Just dropped Lil J off at his visit. This is his first visit since he was removed in Feb. I did meet his mother, just long enough to make the exchange.
He did recongize her, which was one of my big concerns. She thanked me and gave me a hug.
I was OK until I got to my car, that is where I lost it. Man, this is really hard.
I really do hope the best for his mother. Now I wait and hope I do not have a heart attack from now until 1:30.
VISIT UPDATE:
Well, I just got back not too long ago from Lil J's visit. The visit went fine it seemed. Of course I can't get every single detail from the visit for a few reasons:
1 - the mother was right there, so the worker is not gonna say anything bad
2 - unless there was something that happened at the visit that needed to be addressed, I don't think they will share more than "it was fine" Although, I may hear bits and pieces from the case worker at a later date.
Anyway, I felt really bad for the mom. When I went to get him, he got all excited and was yelling, "mommy, mommy, you came back, you came back" I am sure that KILLED his mother.
Then while I was there, his mother said something like, "soon you are going to come live with me" Lil J replied, "no, I want to live with mommy" Again, I am sure that was not easy for the mom to hear.
Then of course my van happens to be the EXACT same van as ALL of the state vans. So the entire parking lot was full of white grand caravans. Lil J kep saying "mommy's van"
I think for future visits, we may or may not do a face to face. I don't want to intentionally hurt the mother's feelings.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Update - Marginal Insertion of the Umbilical Cord
I spoke to my doctor today because I really needed some clarification of the info that I was given on Friday.
But, first a little vent. I call the office today and explain that I want to speak to an actual doctor as the nurse that I was speaking to really did not give me lots of info. I remembered her name, so when asked, I gave it. Told the receptionist that I really needed a doc, not a nurse to call me back. No problem, they will have the doc call back later in the day. I explained what info I needed clarified as well.
Fast forward to later in the day, the SAME nurse calls me that called me on Friday. She was really just calling to make sure what I had questions about. So, I told her and she then repeated the same info that she gave me on Friday and asked if I still needed to talk to the doc. Um, yeah...annoying.
So, the doc finally calls back. I do indeed have something called a "Marginal Insertion of the Umbilical Cord" basically that means that the cord is attached to the placenta on the side, rather than then middle. The middle is the meaty part, so of course that is where it is best.
I really needed more info about this, because there were tons of people that told me that they had it and the type of monitoring and/or complications they had. I wanted to make sure I was prepared for whatever was possible.
He said that while the marginal insertion in itself is kinda rare, most people have no complications from it. Of course I dug deeper, and asked for percentages. He said about 15-25% of pregnancies with this condition will have babies with growth restriction. That is still a pretty high number.
They will do scans starting early in the 3rd tri to check for growth, and if restricted, the level of restriction will determine how often the scans are done. It could be every 2 weeks or every 4.
If the growth seems to be a big problem, I may be admitted to the hospital to very closely monitor growth and fetal distress. OK, good to know.
I asked about a higher chance of a c-section. He said that if I fall into that 25%, then there is a high possibility that a c-section would happen. This is because if they determine that the growth is restricted, then it is best to get the baby out ASAP, so that would not include a vaginal delivery. Plus, the quicker the delivery, the less stress it puts on an already stressed baby. Again, good to know.
But, he did say that I fall into the other 75% where growth is not restricted, then a vagainal delivery would be just fine.
At least I got some more information that I did not get on Friday. So, here I am praying for the best.
But, first a little vent. I call the office today and explain that I want to speak to an actual doctor as the nurse that I was speaking to really did not give me lots of info. I remembered her name, so when asked, I gave it. Told the receptionist that I really needed a doc, not a nurse to call me back. No problem, they will have the doc call back later in the day. I explained what info I needed clarified as well.
Fast forward to later in the day, the SAME nurse calls me that called me on Friday. She was really just calling to make sure what I had questions about. So, I told her and she then repeated the same info that she gave me on Friday and asked if I still needed to talk to the doc. Um, yeah...annoying.
So, the doc finally calls back. I do indeed have something called a "Marginal Insertion of the Umbilical Cord" basically that means that the cord is attached to the placenta on the side, rather than then middle. The middle is the meaty part, so of course that is where it is best.
I really needed more info about this, because there were tons of people that told me that they had it and the type of monitoring and/or complications they had. I wanted to make sure I was prepared for whatever was possible.
