The Last Day of the Year

Today is the last day of the year. The year has gone by so fast. As always, I still have no plans for tonight. We had about 10 different types of plans, but nothing was ever set in stone.

A house party, going to a "club", dinner, etc. But, none of those things really went anywhere. I am hoping that Frank hears something at work today. Otherwise, it is Happy New Year in my living room.

It's not like I NEED to go out, it's just fun to do so. I can't really do anything super crazy - I have to leave tomorrow at 9:30 am to get Colin. He has been away almost a week at his father's house. I miss him so much. Evertime I pick him up, he looks different to me...like he grew a foot or something.

Colin only sees his father twice a year. The week between Christmas and New Years, and then a week in either July or August. This is not my choice, but, his father has always been a jackass so I guess the lack of visits should not be a surprise. Whatever.

I may add to this post later - in the mean time.......HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My life - 10 days at a time

I think it is true. I am living my life 10 days at a time.

CD 1 - 10: Living carefree. Pissed that I got my period. But, excited that I did not have a 110 day cycle. Constantly checking the calendar for CD10, when I will start using OPKs. Thinking about my due date if I get pregnant this cycle.

CD 10-20(ish): Taking OPKs, waiting and waiting for a positive. Looking at an OPK in bizarre ways in the HOPE that maybe upside down, one eye closed, standing on one foot, using a black-light might produce a darker second line. Taking multiple OPKs because of my fear that I will miss a LH Surge. Tying really hard to keep sex fun with my husband.

CD 20-30(ish): Hoping that OPK that I was SURE was positive actually made me ovulate and hoping that we did the deed (DTD) enough. Writing on the calendar and circling with a big red marker 10 DPO. Over thinking every little non symptom - wondering if this was THE cycle. Taking HPTs way too early thinking that I will get a positive. Again doing the upside down, one eye closed, standing on one foot, using a black-light dance thinking that maybe I will be able to see a second line.

I don't want it to be like this, it just is.

Amy got ran over by a reindeer

Sing it....Amy got ran over by a reindeer, driving home from family's house Christmas Eve.....



Yup, I hit a deer driving home from my IL's house on Christmas Eve. This was about 10 minutes AFTER I avoided hitting a HUGE deer.



I don't know if I killed the deer, it was not on the side of the road....so, if it did die, it died in the woods.



Luckily, there is not too much damage to the car, and we are all OK. But, it damaged the side panel, the bumper, the hood, and broke the headlight that I just replaced. So, I am sure it will not be cheap to fix.



Here is a picture (PS - that is not mud on the side of the car. Apprently, that is deer snot!):

Cycle Day # 2

Well, I guess I should be happy that I did not waste my last expensive pregnancy test. I got my period yesterday; so today is CD2.

It is really weird, I am disappointed.....but not crying my eyes out upset. We have an RE appointment next month, so maybe we will get some answers soon.

This is going to sound weird, but I am hoping that I have another late(r) ovulation date. The night of CD13 and CD14 I will be out of town....without my husband. I really can't cancel it either.

So, if I ovulate on CD 20/21 like I did this past cycle I will be OK. However, you know damn right I will be jumping my husband as soon as I return on CD 15 - just to be on the safe side.

My appointment with the RE will be on CD19, I have no idea if it makes a difference or not.

On the plus side, I have been able to get my period on my own for several cycles in a row. With a decent cycle length (45, 30ish). So, there is still hope that we can do this on our own.

I am sure that when we meet with the RE, they will talk to us about our options and then order CD3 bloodwork. I am hoping that there will not be a CD3, because I will be pregnant.

Gift Cards and Shopping

OK, like I posted before, I am not happy with the quantity of the gifts for Colin this year. He is getting a few high ticket items. So, that means not as many.

So, I have been buying stupid non-gifts things that I would have bought anyway, but will wait until Christmas until he gets them (socks, underwear, etc)

So, I got a $50 AMEX gift card from my boss, I spent the entire thing on more gifts for Colin to put under the tree.

A bunch of little things like a cheat code book for his video games ($5); Magic cards - 3 Packs ($4 each, total $12); DVD/CD tower ($20); Pez for the stocking with refills ($3); Track Pants - 2 pair ($12.00).

I really don't need anything anyway. Besides, I would rather he has a nice Christmas than me buying myself a cute purse or something.

Although he does not believe in Santa anymore, he is still a little kid.

RE Appointment Made

I made my RE appointment.

I have been putting this off since November. I guess I kept thinking that THIS would be the cycle that worked. Maybe it has - I still have a few days before AF is even due - so who knows.

But, it turns out that the doctor that I want to see is only in my local office on Thursdays - so I figured I should make the appointment now, so I can be seen in early January.

My appointment is Jan 10th. I am HOPING and PRAYING that I have to cancel this appointment.

I guess I should be more specific

I know 11 dpo is still early, but I figured I would test this morning to be on the safe side. I am not a big drinker. But, I wouldn't drink at all if I got a + test.

Even though I am POSITIVE that I got a +OPK and did the deed (lol) I am not sure it worked. I totally do NOT feel pregnant. I will not test again until Sunday (probably - lol).

I am dissappointed, but since it is still pretty early, I know I still have a chance so I am not upset yet.