It's the climb

I have posted before about enjoying the path that you take, even if it is the road less travelled, or a road that lead you through rough and patchy places.

I heard a song a few days ago and was really able to listen to the words. I am not a fan of the person who sings it, but the words are GREAT.

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,

Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah)

I just wanted to share this

Sigh of relief

Yesterday was my follow-up glucose test. YUCK. Note to anyone out there, the orange taste SO much better than the lemon-lime. It was a pain to sit in the office for 3+ hours, but now it is done and I home there will never be a reason for me to repeat it in this pregnancy. I should get the results by Friday, Monday at the latest. They normally do not call with "normal" results, but I personally think it is rude not to call on any follow-up test. Anyway, the nurse told me she will look out for it and call me if she sees them come in. She also told me that if I do not hear by Monday afternoon, to give them a call.

Back to the Sigh of Relief. I had my follow-up bloodwork done at my last appointment. Since my last results were elevated, I was nervous about getting the results. I knew they would be in, too.

My risk last time was 1:110. The follow-up was 1:850!!!!! So, a MUCH better result and no additional testing is needed. If you do the math, I have a 0.12% chance of having a Down's baby - so basically a non risk. This was a huge relief. Yes, I would have loved this baby no matter what, but I really needed to know one way or the other.

Besides, if I was going to give birth to a special needs child, I would not be able to deliver in the small country hospital, they do not have a NICU. So knowledge is a good thing.

Oh - also, I am up one pound. That brings me to negative (-) 5 pounds at the OB and negative (-) 9 pounds since I found out I am pregnant.

Cervical Scan today

I had my 1st cervical scan today. I have been trying not to get into the nitty gritty of the results, it just makes me go home and google it.

Anyway, the tech said everything looked great, it is the size and shape (?) that it should be. She again asked if we wanted to know the gender - which to me means that she totally knows. Personally, I think this info should be in bold letters on front of my file. Something like "SHE DOES NOT WANT TO KNOW, DON'T ASK AND DON'T LET IT SLIP" Am I wrong?

I would hate to find out by accident (again).

I guess since I was there, she also did a basic anatomy scan as well. The baby was moving TONS and had a nice heartbeat of 170! It is cool to see things when she points them out. I got some 3D pics as well - which I will not be sharing because the baby really looks like an alien. There is one pic that the baby is giving the thumbs up and another one that looks like it is doing "touchdown". Already got a sports fan, just like daddy lol.

I go back tomorrow for my repeat glucose test, and I am hoping to get the results of the follow-up bloodwork (screening for down's). Although, I am not sure I will be able to get them, mainly because I am only seeing a nurse, not a doc. Which now that I think about it, I really do not like. This means that the next time that I see a doc will be at my "big" u/s which is not until the second week of May.

I guess I will have to talk to the nurse tomorrow because I am sure I can't wait till my 20 week appointment to get the results of my glucose test anyway. I will ask for the doc to call me. Plus, based on the results from the bloodwork, I may have to go see a u/s specialist.

I will update more tomorrow after the appointment

Getting the Zofran today - hope it works

Yes - I got the script last week. No - I have not filled it yet. Everyday I think it will just get better. But, it really has not. Plus, he is not doing any better on the potty. I decided to fill it using the generic version, which had to be ordered (well, so did the Zofran). It will be ready today, just have to go and pick it up.

I spoke to the pharmacist, and she said she would not be able to know if my insurance would even cover the Rx until she filled it. But, she said that with no insurance, it is about $27 A PILL!

I figured, why take the chance and not want to fill it if my insurance does not pay for it. I take generics all the time. And if this one does not work, then maybe I will try the name brand.

I have also tried to find peppermint oil - nope, can't find that. I tried sucking on peppermint lifesavers - that did not work either.

So, I am hoping this is the miracle drug

Mommy - why are you putting spaghetti in the potty?

Do I need to say more? Probably not, but I will.

I have been throwing up almost everytime I change Lil J - poopy diapers, not just wet diapers. I have tried to do a bunch of different options to try not to throw up.

