Digital = not pregnant

Note to self - when using a digital hpt, pee in a cup.

So, yesterday I got a total definite positive on a $tree hpt. I have actually been testing since the other day when I had the evap line craziness. Each time, I tested negative. There were some that after a few hours I saw a shadow of a line - evap lines or just crazy Amy lines. Who knows.

But, yesterday - I did the hpt and within 30 seconds there was nothing. So, I jumped in the shower and when I got out of the shower, there is was, clear as day. And before you even say anything, I do not take long showers, and I totally checked it within the testing window.

Of course I told my husband, and of course he was super happy. He even had a smirk on his face. I thought I was pregnant all day yesterday. I never thought it would happen to me.

I even started thinking about how I would word in on my blog and on the message boards. I finally thought I would write something like "after ttc for over 2 years, 6 medicated cycles (3 of which were IUI), 3 m/c, and moving forward with adoption.......I got pregnant on my own"

But, I guess I will have to use that announcement for another time.

Last night I had the plan that I would take another hpt this morning and then head to the RE for a beta. I wanted to go today because I would not be able to go again until Monday.

We were happy for a whole day. This morning I took the hpt and it could not have been more NEGATIVE!

I know what a negative test looks like, and I probably even know what an evap line looks like. I know what I saw yesterday.

I did in fact go to the RE, but I guess my local office is not open today, and the main office is an additional 45 minutes away. So, instead, I went to Walmart and bought a digital. Well, a 2 pack of digitals.

After about 3 hours from my first pee, I POAS. But - when I wiped, I realized that I started my period. It would not take a genius to know that the digital would say "not pregnant". So, I wasted the test by actually peeing on it as opposed to peeing in a cup.

Yup, not pregnant. I am just going with a faulty test yesterday. I really don't even want to think about the fact that it could have be a legit test which would mean yet another m/c - or as the medical field likes to call a chemical pregnancy. It is really just too much to handle.

So, I am going with the "I am so excited, this cycle was 30 days, yay" Can you sense the sarcasm!

Yes, we are adopting. And I could not be happier. But, IF is not something that you can just shut off a switch about. It is still upsetting that I can't get pregnant - and that I THOUGHT I was pregnant - without intervention - but that feeling lasted less than 24 hours.

And just because I like to post pics of my pee sticks, here is the hpt from yesterday. The line is pretty clear - no squinting needed.

Finished Class and got assigned!!!!

First, today was the last day of our class. YAY! The month went really fast.

Second, I got my resource worker assigned. I wonder if they felt bad that my paperwork was held up for a MONTH.

Anyway, we have our worker and she will do our homestudy (inspection, backgrounds, references, fingerprints, etc). We have scheduled our fingerprints for next Tuesday.

I hope the rest of the paperwork goes smoothly.

yay for one thing crossed off the list.

Finished Class and got assigned!!!!

First, today was the last day of our class. YAY! The month went really fast.

Second, I got my resource worker assigned. I wonder if they felt bad that my paperwork was held up for a MONTH.

Anyway, we have our worker and she will do our homestudy (inspection, backgrounds, references, fingerprints, etc). We have scheduled our fingerprints for next Tuesday.

I hope the rest of the paperwork goes smoothly.

yay for one thing crossed off the list.

UGH!!!

So totally annoyed! We had class tonight. For the past few sessions, I have asked our trainer if he could check to see if our paperwork was received in the main office. He has been really busy training so he has not been in the main office

The paperwork was given to my neighbor about a month ago and she was going to forward it to the main office. This was suposed to speed up the process.

Since we have not gotten a call, I was concerned that the paperwork never made it to the main office.

Well, I found out tonight why we have not received a call. Our neighbor "lost" the paperwork and it was not until our trainer asked about it was the paperwork located.

Apparently, it was found under several stacks of paperwork on my neighbor's desk. OMG, so frustrated.

Plus, I do not know if all the paperwork was found, or just parts. When we filled out the paperwork, we completed more than the usual person fills out in the begining. A lot of times, you will fill out one set and then when that is returned, you get more, etc etc.

I did keep copies of most of the documents, mainly the ones that would take forever to duplicate.

This is when it is NOT good to know someone. I am really losing confidence in my neighbor - first it took a month to get the apps, and now it took a month to get the apps to the main office.

