First Class was yesterday. Very long. it turns out that there are 2 classes a week. And, the last two lessons are on the same day. What does that mean? It means that instead of 8/9 weeks of classes, it is only 4 weeks of class.
Our classes will be over before Thanksgiving.
The class had 8 families - many different situations. We went around the room and had to say what type of care we were doing and our names, etc.
1 - Us. It was totally totally strange to say, "hello, we are ...., we can't have our own children" I guess saying it out loud makes it even more true.
2 - trying to get legal custody of a niece's infant. Placement in their house since 2 weeks old. Goal is reunification.
3 - doing foster care only. I guess they "sponsor" international kids and want to help kids here. Unsure if they would adopt if situation presented itself. Children up to 12 yrs old.
4 - doing foster care only. Have 6 kids between the two of them, but most have left the house. Miss children in the home. Not looking to adopt - only foster. Children up to 10 years old.
5 - trying to get legal custody of cousin's 2 kids. Placement in their house for a few days. Will adopt if cousin does not shape up.
6 - looking to get her 2 grandchildren out of foster care. Children removed 2 months ago, but are not with her now. Goal is permanent placement with her.
7 - looking to get legal custody of her grandchildren. Don't know the rest of her story.
8 - Adoption. She also can not have children. Adopted a child 8 years ago through the system (but was considered a private adoption - I guess it is a long story), then a few years later got a call about a sibling. Private adoption of that one also. A week ago, she got a call from another state's child agency. There is now another sibling that was removed. She is going to adopt this sibling but must go through all the training, since in the past she was not officially licensed through the state.
We do not have a resource worker yet, but the trainer said that by the end of classes we should have one assigned to us. I am trying not to stress over that.
The class was fine, the guy jumped around a lot though. Seemed like he lost his train of thought through out the whole class. We watched a foster care / adoption video that was (no joke) from about 1990.
You know it is bad when the statistics are from the 80's. The situations were pretty unlikely and the acting was BAD!
After the video, we talked about different things and had open discussions.
During a break I asked one of the staff about our situation. Meaning that our goal is adoption and asked if there were kids whose were already "free" for adoption. Of course there are, but 99% of them are older kids. So, it looks like we will be doing fost/adopt. Which of course is fine, but that comes with the legal risk that the children may return to the parents. I guess that is a the chance we will have to take.
But, the trainer also was giving us realistic expectations that a lot of these kids do NOT go back. I guess we will just have to look at each situation as it is presented to us and make a decision based on the info.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Classes Start Today!
When you adopt from the foster care system (at least in our state), it comes with required training. The classes are nine 3-hour classes for a total of 27 hours.
Our first class is today! We were only given the info that the class starts today - so I am not sure if they are once a week, or more than that in a week. So, the classes could be up to 9 weeks long.
But, we are excited. Even more exciting was that my family came over on Sat for my son's b-day and all of us had great conversations about us adopting. A lot of it was like a Q&A session - but it was good to give them the info that we have.
And it is great because the class is actually in my town, so I will probably meet other families that are local to me.
Yay!
Our first class is today! We were only given the info that the class starts today - so I am not sure if they are once a week, or more than that in a week. So, the classes could be up to 9 weeks long.
But, we are excited. Even more exciting was that my family came over on Sat for my son's b-day and all of us had great conversations about us adopting. A lot of it was like a Q&A session - but it was good to give them the info that we have.
And it is great because the class is actually in my town, so I will probably meet other families that are local to me.
Yay!
Classes Start Today!
When you adopt from the foster care system (at least in our state), it comes with required training. The classes are nine 3-hour classes for a total of 27 hours.
Our first class is today! We were only given the info that the class starts today - so I am not sure if they are once a week, or more than that in a week. So, the classes could be up to 9 weeks long.
But, we are excited. Even more exciting was that my family came over on Sat for my son's b-day and all of us had great conversations about us adopting. A lot of it was like a Q&A session - but it was good to give them the info that we have.
And it is great because the class is actually in my town, so I will probably meet other families that are local to me.
Yay!
Our first class is today! We were only given the info that the class starts today - so I am not sure if they are once a week, or more than that in a week. So, the classes could be up to 9 weeks long.
But, we are excited. Even more exciting was that my family came over on Sat for my son's b-day and all of us had great conversations about us adopting. A lot of it was like a Q&A session - but it was good to give them the info that we have.