I have tried vicks under the nose, shoving baby wipes IN my nose, different breathing techniques, closing my eyes, everything. And, nothing is really working. And to make matters worse, Lil J has a dirty diaper at least 2 times a day.

We have working on potty training, REALLY working on it.

I really know that this is the reason why I have lost 10 pounds already in this pregnancy. I got the Rx for Zofran. But, I have not filled it. A part of me really does not want to. I really don't want to HAVE to take it. Plus, each time I go to change him, I really think it will not happen. Thinking this will be the one time that I do not throw up.

We have starting bribing Lil J to use the potty. Yeah, I know - I am a horrible mom. But, it is 2 green jelly beans, so not too bad.

About 5 minutes after we finished dinner, of course he announced that he needed to be changed. I made my husband do it. I mean, it is only fair - right? So, we put him to bed at the regular time and about 1/2 hour later he announced that he has to be changed again.

It was about 2 hours after we ate, so I thought it would be "one of those times" that I would not throw up. Nope, lost my entire dinner of spaghetti and meat sauce.

Lil J was so kind to ask, "mommy, why are you putting spaghetti in the potty" Note to self: meat sauce REALLY burns when it comes back up.

My doc also suggested pepermint oil under the nose, she said a lot of people who work in a morgue use it to stop the throwing up. I think I will look for that tomorrow.

So, now I technichally did not eat dinner, and my throat feels like it is burned. YUCK!

Crappy OB appointment

The appointment was crappy on so many levels.

1 - Failed my 1hr Glucose Test
I had to have my glucose test earlier than most because my dad is a diabetic, I have a history of blood sugar problems, and oh, yeah - I am fat.

Anything over 130 is failing, mine was 165. So, now I have to get the 3 hr done asap. Lucky me.

2 - 1st Tri Screening came back as elevated
I had the NT Scan and related bloodwork done about 2 weeks ago. The scan was fine according to the doc. The measurement was 1.7. I looked this up and that seemed to be fine.

So, I get the bloodwork results back today. Tri18 was 1 in 10,000 - yay! Down's came back as elevated. At my age, a "good" result would be 1 in 270. Well, mine came back as 1 in 110. I know that is not a huge "bad" result - but still sucks!

I had my follow-up bloodwork today. I will get those results next week. My doc said that in their practice, they recommend an amnio if the results are more than 1 in 100, so yeah a big 10 points less. I will not get an amnio, as it has a risk of m/c (yes, I know - a small risk, but I am not willing to take that chance). Depending on how the follow-up bloodwork is, they may send me to a high risk fetal specialist who will do a very detailed u/s and look for other down's markers. There were no obvious markers at the NT scan, but I guess they look more closely to everything.

3 - I lost more weight.
This makes my total weight "gain" to negative 6. Yup, I am almost 16 weeks preg and I am down 6 pounds from my 1st ob appointment, and a total of 10 pounds down from when I first got my BFP. I am still throwing up (only when I change Lil J) so the doc gave me an Rx for Zofran. She is not happy that I have lost this much weight.

So, yeah - great appointment. I have to go back next week for the 3 hour glucose screening and a separate appointment for a scan to check my cervix. They are doing the cervical scan because I had 2 D&Cs last year and they just want to make sure they did not affect my cervix.

So, there are the details of my crappy OB appointment.

What "Brand" of Asian is he??

Lil J is part Korean (1/4). But, you can really only see it in the shape of his eyes. And, it is usually after I tell someone, it is only then that they say, "oh, yeah - I can totally see that" He has light hair, fair skin, & blue eyes - so it really is just the shape of the eyes.

Well, at the Easter Egg Hunt today, someone said (quoted), "um, what brand of asian is he?"
What BRAND? Who the hell says that??? And what difference does it make?

It was the most bizarre question I have ever heard.

I did answer in a non-rude way, but I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind

May have gotten lucky

We still have not received any medical cards at all in regards to Lil J. Our temporary card expired on 3/31. When I called a few days before the 31st, I was told that I would have my card on or by the 31st. Fine.