If I knew this would be a problem, I would never have given it to her. I could have sent it myself.

So, UGH is the best way to express how I feel right now.

My trainer told me he personally saw that his supervisor has possession of the paperwork. And since this week is a holiday, I am sure I will not be contacted this week. I am giving it until the 1st week of Dec. If I do not hear by them, I will call myself. That is basically gives them a little over a week.

UGH!!!

So totally annoyed! We had class tonight. For the past few sessions, I have asked our trainer if he could check to see if our paperwork was received in the main office. He has been really busy training so he has not been in the main office

The paperwork was given to my neighbor about a month ago and she was going to forward it to the main office. This was suposed to speed up the process.

Since we have not gotten a call, I was concerned that the paperwork never made it to the main office.

Well, I found out tonight why we have not received a call. Our neighbor "lost" the paperwork and it was not until our trainer asked about it was the paperwork located.

Apparently, it was found under several stacks of paperwork on my neighbor's desk. OMG, so frustrated.

Plus, I do not know if all the paperwork was found, or just parts. When we filled out the paperwork, we completed more than the usual person fills out in the begining. A lot of times, you will fill out one set and then when that is returned, you get more, etc etc.

I did keep copies of most of the documents, mainly the ones that would take forever to duplicate.

This is when it is NOT good to know someone. I am really losing confidence in my neighbor - first it took a month to get the apps, and now it took a month to get the apps to the main office.

If I knew this would be a problem, I would never have given it to her. I could have sent it myself.

So, UGH is the best way to express how I feel right now.

My trainer told me he personally saw that his supervisor has possession of the paperwork. And since this week is a holiday, I am sure I will not be contacted this week. I am giving it until the 1st week of Dec. If I do not hear by them, I will call myself. That is basically gives them a little over a week.

Nothing but evap lines

Yes - I kept the old hpt from yesterday. Anyway, by last night (obviuosly WAY after the testing window), I saw what I can only assume is an evap line. There is totally a second pink line there. But, it was never there earlier in the day. Oh, and yes - I took apart both tests.

In the first picture, it is kind of hard to see. But, I think you can see it in the second picture.

However, when I POAS this morning, the only thing I got was a dent of a line. You can actually see this in both pictures. The dent is in the exact same spot as the evap? line. So, if you are having trouble seeing the evap line, just look at the same spot at the dent.

I have not had any spotting other than that first inital time. So, who knows.

Oh - and I am totally aware of the fact that I could have ovulated at any time, and the spotting could be for a nummber of reasons. I will probably test again in a few days if I do not get full period flow.

What is this? Spotting/period??

OK, I got my period on Oct 29. This was my first period after my last m/c. Ok, fine. Now, the past year, I have basically been on medicated (or pg) cycles. Before that, I had very different cycle lengths.

So, according to my math training in college (LOL), today is CD26. I am spotting or it may be the start of my period.

What the hell?? If this is my period, then this cycle was a 25 day cycle? I had cycles of 110 days last year.

Oh - and because I am a convinced that I will be one of the 5% of women who get pregnant after they decide to adopt, I took a pregnancy test.

I did not keep track of ovulation - it is really just a waste of money, because in the past, I have not ovulated without meds. yes, I know I can track ovulation with other means than an OPK, but have always hated temping. Plus, I hit snooze many times before I get up. Many times I hit snooze and never even know the alarm went off.

But, if you think that I may have ovulated like a "regular" woman, I would be about 12 DPO.

The last time I was pregnant, I started spotting on 12 dpo. That obviously ended badly.

I bought a 2 pack of tests, I took one mid day, negative. I will probably take the other one tomorrow - talk about a waste of money.

But, I guess I would just want to know if I am having yet another m/c.

Oh, and if you ask about other "symptoms" - well, I made a comment to my husband the other day that my boobs have been killing me since last week. Just like the last 3 times. But, that could also just be pms/getting your period.

When does it end? When will I fully "give up" on getting pregnant. Yes, we are moving forward. And, we are VERY excited about it. But, I don't think IF is something that will just go away. I know it will be something that I am always thinking about - even though we are not "trying" anymore. I know it sounds like jibberish, I don't think I am explaining it well.

So, I guess I will keep everyone updated. I am sure I will get the same results tomorrow.