And it is great because the class is actually in my town, so I will probably meet other families that are local to me.
Yay!
Friday, October 31, 2008
One of my favorite posts
Colin will turn 14 years old tomorrow. I can't believe where the time has gone. We will be doing birthday stuff all day, so I wanted to share one of my favorites blog posts, in honor of Colin's birthday.
My First Roomate:
I got this roomate when I was a junior in college. The request was very unexpected, but I could never turn him away. I knew him for 9 months before he was my roomate. In those 9 months, I felt like I knew him. I created a bond with him that I knew would last a lifetime. We would listen to music together and we would talk about his future. He really made me think about my own future as well.
He was a very short man, kind of funny looking. But, the second I saw him I thought he was the cutest. From the moment I met him, I knew we would be lifelong friends. I always hoped he would feel the same.
When he first moved in, it was quite the adjustment. I am still not sure how I managed it. Living with him was nothing like I ever expected. I had to constantly clean up his crap, he would be up in all my business, and I had to do all the cooking and cleaning. I put up with it though. In fact, I kind of liked it.
We lived together for a while and then all of a sudden, he started talking back to me. And, most of the time it was just jibberish, I could not even understand what he was saying. We would talk but I was never even sure he understood me. We had our ups and downs, but our relationship grew over the years.
In no time, all of his stuff was all over the place. It was like he owned the place. In every corner of every room were his "toys". I must admit, I bought some of these things, I knew he just "had to have them". I guess in a way, I thought the more I gave him, the more he would give to me - love that is, not gifts.
It did not take long before I was in total love with him. I always knew that we would have a life-long friendship. In my eyes, he could do no wrong.
Over the next few years, he became more and more dependent on me. I had to drive him everywhere, as he does not have a license. I also had to buy everything for him, he did not have a job. I had to cook for him, he was not mature enough to do it himself. I had to pick out his clothes, he had NO fashion sense. I loved him anyway. More and more each day. And I realized how lucky I was that I did not have him to live somewhere else.
We were always together, then things changed. He started hanging out with his buddies...all the time. It seemed like he was never home. I really missed my guy and always thought about the time we shared just the two of us. I knew he was maturing and didn't want to hang around with "just some girl". So, I let him go and did not complain much, I mean, he was free to do what he wanted. I loved him anyway.
When I met my husband, my roomate was so great to him. They hung out all the time and soon became buddies. I loved seeing them hang out together. What could be better than my two favorite guys together. My husband (then boyfriend) never even questioned the fact that I had a roomate. He knew we shared a special bond. One he knew he could never break. He knew a lot of times when we would hang out, my roomate would be along for the ride. He embraced the chance to get to know him even better.
Soon, my roomate figured out that I would marry my husband and he welcomed him with open arms. I knew that not only would I be his longtime friend, but my husband would be his friend for life as well.
We got married and my roomate stood right by my side. I needed him there. In fact, he walked me down the aisle!
My new husband never questioned bringing my roomate into our new married home. He would not have it any other way. Now, the three of us live as a family.
My first roomate: my son, Colin. Happy Birthday.
My First Roomate:
I got this roomate when I was a junior in college. The request was very unexpected, but I could never turn him away. I knew him for 9 months before he was my roomate. In those 9 months, I felt like I knew him. I created a bond with him that I knew would last a lifetime. We would listen to music together and we would talk about his future. He really made me think about my own future as well.
He was a very short man, kind of funny looking. But, the second I saw him I thought he was the cutest. From the moment I met him, I knew we would be lifelong friends. I always hoped he would feel the same.
When he first moved in, it was quite the adjustment. I am still not sure how I managed it. Living with him was nothing like I ever expected. I had to constantly clean up his crap, he would be up in all my business, and I had to do all the cooking and cleaning. I put up with it though. In fact, I kind of liked it.
We lived together for a while and then all of a sudden, he started talking back to me. And, most of the time it was just jibberish, I could not even understand what he was saying. We would talk but I was never even sure he understood me. We had our ups and downs, but our relationship grew over the years.
In no time, all of his stuff was all over the place. It was like he owned the place. In every corner of every room were his "toys". I must admit, I bought some of these things, I knew he just "had to have them". I guess in a way, I thought the more I gave him, the more he would give to me - love that is, not gifts.
It did not take long before I was in total love with him. I always knew that we would have a life-long friendship. In my eyes, he could do no wrong.
