It's the climb

I have posted before about enjoying the path that you take, even if it is the road less travelled, or a road that lead you through rough and patchy places.

I heard a song a few days ago and was really able to listen to the words. I am not a fan of the person who sings it, but the words are GREAT.

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,

Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah)

I just wanted to share this

Sigh of relief

Yesterday was my follow-up glucose test. YUCK. Note to anyone out there, the orange taste SO much better than the lemon-lime. It was a pain to sit in the office for 3+ hours, but now it is done and I home there will never be a reason for me to repeat it in this pregnancy. I should get the results by Friday, Monday at the latest. They normally do not call with "normal" results, but I personally think it is rude not to call on any follow-up test. Anyway, the nurse told me she will look out for it and call me if she sees them come in. She also told me that if I do not hear by Monday afternoon, to give them a call.

Back to the Sigh of Relief. I had my follow-up bloodwork done at my last appointment. Since my last results were elevated, I was nervous about getting the results. I knew they would be in, too.

My risk last time was 1:110. The follow-up was 1:850!!!!! So, a MUCH better result and no additional testing is needed. If you do the math, I have a 0.12% chance of having a Down's baby - so basically a non risk. This was a huge relief. Yes, I would have loved this baby no matter what, but I really needed to know one way or the other.

Besides, if I was going to give birth to a special needs child, I would not be able to deliver in the small country hospital, they do not have a NICU. So knowledge is a good thing.

Oh - also, I am up one pound. That brings me to negative (-) 5 pounds at the OB and negative (-) 9 pounds since I found out I am pregnant.

Cervical Scan today

I had my 1st cervical scan today. I have been trying not to get into the nitty gritty of the results, it just makes me go home and google it.

Anyway, the tech said everything looked great, it is the size and shape (?) that it should be. She again asked if we wanted to know the gender - which to me means that she totally knows. Personally, I think this info should be in bold letters on front of my file. Something like "SHE DOES NOT WANT TO KNOW, DON'T ASK AND DON'T LET IT SLIP" Am I wrong?

I would hate to find out by accident (again).

I guess since I was there, she also did a basic anatomy scan as well. The baby was moving TONS and had a nice heartbeat of 170! It is cool to see things when she points them out. I got some 3D pics as well - which I will not be sharing because the baby really looks like an alien. There is one pic that the baby is giving the thumbs up and another one that looks like it is doing "touchdown". Already got a sports fan, just like daddy lol.

I go back tomorrow for my repeat glucose test, and I am hoping to get the results of the follow-up bloodwork (screening for down's). Although, I am not sure I will be able to get them, mainly because I am only seeing a nurse, not a doc. Which now that I think about it, I really do not like. This means that the next time that I see a doc will be at my "big" u/s which is not until the second week of May.

I guess I will have to talk to the nurse tomorrow because I am sure I can't wait till my 20 week appointment to get the results of my glucose test anyway. I will ask for the doc to call me. Plus, based on the results from the bloodwork, I may have to go see a u/s specialist.

I will update more tomorrow after the appointment

Getting the Zofran today - hope it works

Yes - I got the script last week. No - I have not filled it yet. Everyday I think it will just get better. But, it really has not. Plus, he is not doing any better on the potty. I decided to fill it using the generic version, which had to be ordered (well, so did the Zofran). It will be ready today, just have to go and pick it up.

I spoke to the pharmacist, and she said she would not be able to know if my insurance would even cover the Rx until she filled it. But, she said that with no insurance, it is about $27 A PILL!

I figured, why take the chance and not want to fill it if my insurance does not pay for it. I take generics all the time. And if this one does not work, then maybe I will try the name brand.

I have also tried to find peppermint oil - nope, can't find that. I tried sucking on peppermint lifesavers - that did not work either.

So, I am hoping this is the miracle drug

Mommy - why are you putting spaghetti in the potty?

Do I need to say more? Probably not, but I will.