He said that while the marginal insertion in itself is kinda rare, most people have no complications from it. Of course I dug deeper, and asked for percentages. He said about 15-25% of pregnancies with this condition will have babies with growth restriction. That is still a pretty high number.
They will do scans starting early in the 3rd tri to check for growth, and if restricted, the level of restriction will determine how often the scans are done. It could be every 2 weeks or every 4.
If the growth seems to be a big problem, I may be admitted to the hospital to very closely monitor growth and fetal distress. OK, good to know.
I asked about a higher chance of a c-section. He said that if I fall into that 25%, then there is a high possibility that a c-section would happen. This is because if they determine that the growth is restricted, then it is best to get the baby out ASAP, so that would not include a vaginal delivery. Plus, the quicker the delivery, the less stress it puts on an already stressed baby. Again, good to know.
But, he did say that I fall into the other 75% where growth is not restricted, then a vagainal delivery would be just fine.
At least I got some more information that I did not get on Friday. So, here I am praying for the best.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Non-central Umbilical Cord
When I had my anatomy scan about a week(ish) ago, they could not get some of the measurements because of the position of the baby. The tech said everything looked OK, and it really was JUST the position of the baby. She had mentioned something about vessels or something. Honestly, I try not to get ALL the details, I go google crazy. As long as they say "everything looks great/good/swell/fab/etc" I just take that info and run with it.
Google, as we all know, can scare the crap out of anyone, so I kinda like being naive in certain things. Of course I want to know the major stuff, but not every teeny tiny detail.
The tech did say that I will probably have growth scans later on to check the size of the baby and then she commented on how big the baby's head was. I assumed they would check the size to make sure it was not too big. Well, you know what they say about assuming.
I went back today and again the tech (same one) said everything looks great. I know they are "just" techs, but I would think they know what they are talking about, after all they have to take the pics in the correct area and know what to look for for "abnormal" results.
After my last scan, I met with the doc but she did not go over the results of the scan, I guess because it was not a complete scan.
Well, today the nurse called with results. I thought this was odd, because they have never called before after any scan and only call for bloodwork, etc if the results are abnormal.
She said that all the anatomy looks good, but I will have to do several growth scans in the 3rd Tri due to my "non-central Umbilical Cord". She said it so casually, it almost took me by surprise. Of course I was in a parking lot, could not find a pen - had a crayon instead. I asked what she meant, because no one had ever used that term before. It sounded like she was just reading it from the chart and then sounded like she was trying to get info on it.
She really could not give me a great answer other than there may be limited blood flow to the baby and that is why growth scans are needed. But, that most people have no problem at all with this. It was really late in the day and since she said it so matter of factly, I figured instead of asking to speak to the doc asap, I would go home and google it.
I googled as soon as I got home, but can't find anything. Seriously, I can not find one speck of any info using that term. I checked all the major medical sites, used all my google skills, everything. Can't find anything.
So, now I am thinking that she gave me the totally wrong term - ugh.
I plan on calling the doc on Tues - the next business day to get a straight answer. But, I am hoping maybe someone who reads this blog might have somekind of answer.
Anyone know anything about this?
Google, as we all know, can scare the crap out of anyone, so I kinda like being naive in certain things. Of course I want to know the major stuff, but not every teeny tiny detail.
The tech did say that I will probably have growth scans later on to check the size of the baby and then she commented on how big the baby's head was. I assumed they would check the size to make sure it was not too big. Well, you know what they say about assuming.
I went back today and again the tech (same one) said everything looks great. I know they are "just" techs, but I would think they know what they are talking about, after all they have to take the pics in the correct area and know what to look for for "abnormal" results.
After my last scan, I met with the doc but she did not go over the results of the scan, I guess because it was not a complete scan.
Well, today the nurse called with results. I thought this was odd, because they have never called before after any scan and only call for bloodwork, etc if the results are abnormal.
She said that all the anatomy looks good, but I will have to do several growth scans in the 3rd Tri due to my "non-central Umbilical Cord". She said it so casually, it almost took me by surprise. Of course I was in a parking lot, could not find a pen - had a crayon instead. I asked what she meant, because no one had ever used that term before. It sounded like she was just reading it from the chart and then sounded like she was trying to get info on it.
She really could not give me a great answer other than there may be limited blood flow to the baby and that is why growth scans are needed. But, that most people have no problem at all with this. It was really late in the day and since she said it so matter of factly, I figured instead of asking to speak to the doc asap, I would go home and google it.
