My life - 10 days at a time

I think it is true. I am living my life 10 days at a time.

CD 1 - 10: Living carefree. Pissed that I got my period. But, excited that I did not have a 110 day cycle. Constantly checking the calendar for CD10, when I will start using OPKs. Thinking about my due date if I get pregnant this cycle.

CD 10-20(ish): Taking OPKs, waiting and waiting for a positive. Looking at an OPK in bizarre ways in the HOPE that maybe upside down, one eye closed, standing on one foot, using a black-light might produce a darker second line. Taking multiple OPKs because of my fear that I will miss a LH Surge. Tying really hard to keep sex fun with my husband.

CD 20-30(ish): Hoping that OPK that I was SURE was positive actually made me ovulate and hoping that we did the deed (DTD) enough. Writing on the calendar and circling with a big red marker 10 DPO. Over thinking every little non symptom - wondering if this was THE cycle. Taking HPTs way too early thinking that I will get a positive. Again doing the upside down, one eye closed, standing on one foot, using a black-light dance thinking that maybe I will be able to see a second line.

I don't want it to be like this, it just is.