So far - no headache

I know I am jinxing myself for even saying it. But, so far (since about 7 last night) the Clomid headache is gone. Who knows if it was even from the clomid - it could have been a plain old bad headache.

So, by now I have taken 3 days worth of clomid - I take them at night so today would be day 4 and tomorrow is my last set of pills.

I have to remember to take the antibiotics tomorrow in prep for my HSG on Friday. I have been told by my doctor that the HSG machine in their office is a state of the art machine and the HSG will take less than a minute - and that actual HSG procedure will only take 10-15 seconds - I guess the prep stuff takes 45 seconds.

I can't wait to report on that. I think I might actually time it - just for kicks. Here's praying for nice clear tubes!

Clomid Headaches Suck!

I had no side effects from the first 2 cycles of clomid (1st was 50 mg - 2nd was 100mg)

This cycle is another 100mg cycle. I have only taken 2 pills so far, I have had a headache since about 12 hours after I took the first pill. Tylenol does nothing. It feels like my left eye will pop out of my head any minute now.

I guess in the end it will be worth it

I feel like a bad mom

I really feel like a horrible mom.

I won't go into details beacuse I would like to keep a lot of private. But, I feel like I failed Colin somehow. There is a situation that seems to repeat itself over and over again.

Colin is a GOOD kid - he really is. But, it seems like what is going on is my fault - I know it is not, but I can't help but think that if I raised him different, or was a stay at home mom, or only worked part time, etc that thing would be a little different.

This has NOTHING to do with my marriage - or my husband, it is something that has been going on for about 6 years.

We keep having the same converstion over and over again, things change for about a week and then they go right back the way they were. This has been going on for years now. It seems like it is never getting better. I seriously think that because he is a cute kid, polite most of the time, a little boy, etc that people let him get away with so much more.

It is hard to write about this without full disclosure. But, it upsets me so much to even think about it. I try to be calm with him. I remember how much I HATED my father. Hated the way he spoke to me. Hated the way he belittled me. I NEVER want Colin to feel that way about me.

I have a bad temper sometimes, I think I am sometimes too hard on Colin. Things have to be said, I just hope he won't hate me in the end.

I have looked into getting some additional help for this situation, but most things are so much more extreme that what I think we need right now. Right now, I am at a loss about how to help him. I have tried so much already.

Concerned about IUI timing

I went in for CD3 stuff today. Everthing looks good.

I was originally going to do clomid 3-7, then go in on CD11 for u/s and bloodwork and then probably do trigger on cd 12 (evening) and IUI on CD14 (this is assuming that everything goes according to "plan"

So, my office is actually a satelite office of many offices - which is not a problem.

But, today the doc said the I have to do clomid on CD 5-9 and then go back to the office on CD13 for u/s and bloodwork. - this is mainly because my office is not open on the weekends.

If I trigger on the evening of CD13, there is a possibility that I could ovulate on my own with just the clomid on CD14 - right?. So if I have the IUI 36 hrs after trigger then that would be CD15, and I could have missed my window.

The nurse did not seemed worried, so I am not sure if I should be worried.

If you take clomid 5-9, instead of 3-7, maybe you ovualte later than CD14? I hope so. I would really hate to mess up my first IUI because of a timing problem.

I asked if I should bring the trigger with me on CD13. I guess if I am ready to trigger on CD13 at the appointment, then I would do so and then still have the IUI on CD14 (24 hours after trigger)

I know the RE knows what he is talking about - and I don't want to question his authority, the timing just makes me nervous.

IUI # 1 is a go

Today is CD 1. I knew this cycle was a bust. Now, I am not sure if I am upset because I got my period, or happy that I did.

Let me explain. Of course I am disappointed that I am not pregnant - so this is where I would be upset for my period. But, I DID get my period.

Why I am happy I got my period:

1 - Ovulating in itself is a great thing for me.
2 - Getting my period means I do not need meds to force a period
3 - This is my second period with a 31/32 day cycle - which is SOOOO much better than 110 days
4 - My Luteal Phase (LP) was the normal range (13 days)
5 - I am now moving on with a plan.

So, as you can see, getting my period is not the end of the world. I will go on with my plan and try to stay positive.

So, here is my plan for this cycle:

Today = CD1
Friday = CD3; bloodwork and U/S & CD3-CD7 = Clomid 100 mg
Feb 1st = CD 10; HSG (not happy about this timing because it means no sex until then)
Feb 2nd = CD 11; bloodwork and U/S to check lining and follies (I hope there is enough)
Feb 3rd or Feb 4th = CD 12/13; possible trigger with Ovidrel
Feb 5th??? = CD14; possible IUI

Now, since in the past I did not do well with the Clomid, I am hoping that since now my cycles seem to be a little more in check I will respond better this time.

I do not want too many follies because I would hate to cancel the IUI. So, for now, the trigger and IUI dates are just tenative.

Of course, I will keep this blog posted with updates

I'm sure this cycle is a bust

I am 12 dpo and it still is a BFN. I have been cramping since I got the postive OPK so I doubt this cycle is going to work. I just don't feel it. I know, I know, you are not out until you get your period, but I am counting this cycle as a bust.

Next cycle will be my first IUI. So, if this cycle is busted, at least we are moving foward with treatments.

Speaking of which. First a disclaimer - yes, I know it is great to have IF insurance...I am very greatful for that. There are so many woman that have to pay our of pocket...which is going to make the following complaint seem petty. But, it is still a frustration that I am dealing with. I KNOW others who have to pay out of pocket have to deal with so much more.

Only part of my meds are available through my local pharmacy. All injectables are only covered by a "mail-order" pharmacy. And only one.

So, in the past two weeks I have been dealing with crappy customer service reps. I have gotten mis-information, call disconnects, flat out rudeness, etc. Thank God I decided to fill the meds right away instead of waiting for the actual IUI cycle. It has taken 10 days to finally receive confirmation that the meds are covered and will be shipped to me. If I waited until CD1 or CD2 to order the meds, (and based on the same turn-around time) my meds would only get here on the day that I would need to start them (approx day 12/13). So, frustrating.

Plus, don't these people know that IF makes people (well me at least) total biotches?!?!?! I just can't deal with crappy customer service at this time.

I do have to say that once I got a hold of the IF customer Service area - well, all was well. She calmed me down. When over some mis-information. You can tell that only the nice people work in the IF area.

So, at least the meds are on their way.

Yeah I tested....whatever

Did you really think I would hold out until Sunday. Nah....I knew I would get a BFN - I mean it is only 9 dpo. I guess another reason why I like to test early is a negative test doesn't seem too upsetting. It's like...duh, I knew it would be negative. So, when I do get my BFP...it really will seem like a shock.



On another note, I am so excited to be meeting some ladies from theNest. We are meeting in the city for lunch. I have done this locally with just NJ nesties and I love that I can have a regular conversation and not have to explain terminology or anything. I am EXCITED!!!!