I love him so much already....

Lil J was placed with us about 2.5 weeks ago. Right now, he is a foster child. If the mom does not work her court ordered plan, then it is possible that we would be able to adopt him.

This process can take a long time, about 2+ years.

To date, mom has not been working her plan at all. Part of her plan includes visits. So, she has not seen Lil J in about a month (another family had him before me).

Anyway, his case worker called me yesterday and asked if I can make a call to the mom (blocked number of course), because she will be "unavailable" for a period of 28 days to 3 months.

Since it is in our "contract" that we will support reunification, I knew I would have to make the call.

We did just that, he talked to her like he would talk to anyone else, not really getting the idea that it was mom on the phone. After they chatted, she spoke to me for a minute or two. What she said really got to me.

She thanked me for taking care of her son, that she would pray for me everyday, that I am an angel that she will never forget, she misses and loves Lil J very much, etc. I wished her the best of luck and we hung up.

I got off the phone and cried and cried. I know that there is always a possibilities of kids going back, and I know that there the possibility that they will not. I knew I would love him no matter what.

But in 2 weeks, I have grown so attached to him. I love him like he is my own - and I know it will be devestating if he goes back to mom.

I have always said that I will never fault a mom for working her plan and gettting her child back, and that I am here to love and care for any child that comes into my care.

They want us to love these kids, make them feel like part of the family. We have done just that. But, boy does it hurt to know that he could go back.

+++++++ I just want to add that I KNOW if he goes back to mom, it is the best thing for him. But, it still hurts just thinking about it++++++++