I googled as soon as I got home, but can't find anything. Seriously, I can not find one speck of any info using that term. I checked all the major medical sites, used all my google skills, everything. Can't find anything.
So, now I am thinking that she gave me the totally wrong term - ugh.
I plan on calling the doc on Tues - the next business day to get a straight answer. But, I am hoping maybe someone who reads this blog might have somekind of answer.
Anyone know anything about this?
OK - I think I might be ready to share
I am still super nervous about this pregnancy. But, with each u/s I start to be a tad more relaxed.
I had a scan today which was a follow-up to my scan last week. She could not get good measurements of something because of the position of the baby. Heck, I will never turn down a scan, so yeah for me.
I got a 1/2 way decent picture of the baby's face so I thought I would share.
I had a scan today which was a follow-up to my scan last week. She could not get good measurements of something because of the position of the baby. Heck, I will never turn down a scan, so yeah for me.
I got a 1/2 way decent picture of the baby's face so I thought I would share.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
1st visit - take 2
We now have a visit scheduled for next Wed - same plans. She will take the train into NJ and then get a ride to our local office.
I wonder how it will work out???
I wonder how it will work out???
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Heard from J's Law Guardian
I spoke to J's Law Guardian today and was talking to him about my concerns with mom's request to have his case moved.
I told him that basically mom is now living with her boyfriend which was one of her "in between" addresses. Told about the missed visit, etc.
He basically told me that "let her file the motion - good luck with that one" It really made me feel a bit better. He said that parents, especially ones with attorneys, will make the most ridiculous requests of the court. You would think they are rock-stars with the outrageous requests. He told me some of the weird stuff that he has seen - things like only using a certain barber for the child, not to wear clothes purchased at certain stores, strange visitation requests, etc.
So, even though I thought her request may be a valid request, he really does not think so. Of course, a judge would have final say in that. But, like he said - she chose to move that far away, not because she was starting her life over, not because that is where her job or family are - but that is where her boyfriend lives.
He even said that if a judge DOES think that it has some merit, she would have to prove to a court that this will be her PERMANENT residence, this could take months. She would have to be 100% working her plan as well. We know how that has gone so far.
Having the case transferred to the other state could take months - if they even accept the case. Then he reminded me that with all these months passing - the mom may fall back on her old habits and the case take a turn in one direction or another.
So, for now, I will continue to love him with everything that I have, and we will cross that bridge when and if we get to it.
I told him that basically mom is now living with her boyfriend which was one of her "in between" addresses. Told about the missed visit, etc.
He basically told me that "let her file the motion - good luck with that one" It really made me feel a bit better. He said that parents, especially ones with attorneys, will make the most ridiculous requests of the court. You would think they are rock-stars with the outrageous requests. He told me some of the weird stuff that he has seen - things like only using a certain barber for the child, not to wear clothes purchased at certain stores, strange visitation requests, etc.
So, even though I thought her request may be a valid request, he really does not think so. Of course, a judge would have final say in that. But, like he said - she chose to move that far away, not because she was starting her life over, not because that is where her job or family are - but that is where her boyfriend lives.
He even said that if a judge DOES think that it has some merit, she would have to prove to a court that this will be her PERMANENT residence, this could take months. She would have to be 100% working her plan as well. We know how that has gone so far.
Having the case transferred to the other state could take months - if they even accept the case. Then he reminded me that with all these months passing - the mom may fall back on her old habits and the case take a turn in one direction or another.
So, for now, I will continue to love him with everything that I have, and we will cross that bridge when and if we get to it.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Um, what is THAT? :)
Well, overnight I think I "popped" Still not really showing, but can no longer suck it in at all and my goodness, my entire stomach is really hard.
I started kinda fluffy - OK, more than kinda. But, now I can hardly put my finger in my belly button, it is getting very shallow lol.
If you hold my shirt down, you can see a non-fat bump there. wow, I guess everyone was right, it seems to happen overnight.
Oh, and I "think" I might feel something. I really don't know how to describe it, other than it feels like bubbles popping in my stomach - which it very well might be just that. But, I really think I feel something....pretty cool :)
I started kinda fluffy - OK, more than kinda. But, now I can hardly put my finger in my belly button, it is getting very shallow lol.
If you hold my shirt down, you can see a non-fat bump there. wow, I guess everyone was right, it seems to happen overnight.
Oh, and I "think" I might feel something. I really don't know how to describe it, other than it feels like bubbles popping in my stomach - which it very well might be just that. But, I really think I feel something....pretty cool :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