I have been throwing up almost everytime I change Lil J - poopy diapers, not just wet diapers. I have tried to do a bunch of different options to try not to throw up.

I have tried vicks under the nose, shoving baby wipes IN my nose, different breathing techniques, closing my eyes, everything. And, nothing is really working. And to make matters worse, Lil J has a dirty diaper at least 2 times a day.

We have working on potty training, REALLY working on it.

I really know that this is the reason why I have lost 10 pounds already in this pregnancy. I got the Rx for Zofran. But, I have not filled it. A part of me really does not want to. I really don't want to HAVE to take it. Plus, each time I go to change him, I really think it will not happen. Thinking this will be the one time that I do not throw up.

We have starting bribing Lil J to use the potty. Yeah, I know - I am a horrible mom. But, it is 2 green jelly beans, so not too bad.

About 5 minutes after we finished dinner, of course he announced that he needed to be changed. I made my husband do it. I mean, it is only fair - right? So, we put him to bed at the regular time and about 1/2 hour later he announced that he has to be changed again.

It was about 2 hours after we ate, so I thought it would be "one of those times" that I would not throw up. Nope, lost my entire dinner of spaghetti and meat sauce.

Lil J was so kind to ask, "mommy, why are you putting spaghetti in the potty" Note to self: meat sauce REALLY burns when it comes back up.

My doc also suggested pepermint oil under the nose, she said a lot of people who work in a morgue use it to stop the throwing up. I think I will look for that tomorrow.

So, now I technichally did not eat dinner, and my throat feels like it is burned. YUCK!

Crappy OB appointment

The appointment was crappy on so many levels.

1 - Failed my 1hr Glucose Test
I had to have my glucose test earlier than most because my dad is a diabetic, I have a history of blood sugar problems, and oh, yeah - I am fat.

Anything over 130 is failing, mine was 165. So, now I have to get the 3 hr done asap. Lucky me.

2 - 1st Tri Screening came back as elevated
I had the NT Scan and related bloodwork done about 2 weeks ago. The scan was fine according to the doc. The measurement was 1.7. I looked this up and that seemed to be fine.

So, I get the bloodwork results back today. Tri18 was 1 in 10,000 - yay! Down's came back as elevated. At my age, a "good" result would be 1 in 270. Well, mine came back as 1 in 110. I know that is not a huge "bad" result - but still sucks!

I had my follow-up bloodwork today. I will get those results next week. My doc said that in their practice, they recommend an amnio if the results are more than 1 in 100, so yeah a big 10 points less. I will not get an amnio, as it has a risk of m/c (yes, I know - a small risk, but I am not willing to take that chance). Depending on how the follow-up bloodwork is, they may send me to a high risk fetal specialist who will do a very detailed u/s and look for other down's markers. There were no obvious markers at the NT scan, but I guess they look more closely to everything.

3 - I lost more weight.
This makes my total weight "gain" to negative 6. Yup, I am almost 16 weeks preg and I am down 6 pounds from my 1st ob appointment, and a total of 10 pounds down from when I first got my BFP. I am still throwing up (only when I change Lil J) so the doc gave me an Rx for Zofran. She is not happy that I have lost this much weight.

So, yeah - great appointment. I have to go back next week for the 3 hour glucose screening and a separate appointment for a scan to check my cervix. They are doing the cervical scan because I had 2 D&Cs last year and they just want to make sure they did not affect my cervix.

So, there are the details of my crappy OB appointment.

What "Brand" of Asian is he??

Lil J is part Korean (1/4). But, you can really only see it in the shape of his eyes. And, it is usually after I tell someone, it is only then that they say, "oh, yeah - I can totally see that" He has light hair, fair skin, & blue eyes - so it really is just the shape of the eyes.

Well, at the Easter Egg Hunt today, someone said (quoted), "um, what brand of asian is he?"
What BRAND? Who the hell says that??? And what difference does it make?

It was the most bizarre question I have ever heard.

I did answer in a non-rude way, but I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind