Yes, I know - Thanksgiving was yesterday. But, for me, it is more fitting that I post this blog post today.
Today is November 27th. This day last year is when I had loss number 4. It was an unmedicated cycle, which I could not believe. I was pregnant after over 2 years of trying. Pregnant on my own. At this point, positive pregnancy tests really did not mean that much to me anymore. I had had 3 losses up to that point, and I was almost not believing that it could be possible.
It is at this point that we had already started the fost/adopt process. In fact, we had just finished our PRIDE classes just a few days before.
While we were excited to start our family through fost/adopt, the thought of being pregnant on my own was just wonderful. Of course that feeling was short lived and I can honestly say it was a really low point in my life. Loss number 4. 4th loss in 8 months. 4th of 5 losses in 2008. How could things be so unfair.
BUT - it is because of those losses that I have what I have today. I have a beautiful family, one I would not have if I did not have loss after loss. Yes, I would have had a baby - maybe even another one by now. But, I would not have Lil J, or Cora. It is THEM that makes my family what it is today, one year later.
On Nov 27 of 2008, I would never have thought that I would have yet another loss, or would have a great 3 yr old, or that I would EVER have Cora.
So many things have changed in my life since last year. I am so grateful for my family and I am so very thankful for them. They are my world.
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4 comments:
It is so very amazing to see what can happen in a mere 365 days. It seems like you have so very much to be thankful for this year. Congratulations again and enjoy your holidays!
This is really inspiring to me today, as I spent Thanksgiving mourning my first loss (of 2 weeks ago). I'm trying to be hopeful about what next year's Thanksgiving could bring.
Wow, I had no idea that you had five losses before Cora. I knew you had a struggle, but wow. I am so happy for you that you were blessed with Lil' J and Cora.
I'm so glad I stumbled across your blog. I've wondered how it would be to take care of a foster child and then get pregnant. It is something I've considered. Has there been any jealously from Lil J. I'm assuming your husband and son have had to step up to spend more time with him as you are adjusting taking care of a newborn.
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