Well, here it is the 7th of the month and I still have not gotten anything.

They way it works in our state is that each child qualifies for federal medical insurance (Medicaid) and then each person also has to pick a HMO for the county that they live in.

I basically picked the HMO that had the same main provider as our current family insurance. I figured it would be easier because they will more than likely have the same medical providers.

When Lil J came to us, he came with NO medical records and no information regarding his immunization records. I was told that they are going to "try" to get them, but if we did not get them by May, that we would have to have blood tests to see what he has gotten, if any. There was a possibility that he would have to have ALL the shots again.

Well, here is where the lucky part comes in. When I called looking for the cards, etc - I found out that his mother also was on Medicaid, and by total coincidence, she also picked the same HMO that I did. There were about 6-8 HMOs that I could have picked. So, the fact that she had the same one is great news.

The HMO was also able to tell me the doctors name and the last time he was seen by that doctor. Which means I can call there and request the records. YAY! I called and I guess I just need to send over a request along with the documents that state I am his foster parent.

Since according to the HMO, he was seen in 2007 & 2008, which I would hope would mean that he has at least SOME of his vaccinations. I really did not want him to be poked and stuck for no reason.

So, after being on the phone for almost an hour between 4 different numbers, I finally got great news. yay!

Seriously, is is that hard to give notice

I just got ANOTHER call about a vacation respite placement. Starting Thursday till the 21st. See my original post below.

I mean - come on. I have a hard time believing that someone does not know about vacation, especially when it is over spring break and a holiday.

I again had to say no, for the same reasons as the first one.

But something makes me think this will NOT be the last call I get.

Turned down a respite placement

When you do foster care, they have this progran called respite. Basically, it is used when the current foster family has either an emergency, or a vacation and they need short term placement for their foster children.

In this case, the current foster family is going on vacation starting tomorrow - and yes, DCF is mad that they gave such short notice.

Anyway, it would be for 2 kids - 19 month girl and 4 yr old boy. The placement would be for one week and would come tomorrow.

If we had more notice, we would have said yes in a second. But, I have several doctor's/dentist/other appointments this week and easter is on Sunday.

I would have to rearrage all the appointments, cancel some of the other things (playdates, egg hunts, etc) because I can not bring 3 kids to a doctor's appointment and 3 kids would be too much for a playdate. Also, Easter is on Sunday, so of course we would be making baskets, etc for them.

My husband said it was really up to me, since I would be home with all these kids all week. But, he did say that it looks bad if we ask for respite in the future and turned down this one.

Plus, we would have to assemble the other twin bed, which would have to be done tonight.
They would be coming with a week's worth of their stuff, so it is not like I would really have to go out and buy stuff.

I really hated saying no - especially since they are in my age range. I just hated saying no to these kids. I did tell them that if they do not find a respite home by the end of the day, to call me back. This will give me the rest of the day to think about it.

Heck, at least now I have the van, so if they did come, I would be ready lol

First Baby Purchase

There was a hug consignment sale in my local area yesterday. They have it 2x a year so it is pretty big. They have all things from cribs, strollers, toys, clothes, etc.

I really went to get some some toys for Lil J and to see if I could get some bargains elsewhere. The prices are set by each individual "vendor", so it is very possible that 2 identical items are prices differently. So, you really have to look.

I was looking over at the bedding section, a few caught my eye. There was one set that I really liked, sold by 3 different people, they all wanted around $75 for the full set. I don't want to sound cheap, but I did not want to pay $75 for used bedding - I was there looking for a bargain :)

So, I looked around, and saw a bedding set. It said it was missing the fitted sheet (no big deal) and the price......$10!

I could not turn it down for 10 bucks, and besides, the sheet the the easiest thing to replace. I am sure most of the time it would not have the matching sheet on it anyway!

It is very gender neutral (not finding out the sex), and it will match the current wall color. It only comes with one valance, but what I will do is cut the valance in half and add green gingham on either side - I am sure it will look great.

I checked out prices, depending on where you get it, it ranges from $98 - $150 - so I really think I did OK :)

Here is a pic: