Termination Trial Date has be scheduled

First a disclaimer - yes, we all know that the best situation would be for Lil J's mom (and any foster child) to be able to parent their own children, that they would not be in a situation that required the state removing their child. Or, after removal - the mom would prove herself fit and be reunified with her child. yada yada yada.

BUT - when that does not happen, then of course what is best for the child is adoption

End of disclaimer

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We had court last week- and the judge scheduled a termination trial date for NEXT MONTH! There are a few teeny stipulations that might delay the trial by about a month - but, I don't think there will be a delay and the trial should start as planned.

It is a multi-day trial and each day can be a week apart. So, it is not like the termination of rights will happen on the first day. I also found out that I am not allowed to attend the termination trial. I have attended every trial since Lil J moved into our home. But, the termination trial deals with TONS of "confidential" information that technically I am not entitled to. Most of the info I DO have is kinda on the side - I am sure I am not supposed to know most of what I do. As much as I would love to hear all the details of the case - it is hard to get sitters or have my husband take off of work. And, since it is a multi-day trial, it would be a lot of time off.

There will be mediation a few days before the trial - where bio mom would have the opportunity to do a voluntary surrender. This is something that we are invited to. They do this so they could possibly cancel the trial and save the state some $$. But, if mom does not show up to mediation (VERY possible) then we go to trial. Bio-dad will also be invited to this mediation. In fact, the state is flying him up from down south so that he can attend the mediation.

At this point - there is no way the judge should not terminate her rights. She has done nothing on her court ordered plan, has not seen Lil J in over 4 months, and has gotten herself in "trouble" since he has been in care. Today is actually 2 years in care. Time is up.

We are pretty excited that it is next month. And, even if it gets delayed, it will only be delayed by about a month. After termination - it will still be several months before his adoption is final.
So - disclaimer aside - we are EXCITED

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And - an update on Bio-Dad
They finally found the bio father - he kinda "fell off the earth" for 1.5 years. He has said time and time again that he WILL surrender, that he is in no place to raise a child. We sent pictures and pages of his lifebook to him through the caseworker, and he was overcome with emotion. He was so happy to see that we actually do stuff with him - you know ---- treat him like he is part of our family.

BUT - he said he will not surrender unless he is certain that Lil J will not go back to his mom. He is scheduled to attend mediation, which is a few days before the TPR trial. They are going to fly him up from FL to attend mediation - he will be able to hear all the details of the case. It would not take a genius to figure out the they will terminate. So, he will either surrender at mediation, or right after the termination trial.

Just a tiny glitch - but I don't think it will be too much of an issue. He has the same issues as the mother, so it is not like he CAN parent.

Elsie is 5 months!

I few months ago, I blogged about taking the girls "monthly" pics using the same outfits. Elsie wears all the same clothes that Cora did, so I didn't think it would be too hard. I did not do it the first month - turned out I gave my sister that outfit. The second month I did not have the correct color pants. But, overall - same outfits.

It is funny how they really are about the same exact size for the same age. And - I don't think they look alike at all anymore.

So - here is 2 months through 5 months (today)

Cora is 17 months!

Cora is 17 months old. Every month, I have taken a picture in the same spot. I am also doing it with Elsie. It is amazing to see the difference in size in just a few short months. I did not add all of them, just 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 1 yr, 17 months.

And, yes - it is the same chair LOL

Happy Birthday to Lil J!

Today is Lil J's 5th Birthday! Wow - that went FAST. We are just having pizza and cake with just us and the girls from next door. We took him to monster jam a few weeks ago as well.

He is going to be so surprised when he comes home and the whole house is decorated. Nothing like last year - but streamers, balloons, etc. But, to a 5 year old - balloons = party. So, I am set.

Since they are doing their Valentine's Party at school today, and not having his school party until Thurday, I wanted him to wear a special outfit today for his birthday. So, I very quickly whipped up a birthday shirt and crown for him. Yeah, I could have made it nicer - but I think it will do it's job.

Pro Pics

We went today to get some pro pics taken. I love this backdrop. This pic came out so cute, if I say so myself. It is funny because Elsie was really crying when they took this picture. And, no - she can not sit up yet. I am just off camera holding her left hand, trying really hard to keep her balance. She toppled over several times.

We got a few great ones of Lil J, and tried to get some of the 3 little kids - but that was a disaster. Cora was running all over the place - Elsie kept falling over, and Lil J was just done.

One year ago

One year ago I found out I was pregnant again - I just wrote this long post about it and somehow after I added the pictures, poof------gone.

I am not retyping it, but it said something like "wow, I can't believe that I was pregnant again, bla bla bla"

So, here are some cuties. :)

They finally identified Lil J's bio father

This guy was scheduled to be tested in 2009.. He missed 3 different court ordered appointments.

The plan was that the court would just terminate all unknown fathers at the same time as they terminate his mother's rights.

After the 3rd no-show, it was said that they would not search him out again. Well, I guess since the case is leading to termination, they wanted to get 100% certainty that he is or is not the father.

Well, it came back that this 3rd guy is the father. This guy left bio mom when she was 6 months pregnant and was never seen again. He has the same issues that his bio mom has - so it is not like he can parent at this time.

The caseworker spoke to this guy before the test results and he said he *might* surrender his rights before a trial. But wants pictures, and maybe a phone call before he would decide.

I know they would not just *give* Lil J to him if he wanted to parent...that they would do background checks, and he would still have to follow some sort of plan.....but being totally selfish, I am hoping he just does a surrender.

This guy was with her from the begining of her pegnancy (and according to him about a year before), and then was with her until 6 months pregnant. So, it is not like he didn't know he had a (possible) kid. Even if there was the possibility of someone else, he left knowing it could very well be his. Never sought her out for the next 3-5 years either.

My caseworker is going to speaking to him shortly, I have already given her some pics to send him. So, I guess we wait.

On another note, Lil J's mom is still MIA. There was a brief message to my CWs supervisor in Dec. But, there has been no visits since Oct 27th.

I have the cutest "Model"

I am having a great time making these Ruffled Bloomers. Might be starting a little business - maybe a etsy shop, and selling at craft fairs as well. I have gotten some interest in these, so maybe I could make a little extra cash. Heck, every little bit helps being that I am a SAHM.

EDIT - I have started an Etsy Shop - called Giggle Worm

Of course, since I think the perfect age for these things are babies around Elsie's age, it makes perfect sense to use her to model them LOL. I am working on making a teeny tiny pattern just for newborns, since these might be a little too big for them.

I live in the boonies, but went to a fabric store about an hour away (the closest one outside of Walm.art) and it was like I walked into heaven. wow! It was fun to try to find coordinating patterns, colors, and prints.

Working on these are also helping me with one of my New Year's Resolutions - to get of the PC more (I know, as I blog haha). So, I have been crafting, cleaning, organizing, etc. I have found so many videos on fabric flowers, man they are addicting. I will have to post pics of just those.

So - now I just have to practice my photo skills, and you know, get much better lighting in my house. This way my sample pics will look better. I am actually going to get Lil J's pics taken for his birthday...maybe I will just slip Elsie in her bloomers for a few shots.

So, here are a few shots of some of my recent stuff. And, I will post a link to an etsy shop when I start one.

Is Expecting.......

I just put this as my facebook status:

Amy is: EXPECTING!! I know, I know it's crazy isn't it? I can't believe it myself. I wasn't going to put it on here because it's obvious but wanted to make it official. I mean who would have guessed that we are expecting!! Yup it's official. My family and Friends in New Jersey are expecting *sNoW* AGAIN today and tomorrow!!

OMG - could you imagine!?!?!?!?

I conceived Elsie when Cora was (around) Elsie's current age. NO WAY would I do it for another. That would be 2 under 2....Again, NO WAY.

Besides - that shop is closed. But, it totally totally totally freaked lots of people out LOL