Over the next few years, he became more and more dependent on me. I had to drive him everywhere, as he does not have a license. I also had to buy everything for him, he did not have a job. I had to cook for him, he was not mature enough to do it himself. I had to pick out his clothes, he had NO fashion sense. I loved him anyway. More and more each day. And I realized how lucky I was that I did not have him to live somewhere else.
We were always together, then things changed. He started hanging out with his buddies...all the time. It seemed like he was never home. I really missed my guy and always thought about the time we shared just the two of us. I knew he was maturing and didn't want to hang around with "just some girl". So, I let him go and did not complain much, I mean, he was free to do what he wanted. I loved him anyway.
When I met my husband, my roomate was so great to him. They hung out all the time and soon became buddies. I loved seeing them hang out together. What could be better than my two favorite guys together. My husband (then boyfriend) never even questioned the fact that I had a roomate. He knew we shared a special bond. One he knew he could never break. He knew a lot of times when we would hang out, my roomate would be along for the ride. He embraced the chance to get to know him even better.
Soon, my roomate figured out that I would marry my husband and he welcomed him with open arms. I knew that not only would I be his longtime friend, but my husband would be his friend for life as well.
We got married and my roomate stood right by my side. I needed him there. In fact, he walked me down the aisle!
My new husband never questioned bringing my roomate into our new married home. He would not have it any other way. Now, the three of us live as a family.
My first roomate: my son, Colin. Happy Birthday.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
First Due Date
Today would have been my first due date. I am OK, still stings, but I am moving forward.
What is really sad is the fact that I couldn't remember due date #3. I keep track of all of my medical expenses and had to look at that to figure out when my IUI was. I then used that date on an on-line calculator.
I also think it is ironic, because today I started my post m/c period. I was thrilled, because the last two times, I had to wait 6 long weeks to get my period. BUt, I still think it is kind of weird timing.
What is really sad is the fact that I couldn't remember due date #3. I keep track of all of my medical expenses and had to look at that to figure out when my IUI was. I then used that date on an on-line calculator.
I also think it is ironic, because today I started my post m/c period. I was thrilled, because the last two times, I had to wait 6 long weeks to get my period. BUt, I still think it is kind of weird timing.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Adoption Applications have been submitted
The adoption application will be given to my neighbor this evening. We will be able to start the training class next Monday!
1st step in the right direction.
I wrote more details on my Adoption Blog.
1st step in the right direction.
I wrote more details on my Adoption Blog.
Application will be completed TODAY
My nieghbor FINALLY left the application for me - but only half of it is the correct forms. She must have accidently gave me the package for "family/relative" care instead of the general one.
But, the application is a general one, and the other forms are general as well. There is just one form that is incorrect. And, that form is more of a read and sign type of thing. The actual application is the only thing that needs to be submitted prior to the training. The other stuff can be completed after. We will be submitting everything we can tonight (apps, financial statement, fingerprint request, background check release, etc).
The main application was very standard stuff such as: name, address, all addresses in the last 5 years, ss#, employment info, doctors names, school names for all children, # bedrooms, if there are smokers in the house, type of service (adopt, foster, etc), references (needed 3: a neighbor, a non-relative that you have known for at least 5 years, non-relative known for any amount of time - good thing I know a neighbor), and convictions. The finacials asked for basic info: net pay, mortage payments or rent, ulitities, food, household expenses, car payments, taxes, etc.
We will be starting training classes next Monday!!! The classes are 3 hours each and there are 9 classes, for a total of 27 hours.
So, this is a step in the right direction :)
But, the application is a general one, and the other forms are general as well. There is just one form that is incorrect. And, that form is more of a read and sign type of thing. The actual application is the only thing that needs to be submitted prior to the training. The other stuff can be completed after. We will be submitting everything we can tonight (apps, financial statement, fingerprint request, background check release, etc).
The main application was very standard stuff such as: name, address, all addresses in the last 5 years, ss#, employment info, doctors names, school names for all children, # bedrooms, if there are smokers in the house, type of service (adopt, foster, etc), references (needed 3: a neighbor, a non-relative that you have known for at least 5 years, non-relative known for any amount of time - good thing I know a neighbor), and convictions. The finacials asked for basic info: net pay, mortage payments or rent, ulitities, food, household expenses, car payments, taxes, etc.
We will be starting training classes next Monday!!! The classes are 3 hours each and there are 9 classes, for a total of 27 hours.
So, this is a step in the right direction :)
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