PGD and don't cover other things at all- that would leave us with almost $6000 for us to pay for the cycle. This of course includes all the expenses for the cycle, not just the pgd (meds, office visits, anesthesiologist, pgd, freezing, etc). Well, we live on a modest income and do not have $6000 just floating around.
We may still do IVF, and just beg, borrow, and borrow some more to pay for this.
That said, if we do not have an extra $6K for IVF, we would never be able find the money (or afford the monthly payments) to pay for a domestic or international adoption.
2 - My neighbor works for the Dept of Child. Svcs. I spoke to her a while ago and she said that currently there are not enough families in my county to fill the need for the number of children. They currently have to go outside the county to find families. That said, it is possible that my wait time is very short. She told me that we could have child(ren) in our house in 4-6 months.
We are open to 0-5 and a sibling group of 2 - this may cut our wait time as well.
I also know that so far she has been a great resource for information, I can't imagine that it would stop.
3 - I am afraid of the domestic adoption process. Even though I think we are "good people" I am totally scared of never getting picked.
And the main reason (totally not rational at ALL) is that I was a teenage mom, I was a single mom from the day I found out I was pregnant and raised my son by myself until I got married when he was 11 years old (he will be 14 next week).
It was very hard, and most times we barely made ends meet. But, I raised a great kid. I guess to some, that would make me a good candiate for someone to "pick" us. But I am totally afraid that pregnant women will not pick us because in someway they will think that I think I am better than her - because I DID NOT give up my son and did whatever I needed to do to raise him. I think what they are doing is a great thing, I just could never do it myself.
Obviously through the foster care system, parents do not get to choose the adoptive parents.
4 - growing up, my neighbor had lots and lots of foster kids. Some became adopted at some point. So, I guess all of my life that is what I know as the adoption process. Of course I always knew about domestic and international adoption. But, through the "system" never really seemed like a big deal to me.
I guess since I have experience with others using Fost or Adopt though the state, it never occured to me to use other options for adoption. We always knew fost/adopt through our state would be our first choice. Then of course after hearing how much it costs to use other methods of adoption, it totally sealed the deal for us. Even if we had the money, I don't know for sure if we would choose a different path.
I guess what I am saying is that I have a real expectation of the types of children in foster care. And I know the right children are there, just waiting for us.
Why are we using Fost/Adopt to build our family?
There are a few reasons, most of them selfish I guess.
1 - Our only medical option is PGD, and even though our insurance will cover IVF, they only cover $2000 for PGD and don't cover other things at all- that would leave us with almost $6000 for us to pay for the cycle. This of course includes all the expenses for the cycle, not just the pgd (meds, office visits, anesthesiologist, pgd, freezing, etc). Well, we live on a modest income and do not have $6000 just floating around.
We may still do IVF, and just beg, borrow, and borrow some more to pay for this.
That said, if we do not have an extra $6K for IVF, we would never be able find the money (or afford the monthly payments) to pay for a domestic or international adoption.
2 - My neighbor works for the Dept of Child. Svcs. I spoke to her a while ago and she said that currently there are not enough families in my county to fill the need for the number of children. They currently have to go outside the county to find families. That said, it is possible that my wait time is very short. She told me that we could have child(ren) in our house in 4-6 months.
We are open to 0-5 and a sibling group of 2 - this may cut our wait time as well.
I also know that so far she has been a great resource for information, I can't imagine that it would stop.
3 - I am afraid of the domestic adoption process. Even though I think we are "good people" I am totally scared of never getting picked.
And the main reason (totally not rational at ALL) is that I was a teenage mom, I was a single mom from the day I found out I was pregnant and raised my son by myself until I got married when he was 11 years old (he will be 14 next week).
It was very hard, and most times we barely made ends meet. But, I raised a great kid. I guess to some, that would make me a good candiate for someone to "pick" us. But I am totally afraid that pregnant women will not pick us because in someway they will think that I think I am better than her - because I DID NOT give up my son and did whatever I needed to do to raise him. I think what they are doing is a great thing, I just could never do it myself.
Obviously through the foster care system, parents do not get to choose the adoptive parents.
4 - growing up, my neighbor had lots and lots of foster kids. Some became adopted at some point. So, I guess all of my life that is what I know as the adoption process. Of course I always knew about domestic and international adoption. But, through the "system" never really seemed like a big deal to me.
I guess since I have experience with others using Fost or Adopt though the state, it never occured to me to use other options for adoption. We always knew fost/adopt through our state would be our first choice. Then of course after hearing how much it costs to use other methods of adoption, it totally sealed the deal for us. Even if we had the money, I don't know for sure if we would choose a different path.
I guess what I am saying is that I have a real expectation of the types of children in foster care. And I know the right children are there, just waiting for us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
